Author Topic: Amazon Movie Reviews  (Read 412 times)

Daikun

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Amazon Movie Reviews
« on: December 28, 2014, 08:05:18 PM »
I usually don't care much for Twitter, but this is the funniest damn thing I've seen in a long time. Screencaps of genuine movie "reviews" from total morons on Amazon.

https://twitter.com/AmznMovieRevws

Post your faves!

talonmalon333

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Re: Amazon Movie Reviews
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2014, 09:09:32 PM »
http://www.amazon.com/Cloverdale-Fresh-Whole-Rabbit/dp/B00012182G

Just pick any review there. That item being sold almost seems like a joke, and so pretty much reviewer responds to it appropriately and hilariously.

I especially love the dry sense of humor in this review.

Quote
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars NOT what expected., July 12, 2014
By Rico - See all my reviews
This review is from: Fresh Whole Rabbit (Misc.)
I was delighted to discover this product whilst browsing online for a birthday gift for my youngest daughter, who has recently turned six and has long been bugging her mother and I for a pet. As a busy father it pleased me that, in the modern age, a "fresh whole rabbit" could be crated up in a tiny, airtight box and the little fellow flown direct to me for my convenience, saving me much of the trouble associated with fatherhood.

Although irksome that no individual pictures were attached (other than that of what appears to be a rather old, sleeping rabbit), it seemed to good to be true, especially when I learned it could be delivered in time for my daughter's party, to be opened and enjoyed by both the eager birthday girl herself and her rabble of little friends. However, much to my daughter's horror upon opening her much awaited, rabbit-shaped gift, she discovered what I now, after much consideration, believe to be - not a fresh or whole rabbit - but rather a dead rabbit - thus, decidedly neither fresh, nor, vitally....whole. Perhaps the vendors could consider selling this item under the heading "deceased rabbit" or "rabbit corpse" to ensure no future confusion amongst the realms of well-meaning, loving fathers, such as myself.

Hysterical tears ensued, divorce was threatened and several children fled the house never to be seen again. More importantly, despite much coaxing I can't get the little fellow to hop around the hutch I built for him in the garden and, after a week, he is starting to smell (which, I grant you, is something that rabbits naturally do, but the neighbours are starting to complain). Mind you, this rabbit has proved most economical, as I have not had to replace the carrots and lettuce leaves in his bowl once since we got him. Must be on a diet.

My wife has since left me, claiming she is "taking the children to her mother's house" as this is just too much after the "fresh whole Pony" I ordered for my eldest daughter's birthday last September. Why does no good, fatherly deed go unpunished? On the plus side, week old rabbit remains delicious. Thoroughly recommended as a snack to gnaw on whilst sitting on the sofa in one's underwear, watching football re-runs at 3 in the morning after one's wife has left one.