Music Critics Suck

[Avaitor]

I'll post some more reasons later, but this one is a good starting place.

"So [Taylor Swift is] in a class by herself when it comes to turning all that romantic turmoil into great songs. At this point, she's like the new Morrissey, except with even more eyeliner."

From Rolling Stone, the same magazine that called Pinkerton the worst album of the year and Kid A the best of the 00's. Surely a great work.

[Commode]

But Morrissey sucked too.  I never understood why people liked him or his music.  I can understand and like The Cure, but Morrissey?  Sorry, no.

[Spark Of Spirit]

Rolling Stone has never been relevant.

They trashed every single Led Zeppelin album to shreds when they came out, and have changed little since.

[Foggle]

They trashed every single Led Zeppelin album to shreds when they came out, and have changed little since.

Good lord, they're worse than fucking Pitchfork.

[Spark Of Spirit]

Pitchfork is just as shitty.

Year one: "Ooh, this album of trash can drumming and German influenced cartoon voice-over work is original and genius!"

Year two: "Album two is more of the same and now they suck because music has evolved. I hear Radiohead has an album about farting due soon!"

One is about garbage mainstream music, the other is about garbage indie music. Like night and day.

[Avaitor]

But Morrissey sucked too.  I never understood why people liked him or his music.  I can understand and like The Cure, but Morrissey?  Sorry, no.

I like how simplistic Morrisey's lyrics are, but at the same time how he adds so much into every decibel.

His post-Smiths stuff I'm not as big on, but I can play anything by them all day.

[Foggle]

Does anyone else here hate Radiohead? Their music puts me to sleep.

Tool and Dream Theater also do the same thing to me.

[Commode]

Yes, and yes.  Don't know about the third one though.

[Spark Of Spirit]

I like High & Dry by Radiohead, but yeah I agree.

They don't write "songs", they write "pieces" and are the exact type of self-important douchebags that I hate in real life. Why would I want to listen to an album by those smarmy assholes?

[Avaitor]

I tried to play Kid A and The Bends the other day and got bored with them so fast.

They might be the best stuff they have ever done, but I'd much rather listen to what inspired them, like actual krautrock or Jeff Buckley, than Radiohead themselves.

Dream Theater is just generic prog with some Maiden-esq riffs. Everyone in the band is talented, except for James LaBrie who just fucking blows, but their music is so. Fucking. Boring.

And Tool basically rewrites the same songs again and again. "Complicated" bass line, "deep" lyrics about how Maynard is a fucking weirdo, a few predictable guitar breaks, Maynard screams some more, dull jammy ending, wash, rinse, repeat.

I can't stand any of these bands.

[Foggle]

This is why I love you guys.

Read this video's comments if you want to rage. Thousands upon thousands of pages of people jerking off to the "deep" video, song, and band -- when in reality it's all just strange for the sake of being strange and is more than a little pretentious.

[Commode]

I also still really hate Disturbed and all of Corey Taylor's shitty bands, but that's another(TZ related) story.

[Spark Of Spirit]

Let me just say that what I like about music are songs. Beginnings, middles, and ends. I don't care how long it is, but meandering for countless minutes while droning on about nothing while singing lyrics that make no fucking sense because it's "art", is exactly what I hate about art.

Film, books, television, movies, and of course, music. Don't beat around the bush, get to the point and do it with style. Don't waste our time because you think what you have to give us is some grand gesture or whatever.

I'm not deriding long songs, though. One of my favorite songs is 16 minutes long and they make every second count within. It's what you do with the time that counts.

[Foggle]

I also still really hate Disturbed and all of Corey Taylor's shitty bands, but that's another(TZ related) story.

Disturbed sucks, too, but I'd rather listen to them than Tool, tbh.

I'd never heard of Corey Taylor, and after looking him up on Wikipedia and finding this picture, I wish I still hadn't. Fuck. Slipknot.

Film, books, television, movies, and of course, music. Don't beat around the bush, get to the point and do it with style. Don't waste our time because you think what you have to give us is some grand gesture or whatever.

I'm not deriding long songs, though. One of my favorite songs is 16 minutes long and they make every second count within. It's what you do with the time that counts.

Oh yeah, long songs can be amazing if done correctly.

I tend to accept "artsy" stuff in film or print more than in music, since it fits the medium more, IMO. I don't usually enjoy it, though (and yet, I love David Lynch's works, for whatever reason).

[Avaitor]

This is why I love you guys.

Read this video's comments if you want to rage. Thousands upon thousands of pages of people jerking off to the "deep" video, song, and band -- when in reality it's all just strange for the sake of being strange and is more than a little pretentious.

After I read one guy's comment about how many dislikes the video got, I gave it another myself.