For Whoever Asked For It On Twitter: I Reviewed Cyberbully

Foggle · July 24, 2011, 04:50:45 PM

Yes, I watched that entire fucking ABC Family piece of shit, just for you! Please enjoy the 5+ page review and first piece of original content for my new blog, everyone!

http://cynicalcboss.blogspot.com/2011/07/cyberbully-review.html

Avaitor · July 24, 2011, 04:56:08 PM

Reading this now. I like the idea of this movie, since cyberbullying is becoming a serious, unnecessary problem, but I don't think that an ABC Family movie was the right vehicle to promote awareness. I'll probably comment more as I go along.

DW was voiced by a boy?

Foggle · July 24, 2011, 05:02:48 PM

Quote from: Avaitor on July 24, 2011, 04:56:08 PM
Reading this now. I like the idea of this movie, since cyberbullying is becoming a serious, unnecessary problem, but I don't think that an ABC Family movie was the right vehicle to promote awareness. I'll probably comment more as I go along.

Totally agreed on all accounts. The movie blows a serious problem out of proportion way too much to be taken seriously, the reasons behind the bullying/plot twists are asinine, and the protagonist is too stupid to do many of the obvious things she could have done to improve her overall situation. All the students are in high school, but they act like middle-schoolers, which hurts the movie even more. It's just unrealistic, melodramatic, silly, and poorly written.

QuoteDW was voiced by a boy?

From 2007 until 2010, apparently.

Dr. Insomniac · July 24, 2011, 05:07:17 PM

Actually, it seems that all of the actors who played DW have been boys. The hell's with that casting decision?

But yeah, hilarious review. Love it when Made-For-TV movies try to interpret teenage life.

Avaitor · July 24, 2011, 05:11:20 PM

Yeah, that sounds like a weak movie. Promising idea, no motivation or purpose to make it as powerful as it could be. I'm not surprised that Emily Osment did a decent job in the movie however, since she's the only person who ever tried in Hannah Montana. I'm sure she'll do something better in the next few years.

Great review. I cracked up a lot here, as I usually do with your reviews.

Foggle · July 24, 2011, 05:50:54 PM

Thanks, guys! That took me about 3 days (on and off, of course) to write.

Quote from: Dr. Insomniac on July 24, 2011, 05:07:17 PM
Actually, it seems that all of the actors who played DW have been boys. The hell's with that casting decision?

That's... really strange. I wonder why they'd do that.

Spark Of Spirit · July 24, 2011, 05:55:00 PM

If we learned anything from this movie it's that teenage girls are only motivated by two things. Teenage boys and fashion.

Hilarious review.

Avaitor · July 24, 2011, 05:56:13 PM

Oh, and Daft sends you his props for this review. He watched it as well, and thought that the acting was terrible.

Any idea what's next?

Foggle · July 24, 2011, 06:13:44 PM

Quote from: Avaitor on July 24, 2011, 05:56:13 PM
Oh, and Daft sends you his props for this review. He watched it as well, and thought that the acting was terrible.

Well, the acting certainly wasn't good, but it definitely surpassed my expectations.

QuoteAny idea what's next?

Review of the first Higurashi Kira episode, then I'll get back to work on the next part of my Kiba article. Probably just some random reviews and stuff about life for my personal blog, but I do plan to write something to the extent of The Top 10 Fetishes That Scare The Shit Out Of Me eventually.

Anyone have any review requests? Can be anything from any form of media, as long as it's not some huge 1000 page novel, 50 episode TV series, or 100 hour JRPG.

Quote from: Desensitized on July 24, 2011, 05:55:00 PM
If we learned anything from this movie it's that teenage girls are only motivated by two things. Teenage boys and fashion.

And we never even get to see her shoes!

Rynnec · July 24, 2011, 06:18:14 PM

Reading this review taught me something: That the whole "ambigously lesbian best friend character who screws her best friend/not-love interest over because she has a creepy guardian angel complex" thing really doesn't work without a supernatural edge to it.

At least it ends with a hidden scene of them tearfully making up, getting together, and proceding to have hot lesbian BDSM sex, right? Right?

Foggle · July 24, 2011, 06:23:25 PM

Quote from: Rynnec on July 24, 2011, 06:18:14 PM
At least it ends with a hidden scene of them tearfully making up, getting together, and proceding to have hot lesbian BDSM sex, right? Right?

See for yourself.

Rynnec · July 24, 2011, 06:31:50 PM

Avaitor · July 24, 2011, 08:59:52 PM

Foggle, I remembered something that I want you to tackle.

I'd do it myself... but that would require rewatching it.

Daxdiv · July 24, 2011, 10:03:58 PM

This was a thing that existed. Thank god I don't watch the ABC Family channel at all. That movie should have used Rynnec's ending, that would have made for a more enjoyable payoff, since in that review, I thought that Samantha wanted to have sex with Taylor all this time.

Great review and as always, laughs were had by all!

Kiddington · July 25, 2011, 12:45:56 AM

What did we learn from this movie? Teenage angst = srs business.

Nah, but really; great review. Sounds like you have an even higher pain tolerance for Hollywood-induced torture than I do. God knows I couldn't sit through 10-minutes worth of My Future Boyfriend, and that even had Fred Willard in it! This one sounds absolutely dreadful; they couldn't even get a token b-list actor to pop in for a cameo or two (although, by the sound of things, the acting wasn't the problem).

The REAL moral of the story here? ABC Family blows. But, 'ya know... we already knew that.

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For Whoever Asked For It On Twitter: I Reviewed Cyberbully