02.06
So it comes to this, ripping off AnimeNewsNetwork’s seasonal feature.
You know the deal. I’ll post up several episode reviews of new anime premiering this Winter. Most will suck, few will rock, and I’ll spend the day after wallowing in shame.
And remember, these are just reviews for the first episodes. While first impressions are crucial, a series shouldn’t be judged purely on that. There’s always the occasion where the show can suddenly get really good at episode six, or start to suck by the finale. With that said, read at your own risk.
Oniichan no Koto Nanka Zenzen Suki Janain Dakara ne!!
A young girl named Nao wants to make sweet, tender love with her brother Shuusuke. She is so entranced by him, that she does such things as rub his t-shirt on her face, go to sleep in his bed during the night, and strip in front of him while their mom’s in the room. So it’s only natural that she gets the eventual talk and finds out that she’s actually adopted. And since her brother’s a pervert who stimulates himself with H-games, that means she can happily play the “will they or won’t they” game for the next twelve episodes like all good-natured stepsiblings do.
As a doctor, it gives me great warmth to see such an authentic example of the lives of siblings unrelated by blood. I remember having patients muse on and on about how they have had love lives that started exactly how I pictured in this show. Indeed, the message that being a step-sister makes it okay to want to have relations with your brother is such an honest and emotionally sincere meaning that I strongly insist that all those with a step-sibling should follow this beautiful series on how to live life. Indeed, seeing such truth told in anime sparks my soul and fills me with hope that the industry can create even more gems such as this and KissXSis.
Also, fellow doctors not in my field can greatly enjoy how well proportioned these characters are by giving them inch-wide shoulders, foot-long necks, and bony limbs. Indeed, I have not seen such realistic art since the acclaimed 12 Oz. Mouse. As well as these fine surgeons, my biologist friends adore the usage of a baby penguin to cover up nudity. It is such a fine, subtle example of symbolism to see these children of the Arctic used to censor a panty shot. Oh, by all means, this series is a work of art that I predict shall be the crown jewel of the new decade.
But in all seriousness, fuck this show.
Rating: 1/10
Freezing!
The only reason why you bastards are watching this.
So on this romp, we’re getting a show featuring humans and their battle against aliens known as the Nova. And like all shows of this nature, it starts off with big-tittied girls in miniskirts slashing the blood and fabric out of each other. Somewhere in the middle of this episode, we get some character introductions and exposition, but all of that is shoved in the background while the panty fighting ensues. Also, there’s a vague hint of incest for those not satisfied with the above.
Even with that aside, this show fails at characters and plot. You barely get any idea what the hell these people are supposed to be like. The main characters, Kazuya and Bridgette, are so barely shown that they may as well be cameos. And the story itself just seems trite. Are we going to go through one of these alien invasion shows again? Without so much as even a twist to that? And combined with the random scenes of gore, I’m getting the feeling that this is actually a series adaptation of Mars of Destruction.
All in all, this is just an ass n’ tits show pretending to be some kind of Sci-Fi drama. There’s so much cleavage, I wondering if the Nova are attacking Earth for more personal reasons. And unlike the previous show, it’s taking itself way too seriously. It attempts to entice you with tragic backstories and brutal decapitations, when it’s really just offering you what real life has been hiding from you for years. Admittedly, the animation isn’t half-bad and the show could have something interesting along the way, but I’m not betting on that. So if you want to see some tits, just go google some porn instead of surging through this shit.
Rating: 2/10
Gosick
Here, we get introduced to Kazuya Kujo and the 1920s land of Sauville. Being Japanese and all, everybody at his school thinks he’s cursed and call him “the Dark Reaper”, so the closest thing to a friend he makes is an inquisitive, little girl named Dominique. But this girl is smarter than she acts, and with deducing the killer in a crime scene, she and Kazuya get plunged into a mystery involving murder and rabbits. Thus, the two must venture out to the seas and help an inspector uncover the full case.
Leave it to BONES to avoid making a steaming pile of ecchi. While the episode definitely has its flaws, it at least does a decent job introducing the characters to you. Kazuya’s personality and “fish out of water” theme remind me a lot of Mikado Ryugamine from Durarara!!, so it’ll be interesting to see how they deviate. As for Dominique, the writers need to fucking tone down her moe traits and fast. It also doesn’t help how formulaic the dynamic of the two seems to be. But what really worries me is that the use of a murder mystery, an investigator in a white suit, and a weird loli girl are making this show look like Umineko with good production values, so I strongly hope that these similarities will stay superficial.
So overall, it’s decent. I’d probably have a lower opinion of it, but the utter abhorrence of the above two shows means that anything in comparison would always look better.
Rating: 6/10
Beelzebub
A stereotypical delinquent freshman named Tatsumi Oga somehow becomes the surrogate dad to a baby. What’s sad is that the baby latches on to him the more Oga tries to get away from him. What’s sadder is that the baby is an Electric-type and randomly uses Thunderbolt on people. What’s even sadder is that it just happens to be the spawn of Satan (who apparently fucked a Raichu), and has to be taken care of or else Oga will get killed. And with that, our protagonist is off on his grand quest to prepare the Anti-Christ for the eventual destruction of Earth… Hooray?
Like the first episodes of most Shonen Jump shows, there’s nothing particularly good or bad about it. It’s more likely that you’ll have to wait a few months in order to see what this show can really be like, but for now it’s juvenile and full of things you’ve already seen in Bleach, Prince of Tennis, Katekyo Hitman Reborn, Slam Dunk, Yu Yu Hakusho, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Eyeshield 21, Buso Renkin, and plenty of others. I’d say something about the art, plot, and characters, but if you’ve already watched the above shows, you’ve pretty much got your answer.
So if you want more of the same, but with babies, I guess you should watch this. For me though, this is yet another forgettable shonen series.
Rating: 5/10
Cardfight!! Vanguard
And you thought Duel Academy was stupid…
What I Watched: Cardfight!! Vanguard
What I Expected: A show about people with bad bed hair playing children’s card games.
What I Got: A show about people with bad bed hair playing children’s card games.
Opening music is pretty good though.
Rating: whatever your view on Yu-Gi-Oh! is/10
Infinite Stratos
So the wonders of technology have given us the Infinite Stratos, a type of mechanized armor that can only be used by woman for some reason or another. But suddenly, some guy named Ichika Orimura is able to use the suit and gets shoved into an academy that trains IS pilots. While there, he meets his bitch of a sister, his bitch of a childhood friend, and a bitch of a random British girl who wants to duel with him by the episode’s end. That is pretty much the entire story right there.
Imagine if Freezing! was edited to be family-friendly, and you’d get this. You would think this would be a good thing, but actually, this is the equivalent of cutting the tits off a stripper and forcing her into a trench coat. In other words, this is a fucking slog that does nothing, not even so much as fanservice, to reel you in. Instead, it just feels like bloody padding. Hell, a good chunk of this episode involves the main lead bitching to his roommate about shower scheduling. Like Beelzebub, this is one of those shows that is completely unremarkable if you’ve so much as glanced as other shows of its genre.
Rating: 3/10
Level E
Meet Yukitaka Tsutsui, an up-and-coming high school student going out on his own to further his pursuit in baseball. With a nice apartment and a next-door love interest, things seem to be going great for him… until he discovers an alien in his room. This creature—in the form of an androgynous blonde man—has no memories of his own, with the only actual possession of his being an artifact showing hints of what he truly is. And as soon as his new life begins, Tsutsui and the alien are now intertwined in a search for self-discovery as humanity slowly finds out about life in outer space.
Adapted from a Yoshihiro Togashi story, Level E is of a different breed than what its creator is usually known for (actually thought it was by the guy who made GANTZ given the similar character designs). However, it proves to be quite interesting to see him work on a different genre. The little references to other “boy meets alien” works help give it certain flair. Combined with a good opening and crisp production values, this series proves to be an interesting odd man out in a season full of style-over-substance fluff. Also, it’ll definitely be interesting to see how the relationship between the two leads develops (note that I never read the source material).
So all in all, an actually good premiere. Who’d have thought?
Rating: 8/10
Wolverine
So after the quiet run of Iron Man, Marvel and Madhouse present us the story of Logan (take a shot every time someone yells out his name) and his quest to rescue his lover Mariko from her Yakuza father. I’d probably say more, but honestly, you’re not watching this for the plot. You’re just here to see guys get ripped apart by adamantium claws.
I can probably see why there hasn’t been much sound and thunder over these shows. For anime fans, the series just shoves you right into the action while expecting you to know at least a few basics of Wolverine’s backstory. And for Marvel fans, the subdued animation and slow story pace isn’t going to sway them. In other words, newcomers won’t get into it and fanboys will probably hate it. With that said, it’s not a bad first episode. Just don’t expect much, and you’ll be fine.
Rating: 5/10
Kore wa Zombie Desu ka?
Here’s Aikawa Ayumu. He’s yet another high schooler, and like all high schoolers, he sits by the window, has no parents, and narrates introspectively to himself for the entire episode. He also looks suspiciously like Keiichi Maebara, but none of that matters, for he is a zombie!
Also, he sparkles.
Oh, and he’s searching for his killer, but never mind that, because he ends up assimilating the power of some Cardcaptor reject. And by the end, he has to combine his zombie and magical girl powers in order to fight a giant lobster…
…and dear Christ, it’s as stupid as it sounds. Admittedly, some of these clichés are played for laughs. Just not very good laughs. Instead of deconstructing how overdone these tropes are, it just plays them straight while flinging pisspoor fanservice gags and crossdressing jokes at us. It also doesn’t help that none of the characters make much of a mark. Aside from Ayumu, the main cast contains some albino mute girl named Eucliwood Hellscythe and a former magical girl turned snide bitch named Haruna. That’s about as far as these characters can be described as depth goes. And as for the animation quality, it’s DEEN. What do you think? But still, there are a few vague shades of hope that might turn this into something good. It all just depends on what this show will be going for.
Rating: 3/10
Fractale
Robot Roll Call!
In a distant future controlled by a network known as Fractale, where people mostly exist outside via gigantic Fisher-Price toys, a boy named Clain discovers a girl who fell from the sky after a failed air chase. After bringing her home, she tries to open his eyes and make him realize how he’s changed from the wide-eyed child he used to be. They also evade the people who tried to pursue her. But just as they mingle, the girl disappears; leaving only a brooch that will guide Clain to his heart’s desire.
It’s nigh impossible to watch this and not be reminded of Miyazaki. Even in the first five minutes, there are scenes that are strongly reminiscent of Nausicaa, Howl’s Moving Castle, and Porco Rosso. Really, the whole episode feels like a weird homage to Ghibli films, to the point where I’m disappointed we didn’t get a Totoro cameo. But other than that, the episode doesn’t offer much. While it’s well-animated and finely paced, it has very little to truly grab you into the story. However, there are definitely a few hints to something greater. It makes you wonder why society’s changed to the point where people rarely make actual contact with each other, and what are the specifics of the Fractale system, things that will hopefully get resolved as the episodes go by. So overall, it has a bland beginning, but great potential.
Rating: 6/10
Wandering Son
This is the story about a boy named Shuichi Nitori who wants to be a girl, and a girl named Yoshino Takatsuki who wants to be a boy. However, this is not the kind of show where characters just laugh it off in time for a poorly executed fanservice gag to pop up. Instead, it promises to be something more poignant, showing the lives of middle schoolers questioning their identity and wanting to change it.
Like I mentioned earlier, the use of LGBT themes is a rather rare topic in anime. And no, Yaoi barely ever examines being gay; it only glamorizes it and offers very little to anyone outside the horny fangirl demographic. The same goes with Yuri. So for this series, I like how it avoids the theatrics and just gives us the story of how transsexuality can affect people as young as preteens. In short, it could be an interesting show. But then again, I might be wrong and it’ll devolve into an emotionally manipulative sapfest like Clannad.
Rating: 8/10
If you’re wondering why I didn’t review other shows like Rio – Rainbow Gate or Yumekui Merry, it’s because they’re the kind of shows that are just so dull I couldn’t offer any sort of critical reaction about them. With Mitsudomoe and Kimi no Todoke, they were sequels to shows I’ve never watched. And for that SHAFT show, it’s loli bait and nothing I could properly talk about.
So overall, Sturgeon’s Law is in pretty full effect. But with some obvious exceptions, I’d just suggest you look into any of these shows and see if you like them. Who knows? You might find something good to waste your time on for the next few months.
Originally posted on Friday, January 14, 2011.