Let's Play....er Read The Hunger Games (an experiment in literary criticism).

[Avaitor]

I mean, even Stephanie Meyer supported teenage abstinence. I guess.

And I really don't see a difference between Edward and Peeta.

[Lord Dalek]

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO:  More Mouths to Feed

Peeta kills the Mutt that atacked the Morphling Addict and then the rest back away. There seems to be an order to things with these games but Katniss figure it out. Anyway Peeta gets to have his version of the Rue death scene and they cast the District 6 addict out to sea. Surprisingly even though they're out in the open, Team KatCreePeet finds themselves at a moment's peace. Haymitch sends a healing balm to help deal with their burns from the Acid Rain.

Things go pretty slowly until our band witness what appears to be a Tsunami strike another part of the arena, killing one more Tribune (we're up to 13 dead so far). Emerging from it is Johanna Mason who is dragging along Beetee and Wiress. Beetee's been wounded and is in pretty bad shape. Wiress is just... Wiress. Johanna's had a hellish run. First there was a thunderstorm that rained blood instead of water (that's... creepy), then the mini-tsunami, and now she's stuck with Katniss who she doesn't like. OH JOY!

Wiress has ended up running around in circles and saying only "tick...tock...". If this were a Madeline L'Engle novel she'd be either Mrs. Witch or Calvin O'Keefe's mother, she's that cryptic. Johanna reveals to Katniss that Mags was Finnick's mentor in his previous games so her sacrifice in the last chapter probably hit him fairly hard. Meanwhile Katniss tries to understand the meaning of Wiress pretending to be a clock when it hits her. This is the way the Gamemakers have been unleashing hazards on them. By the hour and setting them to only work on certain quadrants of the arena dome.

[Dr. Insomniac]

...I still don't get how Snow's government is supposed to work if it focuses on hourly attacking the victims instead of actually doing anything else.

[Spark Of Spirit]

...I still don't get how Snow's government is supposed to work if it focuses on hourly attacking the victims instead of actually doing anything else.

He's like a senile Cobra Commander.

He's only missing the random evil musings to himself.

[Lord Dalek]

Ummm... way to go Gale?

BTW Yes I will resume this, I'm just finding it difficult to summarize a series of repetitive chapters that lead to nowhere.

[Foggle]

Ummm... way to go Gale?

BTW Yes I will resume this, I'm just finding it difficult to summarize a series of repetitive chapters that lead to nowhere.

Anyone would need a break from this after awhile.

[Avaitor]

Over the past few months, I've actually grown to like Miley as a person a little. She's grown into an attractive woman over the years and I love her attitude against the paparazzi. But unlike Demi, her work doesn't interest me in the slightest, and she just seems like an idiot more often than not.

This just proves that.

[Lord Dalek]

You know... you should be grateful I'm not reading something else...

CHAPTERS TWENTY-THREE AND TWENTY-FOUR: You know what screw this book

Yeah, I'm just going to rush through these because seriously nothing happens.

Wiress dies, so does some other guy. Hooray I guess!

The capitol starts taunting Katniss with the sounds of Prim being tortured. Its not real of course, what they've done is dump JabberJays into the arena and had them memorize audio recordings. Hahaha that cheeky EVIL CAPITOL!!!!(TM).

Katniss starts getting close to Peeta again. Forever dooming Gale to a life of an insane rebel. Hooray! I guess...

Peeta moans that he's useless... LOL because its true.

Who's up for Pizza Rolls?

[Avaitor]

His voice was like liquid mercury and just as dangerous. It was titillating. ?I?m very well practiced in the likes of vanilla coitus.?

This is real, people.

[Spark Of Spirit]

Standing on the shoulders of Dan Brown.

[Avaitor]

This book would make for an even better drinking game than the one I'm working on now.

[Spark Of Spirit]

This book would make for an even better drinking game than the one I'm working on now.

I keep hearing the farmer's voice when I read that.

It makes for better reading!

[Lord Dalek]

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE: Ride the Wire

That Beetee is one smart whacko. He's created a plan that involves hooking running a wire to a tree that is constantly struck by lightning due to the Gamemaker's clock timetable system. If you've learned anything from American History (and of course Panem hasn't) the charge from the lightning should pass through the wire to an exposed end, in this case the sea. The goal of the plan is to hope Brutus and Enobaria are fishing at that point and fry them along with all the fish in the area. If not... well... cutting off the only other food source will be a big benefit to our hapless morons.

This is arguably the stupidest plan I've ever read...BUT WHO AM I TO JUDGE?!?!

Katniss is sulky and pissy. Hooray! I guess...

With the trap set, the gang spends the rest of their time having a picnic. YES A PICNIC. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. To be fair, all the seafood is about end up without a beer batter so gathering up as much as possible is a smart idea. In a moment that's supposed to be charming but not due to Katniss being a miserable bitch, Peeta finds a pearl and gives it to her.

Isn't that sweet? She'll just love watching the Capitol goons claw it from her cold dead hands.

[Kiddington]

With the trap set, the gang spends the rest of their time having a picnic. YES A PICNIC. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.

This book... 

[Lord Dalek]

CHAPTER TWENTY SIX: The Roof is on Fire

The time has come to kill Brutus and Enobaria. Katniss and Johanna Mason start winding the wire into the sea taking percautions to make sure where the other death traps are. All goes well until... the wire gets cut.

OH NOES!

Johanna suddenly jumps Katniss stabbing her in the arm. Apparently the alliance is off and Johanna and Finnick are now her enemies too. From this point that chapter becomes nonsensical to the point of incoherrent as Katniss with blurred vision and loss of blood tries to get back to Beetee and the lightning tree, vomiting a steaming bowl of clam chowder along the way.

She eventually finds Beetee to discover that he's incapacitated and rigged it to do something different. Instead of striking the sea, the wire is now connected... to the force field. This is obviously not a good idea. Lightning strikes the tree and the resulting charge overloads the force fields causing explosions. Katniss can only think that the Capitol is bombing the Arena out of retribution. Noone gets out alive this time.

...alas that is not the case as we will soon find out in one of the most bizarre final chapters in the history of modern children's lit.