Let's Play....er Read The Hunger Games (an experiment in literary criticism).

[Rynnec]

I'm really wondering how they're going to adapt this. The worst part is that apparently the final book is substantially worse than this.

How did this series become popular again?

Because it's "deep" and shit.

[Kiddington]

There's a part of me that almost wants to actually see the movie now, just to see what kind of spin they really put on these. Surely it couldn't be any worse than the book... rig... oh, who I am kidding. 

[Spark Of Spirit]

If you call it a love triangle, most fans will try to maim you. But they'll talk about how they love Peeniss (hohoho).

NOW I get why she named them that.

Collins, you are sharp!

[Lord Dalek]

Cloud
Seifer
Tidus
Cecil
Zidane
Vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan

[Kiddington]

Stevearino
Bubsy
Adamm
Mortimer James
Chip Skylark
Superman 64

...wait, what were we doing? Oh right, rejected names. Yeah, these work.

[Spark Of Spirit]

Cloud
Seifer
Tidus
Cecil
Zidane
Vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan

Squall looks like he could even fit right in as is.

Wow, Hunger Games is basically a Final Fantasy game without the fantasy part.

[Dr. Insomniac]

The Hunger Games is a lot of things, "good" not being one of them.

[Rynnec]

Cloud
Seifer
Tidus
Cecil
Zidane
Vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan

Squall looks like he could even fit right in as is.

Wow, Hunger Games is basically a Final Fantasy game without the fantasy part.

It's even more suckier than I imagined!

[Lord Dalek]

Cloud
Seifer
Tidus
Cecil
Zidane
Vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan

Squall looks like he could even fit right in as is.

Wow, Hunger Games is basically a Final Fantasy game without the fantasy part.

MY EYES THEY BURN

[Avaitor]

Jack Donaghy's 25 pillars of motherhood.

1- Don't overthink the names. Stick to kings and queens. There's never going to be a president Ashton or a doctor Katniss.

[Lord Dalek]

CHAPTER TWENTY: Goof-Gas Attack

PREVIOUSLY ON THE HUNGER GAMES: Peeta was quite dead and all hope was lost... until Creepy Finnick does some CPR and he's back from the dead. Umm yayz? Well now that that's over with we're back to looking for water again as Mags is fricken old and Peeta is dead weight. Katniss goes to look for a stream but comes up empty handed, but not before noticing what appears to be either a mongoose or a meercat who isn't parched at all. Where the heck is the fresh water? Its obvious that the arena which is apparently a ring built around the central ring they were dumped onto lacks it... or does it?

The answer comes with the convenient arrival of a parachute from Haymitch. Inside is a metal pipe with a slit. Nobody knows what it is until Katniss Neary finally figures it out. Its a syrup faucet, for a large tree to harvest maple. But they don't need syrup right? Well sorta... What none of our party knows is that all the trees here are palm trees, and if you know your basically herbology (or at least played a Monkey Island game) the palm tree stores water. See this is way better than spending a whole fucking chapter trying to find a lake (actually I'm honest here, even it is a deus ex machnia, its an improvement for you Collins)!

Our party quenches their thirst and now will probably not die of dysentery. BUT WAIT! A dark cloud descends on the land covering it in smoke. EVIL SMOKE! Smoke that can kill you. Time to run, Katniss.... again.

[Lord Dalek]

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: The Curse of Mutt-key Island

The fog is a lovely concoction that is made entirely out of acid rain. Ouch. The alliance is forced to run back to the beach but they're not moving well, a combination of the acid (which trashes your nerve endings), Mags' old age, and Peeta still not moving well from his run-in with the force field. In the end, its Mags who has to sacrifice herself. She steps into the fog and boom goes the canon. Now reduced to a trio, our party is pinned against the ocean awaiting death when the fog finally stops.... like right in front of them. I hate to say this but... how Abrams-esque.

Katniss is unable to do anything but jump in the water and it is through the magic of the clear blue waters of the Caribbean that they are healed. Apparently salt water sucks out acid rain from your body. THE THINGS YOU LEARN EVERY DAY. It takes a while for Katniss, Peeta, and Creepy Finnick to purge themselves of the poison but soon they're fit as a fiddle.... BUT WHAT'S LURKING IN THE SHADOWS?!?

Why its a bunch of cute little monkeys... oh wait they're mutts... oh wait they want to kill you... Ok this is what really annoys me about this book. The EVIL CAPITOL so far has been more inclined to kill all the Tribunes themselves instead of having the Tribunes do it. They're abusing their death trap quotient like its no one else's business. It's one thing to be Dr. Evil, its another to switch to Scott in the end. These monkeys of death are just another in the series of growing problems and miscalculations done by the capitol. Why bother having games if you just want to kill the victors yourselves?

Well anyway the evil muttkeys of doom attack our party draining them of valuable weapons and ammo. Katniss runs out arrows real fast and Peeta can't get this one muttkey off his back forcing Kat to do what we want her to do and KILL HERSELF! BUT WAIT! From out of the shadows... we're saved by... a random drug addict from District 6. Yeah both tributes from District 6 are hopheads. WHAT ARE THE ODDS?!?

[Avaitor]

I'm starting to think that this is worse than Twilight.

[Lord Dalek]

I'm starting to think that this is worse than Twilight.

That's quite a feat.

[Spark Of Spirit]

Now I really need to see the second film.