Spring is in the air, and so is anime. Caligula I remember as a teenager thinking the Matrix sequels had interesting things to say about philosophy and the human mind. I know, bear with me, but I legitimately thought shit like the Merovingian’s cake orgasm speech and Agent Smith asking Neo why he keeps fighting were cool. But that was over a decade ago, and now I think all those attempts at psychological science were stupid. Nothing except for a…

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DARLING in the FRANXX You know what? Hype is a bitch. And nobody knows that more than Studio Trigger (for better or worse). Ever since they were declared “THE SAVIORS OF ANIME!!!”(tm) by one of my colleagues (the one who doesn’t write here anymore because he’d have to apologize to all of us for making that inane claim), the studio’s name always gets attached to some high profile, heavily promoted, stylish as hell supershow, only for it turn out either…

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Citrus I don’t like Citrus. Watching it makes me feel like I’m seeing a teenage girl being sexually abused by another teenage girl. Because that’s exactly what I’m watching, and no amount of camerawork trying to frame it as romantic or erotic will make me feel better about a young woman being forced to the ground and violently kissed by her step-sister, tears welling up in her eyes. I’m not interesting in seeing the groundwork being laid for a relationship…

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No. No they haven’t. Welcome to the worst season of the year (until the next one). Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Arc Aw, yeah. It’s Keerdkapteers! Sucker-a’s a junior high school student now! Madison’s still a dirty, shameless voyeur! Eli Moon’s back! Ms. McKenzie’s back and she’s got tea! Yue’s back! Syao-show-xiao-Michelle-whatever-ran’s back! Kero’s back but he doesn’t sound like surfer dude Matt Hill anymore! That sucks, but who cares?! Everybody’s back! Except for that annoying Chinese girl who wanted to…

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Dies Irae Welcome to the real premiere of Dies Irae! You’re probably asking yourself “What’s the deal? Why are we dealing with high school shenanigans? Where are the Nazi’s?” Well as you could probably tell by now, episode 0 was supposed to be an appetizer meant to show off the villains and entice people into the show. Yeah, general reception by fans and non-fans alike should tell you how well that worked out. I myself didn’t watch it because the…

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Dies Irae Let it be known that in an era marked by social strife and the rise of fascism I am watching an anime about bishounen nazis. BISHOUNEN NAAAAAZEEEEEEEEES. Not only that but a show about Bishounen nazis funded entirely with kickstarter money. Somebody gave up their hard earned cash to see a show about bishounen Nazis. This is flat out appauling but not surprising considering Japan gave us Tanya The Evil earlier this year. And wasn’t Tanya the Evil…

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Battle Girl High School: Battle Girl Project BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! …Pfft, okay. What’s the real name of this show? Wait, this show is seriously called “Battle Girl High School: Battle Girl Project”? …BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, so, BGHS:BSP is exactly what you think it is. It’s an anime about a bunch of girls who fight battles in futuristic armor against some alien threat while also going to a high school where they learn how to fight battles. It’s painfully dull and I found myself…

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