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Author: Marquis

Steven Universe: The Gem Shatters

Steven Universe: The Gem Shatters

Hiatuses withstanding, Steven Universe is trudging through its fourth season now, full of adventurous twists like Pearl getting a girlfriend who looks like Rose, Garnet singing another song about feelings, the Gems buying Greg a pack of adult diapers, Onion having friends… one of whom is named Garbanzo, yeah, I can’t hold up the facade any longer. Steven Universe has been challenging for me. Not emotionally challenging like “Oh, Peridot doesn’t know how to fit in with human society. My…

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Fall 2016 Anime Clusterfuck: Pray For Hiroyuki-san

Fall 2016 Anime Clusterfuck: Pray For Hiroyuki-san

ClassicaLoid Well, that was cute in a “drunk freshmen try to re-enact I, Claudius” way. So coming off the heels of Osomatsu-san, director Yoichi Fujita gives us a silly anime about classical musicians. It’s like Vocaloids, except they’re not. I don’t even know what they have in common with Vocaloids to warrant the title, but moving on. It’s one of those ideas that you crack as a bad joke when you’re bored, but then somebody decides that should be an…

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Fall 2016 Anime Clusterfuck: Dicks Out For Buranki

Fall 2016 Anime Clusterfuck: Dicks Out For Buranki

Greetings, readers, breeders, and those who mentally peaked at the age of 16. Welcome to this season’s preview guide. The Ancient Magus’ Bride In what must be the setup for the strangest BBC 4 sitcom yet, there lives somewhere in rural England la talking goat litch named Ainsworth, a talking dog/guy named Ruth, some Rozen Maiden cosplayer named Silky who says nothing, and a random normal Japanese girl named Chise. Chise is there to apparently learn the wizarding ways from…

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Angel’s Egg: I Prefer Mine Scrambled

Angel’s Egg: I Prefer Mine Scrambled

Angel’s Egg has always been something I’ve been meaning to check off my anime to-do list for quite a while. Every anime reviewer I listen to tells me this is a great film in desperate need for more attention, while also saying the typical “it’s not for everyone” or “it’s really arthouse” statements to warn the unprepared away. And I think that’s stupid, because Angel’s Egg doesn’t hold your hand so why should its fans do the same? If you…

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Summer 2016 Anime Clusterfuck: If I See That Goddamn Rabbit One More Time

Summer 2016 Anime Clusterfuck: If I See That Goddamn Rabbit One More Time

91 Days Ah, the Prohibition Era. A wonderful time for many, but only if you’re a creator of course. Where others see blood, some see art. Endless classics have been influenced by this period, from The Untouchables to Baccano. So much violence, betrayal, and chaos all because of some booze. The stories and madness that take place during Prohibition are enough to rival Jacobean drama in their bloodshed and intricacy. Just thinking about it puts that moonshine aroma in your…

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Summer 2016 Anime Clusterfuck: Bert-serk and Ernie-serk

Summer 2016 Anime Clusterfuck: Bert-serk and Ernie-serk

Berserk (2016) So I was digging ’round the web looking for something to pass the time, when I found an old Playstation 1 game called Berserk: The Phantom Pain Revengeance Part 2: Return Of The Patriotic Revenge-Eater: A Hideo Kojima Game. As a sequel to a cult classic, it’s only natural this series would fall into obscurity. Which in retrospect is mostly deserved. Putting aside the fact that the animation hasn’t aged well at all, this game is a slow,…

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Summer 2016 Anime Clusterfuck: Sponsored by Juicy Juice

Summer 2016 Anime Clusterfuck: Sponsored by Juicy Juice

[For this Clusterfuck, I’m planning on cutting them into parts because I think readers would find 10 2000-word articles easier to stomach than 1 20000-word article. So when the word counts go over 2000 words, that will be the time to go to part 2 and so on.] Bananya – Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort D. Gray-Man Hallow What is it with long-defunct anime adaptions getting new seasons all of a sudden? Yes, D. Gray-Man has returned after an eight-year…

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Mother May(oiga) Sleep with Danger?

Mother May(oiga) Sleep with Danger?

Hello, harlots of all genders. I bring your attention to an anime from the year of our lord 2016, Mayoiga. It is not a good anime, but it is an inspiring one. Watching merely one episode will affirm all of your life decisions, for as bad as any of them could possibly be, at least they aren’t as thoughtless as what the characters in this show are doing. No matter what horrible acts you’re committing while reading this, at least…

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Spring 2016 Clusterfuck: Capitalist Japanimations of the Interest [The Retard Sponge Factory]

Spring 2016 Clusterfuck: Capitalist Japanimations of the Interest [The Retard Sponge Factory]

Guten tag, my working-class brethren. May you insist on taking a bite of our Eastern Animation First Impressions, yes? Ace Attorney (Turnabout Courtroom) AUTHOR‘S NOTE: The Phoenix Wright franchise is notorious for its rather overzealous NA localization which transplanted the series from a Near Future Tokyo to a magical fantasy land version of Los Angeles where World War II never occurred. Although Crunchyroll does provide subs with the US names spliced in, I watched it with the original Japanese names and…

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12 Days of Anime: We Burlesque Bears

12 Days of Anime: We Burlesque Bears

You know what was one of the most polarizing anime this year? Yuri Kuma Arashi. One faction thought it was a wonderful take on lesbian relationships both grizzly and calm. Another smeared this anime as nothing but pandering fluff for the creator to masturbate to. You can say this show either touches upon many facets of the human identity, or just uses them as a platform to show naked girls licking each other. Or you can be a stuffy little…

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