Ensatsu-Ken's Official Self-Criticism Thread

[talonmalon333]

To your first point, I pretty much have the same problem, so you're at least not alone on that one.

And to your 2nd point, at least we can both say that we've come a LONG way since back in our days at TV.com.

You're right there, on both accounts (Though I think your long posts ultimately succeed at getting your points across, whereas mine are just a mess with maybe a point hidden somewhere in there. ). It just hit me how long ago TV.com was for all of us...

I think I owe the biggest apology to you, E-K. In the early days of Animation Revelation I feel I've gone beyond "hot headed" and just became purely obnoxious, like with all those PMs I used to send you, how I would instigate trouble, take our debates way too seriously, and all of that. At this point, I feel like it's fairly distant now, and I've long since come to look back and see just how immature I tended to act. Hopefully I've really gotten better over the last few years, as better as I like to think I've gotten.

[talonmalon333]

<3

AR: One moderately-sized happy family.

<3 That's exactly why this place is great. We don't have the biggest community, but the people we've got here are all cool. Whereas I've come on gone with some other forums on the internet, I always come back to this one. If I could point to one forum that's quality > quantity in terms of forum members, it would be this one.

[Dr. Ensatsu-ken]

I actually enjoy discussing things with you because you don't come off as a jerk. Or at least I know you well enough by now to know when you're serious or kidding. Even when we don't agree I tend to see where you're coming from and try not be overly annoying about my position. I realize I fail at that sometimes, however. 

That's the thing with this board is that even when I disagree with someone on here we (usually) seem to be able to seriously discuss it without resorting to personal attacks or dismissal of trains of thought.

To be honest, that's probably why this is the only message board I post at anymore.

Yeah, when I think about it, despite our arguments in the past we have always been able to have a mutual respect for each others' opinions, and I don't just mean between you and me, but between most of us here in general. I attribute that the fact that this is a small board with more personalized and well thought-out discussions, so we have all gotten to know each other pretty well and can generally sense when someone means what they say or not during their more heated moments. This board is actually a really great way for me to relieve my stress by talking about things that I like. There is no other board on the Internet where I could do this. In fact, most other places have tons of users who I probably don't even want to know better, and many things I read from ignorant posters can downright infuriate me, which doesn't exactly help my stress.

I'm just glad to have this board around. Its WAY better than TV.com, and while I've never been an avid Toon Zone member, I can safely say that this board is far more friendly and interesting than that board ever was for me.

I also like how each member on this board seems to have a lot of knowledge on subjects that I actually give a shit about when it comes to this forum. Desensitized is pretty much our resident classic video game expert, and I love having members interested in many of the classics. Foggle is a great person to talk to in terms of video games and anime, among other things. Avaitor is the guy I tend to go to when I want to have discussions about movies since he's probably the biggest film buff on this board. And of course, Dr. Insomniac seems to just have a huge knowledge-base about movies, anime, and animated series in general, and I like how he's never actually shown to look down on any of my opinions.

Talon is a good old buddy of mine from way back on TV.com and shares the same enthusiasm for YYH that I do, which is a big deal to me, and pretty much every other member on this board is really interesting to have conversations with in one subject or another. Its no wonder I'm always so fucking addicted to this place. A fun fact is that I actually spend far more time on this message board than on any other Internet website at all.

[Silverstar]

Let's see, where to start?

Like E-K, I hate when people over-explain things, and the fact that I find myself doing that frequently kind of pisses me off.

I tend to be unnecessarily harsh on things I don't like, and tend to be annoyingly praising of things I do like. Those from TV. com already know this about me.

Over the years I've developed a reputation for being overly critical, negative, egotistical and mean-spirited, which I hate because I'm nothing like that in real life. I'm actually a very chill, good natured person who likes to laugh, but I'm also a very factual person who wants his opinions to be taken seriously, and on some of the forums I've been on I'm reluctant to joke on because the other people there either can't take a joke or simply don't recognize a joke when they hear it. Often when I try to joke on Toon Zone I either piss someone off or get a poke or an infraction from a mod for insulting another member. So I often forgo the jokes in favor of the cold hard facts. But even when I've politely disagreed with someone, I've been accused of being "passive-aggressive" (again this was mainly on TZ.) Someone on either TV Tome or TV.com once referred to me as "a pissed off prick", and I've been desperately trying to shed that image ever since. For a long time I've refrained from voicing my opinions out of fear of causing a shit-storm.

For a good while (as recently as about a month or so ago) it's been brought to my attention that I've been carrying a huge amount of negativity on the boards I'm on and have been holding a lot of grudges against other members; no one here, but on the other forums I'm on, Toon Zone in particular. So around late February or March I've been trying to re-invent myself to be more lighthearted, more positive and more fun. I'm trying to not be so critical of others and I've been trying to inject more humor and fun into my posts while sticking to the 'truth bombs'. I'm tired of being seen as the no-fun poster whom everybody hates.

[Nel_Annette]

I... I just noticed that your name is Ensatsu-ken, not Ensatsu-kun.

And for that I apologize. 

[talonmalon333]

After the talk about our whole group here and TV.com, know what this thread has made me realize? I've known some of you guys since I was only 15 years old... I mean, that hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm 22 now. It's been seven years. That means I've spent roughly 1/3 of my entire life with you guys.

Quite a long time.

[Dr. Insomniac]

I'm a hell of a lot more abrasive than I should be, and that has cost me a great deal of potential relationships or personal gains. It's a bit like Doakes from Dexter, where I have a gut-feeling that my way is the right way, yet can't express the matter politely or even subtly.

[Rynnec]

I'm a hell of a lot more abrasive than I should be, and that has cost me a great deal of potential relationships or personal gains. It's a bit like Doakes from Dexter, where I have a gut-feeling that my way is the right way, yet can't express the matter politely or even subtly.

Same. I have trouble expressing matters in general, really.

I am lazy as fuck.

This too.

[Nel_Annette]

I let people's snide remarks towards me cut way deeper than they should. I usually hold grudges for a long-ass time, even for things that the other person would have forgotten a long time ago.

I am far too lazy for my own good, to the point that it has hurt me in college multiple times.

I constantly swing between a superiority complex and an inferiority complex, and it makes me feel like a coward half the time when I can't back myself up.

I've been rejected and hurt by women so much throughout high school and college that I actually kind of get off of leading some woman I know likes me on, and then turning her down before anything can get serious as some sort of pathetic revenge against all the women in my life who said no. That and I find that I'm genuinely uninterested in most women beyond their bodies and obsess over the sexual aspects of a relationship too much.

That last one's been kind of digging at me for the last 6 years now. But as I said in the other thread, all the women in my life I legitimately would like to date (because they really are fun to talk too, and/or we have the same interests) are already taken or just not interested. It gets a bit aggravating after a while.

[Avaitor]

That last one's been kind of digging at me for the last 6 years now. But as I said in the other thread, all the women in my life I legitimately would like to date (because they really are fun to talk too, and/or we have the same interests) are already taken or just not interested. It gets a bit aggravating after a while.

Yep, that's basically my love life in the past few years, myself.

[Kiddington]

That and I find that I'm genuinely uninterested in most women beyond their bodies and obsess over the sexual aspects of a relationship too much.

As sad as it is for me to admit this... I'm pretty much the exact same way.

I came to the conclusion a few months ago (after having been on a few dates again following a long dry spell) that I'd make a terrible boyfriend, which is pretty much why I've all but given up at this point (and probably why it's for the best that I haven't been in an actual long-term relationship to this point). Not in the sense that I would physically harm anyone (God knows I wouldn't, I'm not that kinda guy at all), but in the sense that I'm way too selfish in how my spend my time, who I spend my time with, and things of that nature. I don't listen very well, I tend to monopolize conversations with women... I don't know why I do these things, I just can't help it. Really, the aspects of a relationship beyond sex and maybe cuddling (physical intimacy, basically) bear no interest to me whatsoever. I know that sounds like a terrible thing to say aloud, and probably makes me come off as a colossal douche, but I guess that's just the way I'm wired. I'm not a romantic at all, I'm generally disgusted by the notion of PDA's... I dunno, man.

You know, I was really feeling lonely and bad about myself for a long time there (you guys remember, I'm sure), and honestly, looking back on it, I have no idea how and why that came about. Beyond basic sexual desires, the things that come with a relationship just don't do it for me. I've always naturally been a loner (yes, I have friends, but I still generally prefer to keep to myself the majority of the time), and I think it's probably best, at least for now, to stay that way. Unless she's the absolute perfect match for me (and I can still hold out hope for that), I just can't see myself being happy with too many people.

That last one's been kind of digging at me for the last 6 years now. But as I said in the other thread, all the women in my life I legitimately would like to date (because they really are fun to talk too, and/or we have the same interests) are already taken or just not interested. It gets a bit aggravating after a while.

This as well, to a certain degree.

That's another thing, to which I've alluded to above; I'm extremely picky. I've been on my share of dates the past couple of months here - all of them seemingly worse than the last - and I just cannot see myself "settling" for someone (and this go way beyond looks, trust me; I'm not THAT superficial. I can't stand having to force a conversation with someone; if we can't even talk about things that we both supposedly like, how can this be expected to work?). I suppose in my position, with some of my character flaws (internal and external), I shouldn't be this way, but it is what it is I guess. I know what I want, and I'd rather not settle.

Welp... now that we've got all that out in the open, try not to think any less of me okay? 

[Silverstar]

Really, the aspects of a relationship beyond sex and maybe cuddling (physical intimacy, basically) bear no interest to me whatsoever. I know that sounds like a terrible thing to say aloud, and probably makes me come off as a colossal douche, but I guess that's just the way I'm wired. I'm not a romantic at all, I'm generally disgusted by the notion of PDA's... I dunno, man.

You know, I was really feeling lonely and bad about myself for a long time there (you guys remember, I'm sure), and honestly, looking back on it, I have no idea how and why that came about. Beyond basic sexual desires, the things that come with a relationship just don't do it for me. I've always naturally been a loner (yes, I have friends, but I still generally prefer to keep to myself the majority of the time), and I think it's probably best, at least for now, to stay that way. Unless she's the absolute perfect match for me (and I can still hold out hope for that), I just can't see myself being happy with too many people.

I'm extremely picky. I just cannot see myself "settling" for someone (and this go way beyond looks, trust me; I'm not THAT superficial. I can't stand having to force a conversation with someone; if we can't even talk about things that we both supposedly like, how can this be expected to work?). I suppose in my position, with some of my character flaws (internal and external), I shouldn't be this way, but it is what it is I guess. I know what I want, and I'd rather not settle.

Welp... now that we've got all that out in the open, try not to think any less of me okay? 

I'm sure not going to turn my nose up at you or anyone else here. The unique way I'm wired, I'm hardy in a position to cast stones.

I've never been interested in romance or romantic relationships, at least not beyond the base desires. Not even as a kid. Dating and the like have never been a priority to me. It's like that portion of my brain is just stuck on OFF. Also, I'm extremely particular and my tastes are very eclectic. Nearly all of my cousins and peers are or have been married and have kids, and I just hold no interest in that sort of thing. I know my folks and aunts and uncles probably think that there's something seriously wrong with me, but that's just the way I'm hooked up. Unless I meet "The One" (assuming such a person even exists for me) I don't even waste time and energy thinking about pursuing a relationship. I'm not about to settle, and I'd rather be alone and be who I am (whatever you call what I am) than get myself locked into a relationship that I'm not feeling just so the public at large and my family won't consider me weird, 'cause I already know I'm weird.

[TheEclecticDude]

I often let the entertainment factor of stuff I watch get in the way of the quality and substance.

I am often under-explained-I'm too succinct something (then again my brain is wired that way-to distill knowledge down to the basic and simplest meaning)