Let's Play....er Read The Hunger Games (an experiment in literary criticism).

[Spark Of Spirit]

I have no idea. The epilogue was like two minutes long.

[Lord Dalek]

Oh yeah, Peeta kept his leg in the movie, right?

He did.

[Lord Dalek]

CHAPTER FIVE: MAGICLESS MISERY TOUR

Peeta is pissed and I mean piiiiiisssssssed. Katniss now has to explain everything about Snow's threat and the guilt as to what has just happened begins to crush them like cheap posies. Peeta has the charm for cameras but from this point forward he wants to be kept in the Haymitch/Katniss loop. That may make things more difficult.

The whirlwind tour of Panem continues, our tributes making canned speeches, getting dirty angry looks from spectators (especially in Districts 1 and 2), and generally hustled arround by armed Peacekeepers. One thing is we do get the name of the douche that killed Rue... Marvel. See everybody! DC won eventually!

The tour reaches the second to last stop, the Capitol. It is agreed that Peeta will propose to Katniss live on the Ceasar Flickerman Show. He does so and the audience goes wild. Everything seems to be going well....then President Snow shows up.

NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

[Lord Dalek]

CHAPTER SIX: Lambs to the Slaughter

In a bizarre, sick, twisted way Katniss is actually relieved at her apparant failure. Now she can concentrate on ways to escape and survive with her loved ones in the wilderness. Exactly how this is supposed to work is a question that will probably never be answered so I'm not bothering to dwell on it that much.

Katniss and Peeta are then wisked away to a banquet in their honor at Snow's mansion. Here Katniss is introduced to Plutarch Heavensbee, the replacement for Seneca Crane. Plutarch doesn't seem to take his job particularly seriously and that's a concern for Katniss, after all, she was responsible for the last guy's abrupt demise and everything.

The following day, the group returns home to District 12. Its the day of the Harvest Festival but the celebrations are bigger this year because the Capitol is fronting the bill. Katniss should be happy but she isn't, because she's just seen District 8 fired upon by the Capitol Peacemakers like on television. Her failure is being broadcast for all to see.

All of this brings me to the pattern in this book. Its interesting because where the previous pattern happened on a chapter by chapter basis, this one is far more bipolar.  Katniss starts each chapter feeling ok then something shitty happens...then she gets over it...then another shitty thing happens...and so on and so forth. We'll see if it bucks this trend when its time for the Quarter Quell but I'm not holding my breath.

[Dr. Insomniac]

If it weren't for the obligatory "Capitol is evil!" moments, I'd have thought these chapters were when Katniss was PMSing or something.

[Foggle]

This book sounds really boring so far.

[Lord Dalek]

CHAPTER SEVEN: The Passion of the Gale

So yeah if you've been following the pattern, I'll just break it down for you...

KATNISS RECOVERS FROM END OF SHIT: With the knowledge that blood is running in the streets of District 8, Katniss goes to see Gale for the first time in a few weeks (Victory Tour and all that). The two swap stories over roast bird. Gale isn't too happy with how Katniss has gone about getting herself engaged to Twirpy McNoLeg, despite Katniss's constant pleading that its just for show. Nevertheless he's willing to go ahead with her escape plan anyway... until she tells him about the footage coming out of District 8.

KATNISS STEPS INTO SHIT YET AGAIN: You see Gale's got this whole "occupy Panem", French Revolution thing going for him right now. He wants blood in the streets so that Districts like 5 and up are galvinized against the EVIL CAPITOL!!!!!!!1(TM) Katniss in his opinion has become nothing more than a lap dog for Snow's totalitarian dictatorship. In that regard he refuses to associate with a Capitol byproduct and leaves Katniss both confused and heartbroken. I know I've said it too many times so far in these books but damnit Gale, why couldn't YOU have been the main character???

Meanwhile back to Stupidville... Katniss returns home and meets Peeta on the way. Peeta surprisingly is cool about running away but doesn't think that in her heart Katniss is wiling to do so. This confuses Katniss to no end, of course she's willing to go through with it, she proposed it in the first place right? Right?? Right??? Before I can answer that question, there's this little thing going on in the town square....

A large group has gathered around. One that does NOT (repeat DOES NOT) want Katniss to witness it. Its a public flogging of a known troublemaker. A new Head Peacekeeper has been flown in to administer the punishment. The accused is strapped to a post with his arms stretched out. He is beaten repeatedly with a long leather whip. To Katniss' horror, the accused is Gale.

...going with the whole Christ metaphor THIS early eh Collins? Oooook..... 

[Dr. Insomniac]

How many teenagers are actually interested in the politics of the book? Really?

[Lord Dalek]

Haven't you heard??? Politics is the new shipping!

[Foggle]

Haven't you heard??? Politics is the new shipping!

It wouldn't surprise me.

[Dr. Insomniac]

Haven't you heard??? Politics is the new shipping!

Yeah, teenager girls totally dig shit like The West Wing.

[Lord Dalek]

CHAPTER EIGHT: A Night in Sickbay

Gale gets whipped some more and Katniss is forced to pull a Mataoka, getting some lash action as well. The new Peacekeeper, one Romulus Thread, is prepared to kick the shit out of Katniss when Haymitch saves her (of all the days he picked to be be sober... ). The two drag Gale back to Katniss's home. Katniss's mother was of course a nurse/midwife back in the day and she is still counted on to preform such tasks as they are necessary. 

What follows is a short chapter filled with grieving parents, Katniss being a whiny moany bitch (OH WAIT THAT'S EVERY CHAPTER!!!), and Mom doing some weird herbal weirdness. COUNTRY MEDICINE!!!

Eventually during the night, Gale opens his eyes while Katniss is doing her stupid vigil on him. He's not going anywhere... Boofrickenurns.

[Spark Of Spirit]

.... *cough*

[Avaitor]

So when does this Finnick that Robert Pattinson is apparently going to play show up?

[Lord Dalek]

So when does this Finnick that Robert Pattinson is apparently going to play show up?

Part II I think.

Seriously? "Twilight Sparkle" is playing him in the movie?