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ETC. => Spam Board => Topic started by: Dr. Insomniac on March 18, 2013, 12:52:14 PM

Title: Ask Jesus
Post by: Dr. Insomniac on March 18, 2013, 12:52:14 PM
(https://animationrevelation.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F-dhSeNxLDOLU%2FT1qyV_DMydI%2FAAAAAAAAAvg%2FnZYuQK-dwXo%2Fs1600%2F1949.jpg&hash=a22313f68c150ca49ebb7e7d4482c3131b2eb7db)

Greetings, heathens. I am Jesus. I have possessed this lowly account you know as "Dr. Insomniac' in favor of spreading the good word of the Lord (i.e. me) to this unholy land. To initiate the cleansing, I shall answer several of your questions. Please be polite, and do not ask me to grant wishes. I'm serious.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: The Shadow Gentleman on March 18, 2013, 01:53:43 PM
 :imnothappy:

:thinkin:
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Dr. Insomniac on March 18, 2013, 02:06:42 PM
Quote from: Graywulf on March 18, 2013, 01:53:43 PM
:imnothappy:

:thinkin:
I, Jesus, wish to know what ails you.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Avaitor on March 18, 2013, 02:47:15 PM
Count Grishnackh, smash or pass?
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Foggle on March 18, 2013, 02:52:27 PM
HEllo !!

my friend pablo tell me u have problems getting IT up i am here to give you coupon on product best viagra cialis (http://link) please your woman 4 half retail price free sample try viagara now (http://link) i would like to know penis does not become hard upon seeing nakked body get viagra cialis viagra here (http://link) plus free porn dvd
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Daikun on March 18, 2013, 05:38:59 PM
When is the Second Coming already? We've been waiting two thousand years; quit stalling!
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Dr. Insomniac on March 18, 2013, 06:03:36 PM
Quote from: Avaitor on March 18, 2013, 02:47:15 PM
Count Grishnackh, smash or pass?
Smash. After all, Varg is one of my Apostles.

Quote from: Foggle on March 18, 2013, 02:52:27 PM
HEllo !!

my friend pablo tell me u have problems getting IT up i am here to give you coupon on product best viagra cialis (http://link) please your woman 4 half retail price free sample try viagara now (http://link) i would like to know penis does not become hard upon seeing nakked body get viagra cialis viagra here (http://link) plus free porn dvd
My child, you must learn how to expel your seed without the use of drugs. Viagra may make your member big, but it will not enlarge your dignity.

Quote from: Daikun on March 18, 2013, 05:38:59 PM
When is the Second Coming already? We've been waiting two thousand years; quit stalling!
But I have already come twice.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Spark Of Spirit on March 18, 2013, 06:14:34 PM
...
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Dr. Insomniac on March 18, 2013, 06:15:57 PM
Quote from: Spark Of Spirit on March 18, 2013, 06:14:34 PM
...
Please don't be shy. Shyness is for the Romans who crucified me.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Micki! on March 19, 2013, 11:24:21 AM
Hey Jesus..!

I always wondered what your view on Nazi's was like, seeing as they seemed to do quite alot of things in your name (or at least indirectly)
Also, ever played Spear of Destiny..?  :-X
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: talonmalon333 on March 19, 2013, 12:11:03 PM
What's everyone being so mean all about? Guys, this is Jesus.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Dr. Insomniac on March 19, 2013, 12:52:02 PM
Quote from: talonmalon333 on March 19, 2013, 12:11:03 PM
What's everyone being so mean all about? Guys, this is Jesus.
My thanks to you, youngling.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: The Shadow Gentleman on March 19, 2013, 05:26:59 PM
Quote from: Micki! on March 19, 2013, 11:24:21 AM
seeing as they seemed to do quite alot of things in your name (or at least indirectly)
???
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 05:43:22 PM
Youngling?  :hayguyz:

Quote from: Graywulf on March 19, 2013, 05:26:59 PM
Quote from: Micki! on March 19, 2013, 11:24:21 AM
seeing as they seemed to do quite alot of things in your name (or at least indirectly)
???
No idea.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Foggle on March 19, 2013, 05:52:21 PM
Quote from: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 05:43:22 PM
Quote from: Graywulf on March 19, 2013, 05:26:59 PM
Quote from: Micki! on March 19, 2013, 11:24:21 AM
seeing as they seemed to do quite alot of things in your name (or at least indirectly)
???
No idea.
A lot of people do bad things and claim it's because of Jesus and stuff.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 05:54:58 PM
Quote from: Foggle on March 19, 2013, 05:52:21 PM
Quote from: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 05:43:22 PM
Quote from: Graywulf on March 19, 2013, 05:26:59 PM
Quote from: Micki! on March 19, 2013, 11:24:21 AM
seeing as they seemed to do quite alot of things in your name (or at least indirectly)
???
No idea.
A lot of people do bad things and claim it's because of Jesus and stuff.
I think he was specifically asking about the Nazis, though.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: The Shadow Gentleman on March 19, 2013, 07:16:09 PM
Quote from: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 05:54:58 PM
Quote from: Foggle on March 19, 2013, 05:52:21 PM
Quote from: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 05:43:22 PM
Quote from: Graywulf on March 19, 2013, 05:26:59 PM
Quote from: Micki! on March 19, 2013, 11:24:21 AM
seeing as they seemed to do quite alot of things in your name (or at least indirectly)
???
No idea.
A lot of people do bad things and claim it's because of Jesus and stuff.
I think he was specifically asking about the Nazis, though.
Yeah, from what I can tell the Nazi's weren't exactly fans of orthodox Christianity.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Dr. Insomniac on March 19, 2013, 07:38:36 PM
These plateaus make me, Jesus, happy.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Micki! on March 19, 2013, 07:46:40 PM
Quote from: Graywulf on March 19, 2013, 07:16:09 PM
Quote from: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 05:54:58 PM
Quote from: Foggle on March 19, 2013, 05:52:21 PM
Quote from: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 05:43:22 PM
Quote from: Graywulf on March 19, 2013, 05:26:59 PM
Quote from: Micki! on March 19, 2013, 11:24:21 AM
seeing as they seemed to do quite alot of things in your name (or at least indirectly)
???
No idea.
A lot of people do bad things and claim it's because of Jesus and stuff.
I think he was specifically asking about the Nazis, though.
Yeah, from what I can tell the Nazi's weren't exactly fans of orthodox Christianity.

Geez guys :D, The Nazi regime was also very christian, and they had a thing against jews for more reasons than claiming them of being inferior, heck, they even wore a symbol translated "God with Us" Well, technically that's in gods name and not Jesus, but his opinion still interests me..!

It's hard having to explain this and not come off as incredibly offensive :srs:
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Avaitor on March 19, 2013, 07:48:56 PM
Hey Zeus, who do you think A is?
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Dr. Insomniac on March 19, 2013, 07:50:09 PM
Quote from: Avaitor on March 19, 2013, 07:48:56 PM
Hey Zeus, who do you think A is?
I, Jesus, do not associate with pagan religions.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Avaitor on March 19, 2013, 07:51:32 PM
Quote from: Dr. Insomniac on March 19, 2013, 07:50:09 PM
Quote from: Avaitor on March 19, 2013, 07:48:56 PM
Hey Zeus, who do you think A is?
I, Jesus, do not associate with pagan religions.
I take it you're not a fan of Pretty Little Liars.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Kiddington on March 19, 2013, 07:54:09 PM
can u grant me 3 wishes

1. butts
2. butts
3. butts

thx jdawg
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 08:05:40 PM
People watch Pretty Little Liars?

Quote from: Micki! on March 19, 2013, 07:46:40 PM
Quote from: Graywulf on March 19, 2013, 07:16:09 PM
Quote from: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 05:54:58 PM
Quote from: Foggle on March 19, 2013, 05:52:21 PM
Quote from: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 05:43:22 PM
Quote from: Graywulf on March 19, 2013, 05:26:59 PM
Quote from: Micki! on March 19, 2013, 11:24:21 AM
seeing as they seemed to do quite alot of things in your name (or at least indirectly)
???
No idea.
A lot of people do bad things and claim it's because of Jesus and stuff.
I think he was specifically asking about the Nazis, though.
Yeah, from what I can tell the Nazi's weren't exactly fans of orthodox Christianity.

Geez guys :D, The Nazi regime was also very christian, and they had a thing against jews for more reasons than claiming them of being inferior, heck, they even wore a symbol translated "God with Us" Well, technically that's in gods name and not Jesus, but his opinion still interests me..!

It's hard having to explain this and not come off as incredibly offensive :srs:
It was political more than anything. It used everything including beliefs of others to push their agenda further and their spiritual aspects were closer to paganism. While I don't doubt there were Christians in the Nazi regime, their leader's philosophy had little of anything to do with it except for political gain.

It's hard to avoid skirting the line in this thread, though. Not that I want this to be a serious thread. :P
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Dr. Insomniac on March 19, 2013, 08:16:59 PM
Quote from: Kiddington on March 19, 2013, 07:54:09 PM
can u grant me 3 wishes

1. butts
2. butts
3. butts

thx jdawg
You got to see my butt on Passion of the Christ. Bless.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Dr. Insomniac on March 19, 2013, 08:20:16 PM
Quote from: Avaitor on March 19, 2013, 07:51:32 PM
Quote from: Dr. Insomniac on March 19, 2013, 07:50:09 PM
Quote from: Avaitor on March 19, 2013, 07:48:56 PM
Hey Zeus, who do you think A is?
I, Jesus, do not associate with pagan religions.
I take it you're not a fan of Pretty Little Liars.
I, Jesus, do not approve of this new kind of family.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Avaitor on March 19, 2013, 08:21:29 PM
Quote from: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 08:05:40 PM
People watch Pretty Little Liars?
Spoiled white girls.

But not our lord and savior, I take it.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Dr. Insomniac on March 19, 2013, 08:23:43 PM
Quote from: Avaitor on March 19, 2013, 08:21:29 PM
Quote from: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 08:05:40 PM
People watch Pretty Little Liars?
Spoiled white girls.

But not our lord and savior, I take it.
I may be white and definitely not Jewish or Middle Eastern, but to be spoiled and require a tampon?
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 08:24:20 PM
I always get it confused with the Lying Game.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Avaitor on March 19, 2013, 08:25:55 PM
Quote from: Dr. Insomniac on March 19, 2013, 08:23:43 PM
Quote from: Avaitor on March 19, 2013, 08:21:29 PM
Quote from: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 08:05:40 PM
People watch Pretty Little Liars?
Spoiled white girls.

But not our lord and savior, I take it.
I may be white and definitely not Jewish or Middle Eastern, but to be spoiled and require a tampon?
Well they say that your dad is all whatever we interpret him to be, so what if I believe that he is a she?
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 08:31:51 PM
Quote from: Avaitor on March 19, 2013, 08:25:55 PM
Quote from: Dr. Insomniac on March 19, 2013, 08:23:43 PM
Quote from: Avaitor on March 19, 2013, 08:21:29 PM
Quote from: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 08:05:40 PM
People watch Pretty Little Liars?
Spoiled white girls.

But not our lord and savior, I take it.
I may be white and definitely not Jewish or Middle Eastern, but to be spoiled and require a tampon?
Well they say that your dad is all whatever we interpret him to be, so what if I believe that he is a she?
I, too, would like to hear Gnosticism expanded upon.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Micki! on March 19, 2013, 08:45:06 PM
I recall reading that you heal others by touching them of their diseases and illnesses, seeing as you were just a human yourself, and very vulnerable to physical damage, you must undoubtedly also have become sick every now and then...

My question is, where did you touch yourself upon feeling ill..?
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Dr. Insomniac on March 19, 2013, 08:46:11 PM
Quote from: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 08:31:51 PM
Quote from: Avaitor on March 19, 2013, 08:25:55 PM
Quote from: Dr. Insomniac on March 19, 2013, 08:23:43 PM
Quote from: Avaitor on March 19, 2013, 08:21:29 PM
Quote from: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 08:05:40 PM
People watch Pretty Little Liars?
Spoiled white girls.

But not our lord and savior, I take it.
I may be white and definitely not Jewish or Middle Eastern, but to be spoiled and require a tampon?
Well they say that your dad is all whatever we interpret him to be, so what if I believe that he is a she?
I, too, would like to hear Gnosticism expanded upon.
My dad cannot control me. I, Jesus, do what I, Jesus, want.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Dr. Insomniac on March 19, 2013, 08:48:14 PM
Quote from: Micki! on March 19, 2013, 08:45:06 PM
I recall reading that you heal others by touching them of their diseases and illnesses, seeing as you were just a human yourself, and very vulnerable to physical damage, you must undoubtedly also have become sick every now and then...

My question is, where did you touch yourself upon feeling ill..?
I pull out my right eye and reveal a zone that I rub in order to heal my sacred form.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Avaitor on March 19, 2013, 09:01:16 PM
Quote from: Dr. Insomniac on March 19, 2013, 08:46:11 PM
Quote from: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 08:31:51 PM
Quote from: Avaitor on March 19, 2013, 08:25:55 PM
Quote from: Dr. Insomniac on March 19, 2013, 08:23:43 PM
Quote from: Avaitor on March 19, 2013, 08:21:29 PM
Quote from: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 08:05:40 PM
People watch Pretty Little Liars?
Spoiled white girls.

But not our lord and savior, I take it.
I may be white and definitely not Jewish or Middle Eastern, but to be spoiled and require a tampon?
Well they say that your dad is all whatever we interpret him to be, so what if I believe that he is a she?
I, too, would like to hear Gnosticism expanded upon.
My dad cannot control me. I, Jesus, do what I, Jesus, want.
So, did satellite give up the ghost too soon?
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Dr. Insomniac on March 19, 2013, 09:07:27 PM
Quote from: Avaitor on March 19, 2013, 09:01:16 PM
Quote from: Dr. Insomniac on March 19, 2013, 08:46:11 PM
Quote from: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 08:31:51 PM
Quote from: Avaitor on March 19, 2013, 08:25:55 PM
Quote from: Dr. Insomniac on March 19, 2013, 08:23:43 PM
Quote from: Avaitor on March 19, 2013, 08:21:29 PM
Quote from: Spark Of Spirit on March 19, 2013, 08:05:40 PM
People watch Pretty Little Liars?
Spoiled white girls.

But not our lord and savior, I take it.
I may be white and definitely not Jewish or Middle Eastern, but to be spoiled and require a tampon?
Well they say that your dad is all whatever we interpret him to be, so what if I believe that he is a she?
I, too, would like to hear Gnosticism expanded upon.
My dad cannot control me. I, Jesus, do what I, Jesus, want.
So, did satellite give up the ghost too soon?
If you mean a satellite that I will crash into someone's house, then yes.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Kiddington on March 20, 2013, 04:43:34 PM
hey jdawg i got three more wishes i need granted kthx

1. a butt 2 touch
2. another butt 2 touch
3. a 3rd and/or 4th butt 2 touch

thnx bro
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Dr. Insomniac on March 20, 2013, 11:14:00 PM
Here are all the butts you can touch.

(https://animationrevelation.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.publicdomainpictures.net%2Fpictures%2F30000%2Fvelka%2Fcigarette-butts-1330858848TKx.jpg&hash=fcde10ca8c947730a5325e16d18671ac10a213c5)
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Micki! on March 24, 2013, 06:45:58 AM
Hey Jesus, say if we, humans etc, did another bummer and such, would you die for us again..?
Just wanna know what cards we're holding you know, would be convenient to know and all..!
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Dr. Insomniac on March 24, 2013, 10:08:18 AM
Quote from: Micki! on March 24, 2013, 06:45:58 AM
Hey Jesus, say if we, humans etc, did another bummer and such, would you die for us again..?
Just wanna know what cards we're holding you know, would be convenient to know and all..!
No.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Peanutbutter on May 09, 2014, 06:53:01 AM
So just how does the walk on water thing work?
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Dr. Insomniac on May 09, 2014, 07:13:33 AM
(https://animationrevelation.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fattaleuntold.files.wordpress.com%2F2013%2F07%2Fjesus-15490.jpg&hash=b23ce8fe1f924913d5f41177b5bf2874d1e6d5aa)

Because it turns out that the body of Christ is oil, and is therefore less dense than water.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Micki! on May 09, 2014, 08:55:02 AM
No wonder Americans love jesus so much  .3.
Title: Re: Ask Jesus
Post by: Peanutbutter on May 15, 2014, 03:19:18 PM
Quote from: Dr. Insomniac on May 09, 2014, 07:13:33 AM
(https://animationrevelation.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fattaleuntold.files.wordpress.com%2F2013%2F07%2Fjesus-15490.jpg&hash=b23ce8fe1f924913d5f41177b5bf2874d1e6d5aa)

Because it turns out that the body of Christ is oil, and is therefore less dense than water.




Who gave you those sunglasses, and where do I get them? If it was from Lucifer, forget about it.  :sweat: