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Category: Seasonal Anime Clusterfucks

The Summer 2018 Anime Clusterfuck: Digibro Except We Shower on a Daily Basis

The Summer 2018 Anime Clusterfuck: Digibro Except We Shower on a Daily Basis

100 Sleeping Princes and The Kingdom of Dreams: The Animation I can only imagine this show came about because some fujoshi at a video game company thought “What if…Kirby but they were all bishies.” Now 20 years ago this would have gotten you an instant pinkslip, but such is Japan’s incresasing degree of depravity that it actually got made. And somewhere along the way that half-assed premise was deemed worthy of a tv adaptation so here we are with this…

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The Spring 2018 Anime Clusterfuck Part Two: Thump

The Spring 2018 Anime Clusterfuck Part Two: Thump

23 Slaves and Me A man walks into a studio. He asks to see the manager because he has a series to pitch. The manager comes out of his domain and asks, “What are you offerin’?” “Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!” the man says. “You can’t believe the kind of anime I have for you!” “Another one of them isekai whatchamacallits?” the manager inquires. “Don’t you shut the door in front of me, because my anime will shatter your…

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The Spring 2018 Anime Clusterfuck Part One: Seriously, What The Fuck Was Up With Magical Girl Site?

The Spring 2018 Anime Clusterfuck Part One: Seriously, What The Fuck Was Up With Magical Girl Site?

Spring is in the air, and so is anime. Caligula I remember as a teenager thinking the Matrix sequels had interesting things to say about philosophy and the human mind. I know, bear with me, but I legitimately thought shit like the Merovingian’s cake orgasm speech and Agent Smith asking Neo why he keeps fighting were cool. But that was over a decade ago, and now I think all those attempts at psychological science were stupid. Nothing except for a…

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The Winter 2018 Anime Clusterfuck Part Three: FranXX: An XXX Parody

The Winter 2018 Anime Clusterfuck Part Three: FranXX: An XXX Parody

DARLING in the FRANXX You know what? Hype is a bitch. And nobody knows that more than Studio Trigger (for better or worse). Ever since they were declared “THE SAVIORS OF ANIME!!!”(tm) by one of my colleagues (the one who doesn’t write here anymore because he’d have to apologize to all of us for making that inane claim), the studio’s name always gets attached to some high profile, heavily promoted, stylish as hell supershow, only for it turn out either…

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The Winter 2018 Anime Clusterfuck Part Two: Get Blinded by KyoAni Filters!

The Winter 2018 Anime Clusterfuck Part Two: Get Blinded by KyoAni Filters!

Citrus I don’t like Citrus. Watching it makes me feel like I’m seeing a teenage girl being sexually abused by another teenage girl. Because that’s exactly what I’m watching, and no amount of camerawork trying to frame it as romantic or erotic will make me feel better about a young woman being forced to the ground and violently kissed by her step-sister, tears welling up in her eyes. I’m not interesting in seeing the groundwork being laid for a relationship…

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The Winter 2018 Anime Clusterfuck Part One: ♬CARDCAPTORS! A MYSTIC ADVENTURE! CARDCAPTORS! A QUEST FOR ALL TIME♬

The Winter 2018 Anime Clusterfuck Part One: ♬CARDCAPTORS! A MYSTIC ADVENTURE! CARDCAPTORS! A QUEST FOR ALL TIME♬

No. No they haven’t. Welcome to the worst season of the year (until the next one). Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Arc Aw, yeah. It’s Keerdkapteers! Sucker-a’s a junior high school student now! Madison’s still a dirty, shameless voyeur! Eli Moon’s back! Ms. McKenzie’s back and she’s got tea! Yue’s back! Syao-show-xiao-Michelle-whatever-ran’s back! Kero’s back but he doesn’t sound like surfer dude Matt Hill anymore! That sucks, but who cares?! Everybody’s back! Except for that annoying Chinese girl who wanted to…

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The Fall 2017 Anime Clusterfuck Part Three: PRAY FOR SIIIIIIIIISTAAAAAA LIIIIIIIIIILYYYYY

The Fall 2017 Anime Clusterfuck Part Three: PRAY FOR SIIIIIIIIISTAAAAAA LIIIIIIIIIILYYYYY

Dies Irae Welcome to the real premiere of Dies Irae! You’re probably asking yourself “What’s the deal? Why are we dealing with high school shenanigans? Where are the Nazi’s?” Well as you could probably tell by now, episode 0 was supposed to be an appetizer meant to show off the villains and entice people into the show. Yeah, general reception by fans and non-fans alike should tell you how well that worked out. I myself didn’t watch it because the…

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Autumn 17 Years After Millennium Japanimation Orgy Part Two: Crucify the Umaru

Autumn 17 Years After Millennium Japanimation Orgy Part Two: Crucify the Umaru

Dies Irae Let it be known that in an era marked by social strife and the rise of fascism I am watching an anime about bishounen nazis. BISHOUNEN NAAAAAZEEEEEEEEES. Not only that but a show about Bishounen nazis funded entirely with kickstarter money. Somebody gave up their hard earned cash to see a show about bishounen Nazis. This is flat out appauling but not surprising considering Japan gave us Tanya The Evil earlier this year. And wasn’t Tanya the Evil…

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The Fall 2017 Anime Clusterfuck Part One: “This is the Anime Liberals Want”

The Fall 2017 Anime Clusterfuck Part One: “This is the Anime Liberals Want”

Hello, scoundrels. Hope you’ve been well, and watching good Christian entertainment like Martha and Snoop’s Potluck Dinner Party. As a reward for your good behavior, here is the new clusterfuck. Disobey in the future, and charlatans will lick your eyeballs clean. The Ancient Magus’ Bride Boy does this look familiar. So familiar that I feel like wrote it up LAST YEAR. Whoops. – Lord Dalek Black Clover Oh boy, more shonen shit! More obnoxious, irritating, generic pablum destined to be…

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The Summer Anime 2017 Clusterfuck Part Three: Re:Creators is Just Traced Over Aldnoah;Zero Stills

The Summer Anime 2017 Clusterfuck Part Three: Re:Creators is Just Traced Over Aldnoah;Zero Stills

Battle Girl High School: Battle Girl Project BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! …Pfft, okay. What’s the real name of this show? Wait, this show is seriously called “Battle Girl High School: Battle Girl Project”? …BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, so, BGHS:BSP is exactly what you think it is. It’s an anime about a bunch of girls who fight battles in futuristic armor against some alien threat while also going to a high school where they learn how to fight battles. It’s painfully dull and I found myself…

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