Now what did we learn today?

[Angus]

It's tough to remember all those social lessons anime has taught us through the years, so here's your chance to post or repost your favorite insights. 

[Angus]

I've been reading a bunch of those rom/com mangas recently:

Carrying a girl on your back when she sprains her ankle scores big points in the romance dept.
Cooking skills also score very well.
If you don't have the skills, you can recognize and appreciate your girl friend's cooking, that scores well too.
Having a certain household cleaner around is a sign that a woman lives in your home.
Don't go to a strange woman's home; she'll have a hidden camera to capture you in an embarrassing position and then she'll blackmail you.
Girls aren't all innocent; they lie; they're not as stupidly honest as the boy.
Don't go to love hotels, even if it's for research.
You can hopefully forget about your ex when you find someone you love even more, unless it's your first serious love, then you're screwed.
It's okay to tell your guy friend that you're secretly living with a girl; he'll trust you. But don't tell your girl friends.
Set up a group date but then leave the two together that you want to pair up.
Putting a curtain to divvy your room with a girl doesn't work, since she'll just roll over to your side in her sleep and then you're in big trouble when she wakes up.
Wet clothes always reveal underwear; look away asap.  
Embarrassing positions, as with first kisses, are always interrupted.
Don't look away when you make up a lie, it's such a big tell.
Don't blame others for your own situation, even if you've been set up.
Your friends totally know when you like someone.
A deferred confession response usually means no.
A smile can be genuine but it could also hide a bunch of bigger problems.
If you follow your girlfriend to another town because she stopped talking to you, that's stalking.
A young boy will tease a young girl whom he really likes; it's his way of giving attention and affection.
If you go out of your way to help a lost girl when you're young, she'll fall in love with you later on in life.
If you're just very nice to an available girl, you've just added to your harem.
Things might go really well on a date but then she'll say something like "We should stop seeing each other."  

[Pharass]

If an admitted serial-killer tells you that you're not a real person and all your memories are fake, you should always take his word over that of your brother. After all, what possible reason could he have to lie to you?

Never save the life of a small child. Not only will your career be ruined, but the kid in question will propably turn out to be pure evil anyway.

If everything else fails, sacrifice the people who trusted and respected you to the forces of darkness, in exchange for demonic powers. After all, you've clearly stated that they belong to you, so they have no reason to complain about it.

As long as you're attractive, you can be as gleefully evil as you want and there will still be people online who insist that you're not really evil and just misunderstod.

Ok, the last one isn't exclusively from animé, but I still wanted to include it.

[Angus]

Your childhood friend will share how you took baths together and feels no embarrassment even now.
Dads and older sisters can walk around the house in their underwear.
Romantic spots are usually found on top of a hill.
If you go on a group date with random school friends, chances are strong that you'll meet someone you already know, and she'll come in late and surprise you.
You can work unusually hard to get a nice present for your friend but you'll be exhausted and might miss something.
If you get caught peeping at a bath/hot springs, say you didn't see anything because of the steam.
It's customary to be tailed by your friends and rivals on a first date.

[Angus]

As long as you're attractive, you can be as gleefully evil as you want and there will still be people online who insist that you're not really evil and just misunderstod.

Ok, the last one isn't exclusively from animé, but I still wanted to include it.

That's a good one. How many times have we heard "she's a good person" in shows when it's clearly not the case?

[Angus]

If you're a guy and you get a "nosebleed" at the pool just squat.

Always arrive super early for your date but when your date comes, mention that you just got there.

If you want to bag a guy, act naive, shy, modest, and clumsy, so he can protect you, yet still appear to the rest of your peers to be smart, outgoing, beautiful, and athletic.

Guys do read relationship magazines and how-to guides, but will botch up the execution of the advice.

You'll look more like a couple when you hold hands or link arms.

If you've developed a crush on your childhood friend you can always say it was unrequited since the day you first met, and that you loyally held back your feelings when letting that friend date your other friend.

Turning 18 is a good time to declare your love to someone, since you're saying you can assume more responsibility even though you don't have any skills so you have to get a job.

No one wants to be considered a second choice except for those with such low-esteem they've joined as a harem or the person's numbered fan club member.

In answering a last-minute airport/train confession, tell the person to wait the X years for you to do your business (school, job, etc.) and then see if he/she feels the same.

Always beware of any strange gifts left in cars, hospital rooms, and doors.

Thanks to Magical Witch Punie-Chan (some spoilers):
If you sense danger, put your school friend in harm's way first.

A princess can be victorious in battle with bone breaking submission holds.

Created servants are only as smart as their master.

Old school cheating never works, but blowing up the classroom does since you can still cheat and the test will not be canceled.

[Foggle]

Sounds to me like you've been watching a certain ridiculously awesome high school-based anime recently.

[Angus]

If you want your friends to hook up, write the confession letters for them and set up the date.

If you're in a visible relationship, you're automatically exempt from the popularity polls at high school.

The second most popular girl at school is not easier to ask out than the number one girl.

Condoms make good gifts for your clueless virgin friend who is close to being in a relationship.

To love means to love every part of the person whether they are happy, sad, or even angry.

Set up your group games so you win and the couple you're trying to get close together keeps losing and has to do embarrassing penalties.

[Angus]

Thanks to Eden of the East (contains spoilers):

If you see a guy dressed only in a trenchcoat, take off your pants and give it to him.
Your "johnny" can get you out of a jam, or into one.
A toaster's a good way to get rid of important documents.
You're considered a good guy if you have a dog. 
Don't ever text your wife and your mistress with the same phone.
If you screw up on your job interview, don't expect lunch and if you do, don't expect that to go well.
If anyone's bothering you, you can point your finger like a gun at the person and bang, they're dead.
Want to meet up with old friends? Jump off the edge of a freeway.
Never bother your boss with petty problems.

and hmm I don't get it, but apparently:
You can still be considered a NEET and even strive to be an Elite NEET even if you are on the verge of getting your Internet startup business funded.

[Angus]

Five minutes = one half-hour episode.
Ten minutes = two or more episodes.
"Let's train and meet back here in two weeks" = same episode.

These are just guesses:
5 team members = power rangers group or sports tournament team
7 team members = bad guy assembly but team members fight individually
Multiple of 12 team members = team assembled will likely fight in battle royale, Zodiac related
13 team members = mysterious organization using visible numbering system (Roman or Chinese numerals)

[Angus]

If you are shot in the chest, hit by a car, caught in an explosion, have a building fall on you, fall off the building, or stabbed through the center of your chest, you will survive. But if you're an old rich dude or low on the organized crime hierarchy you're as dead as a security guy in Star Trek.

[Angus]

thanks to Yume De Aetara, Kaleido Star, and assorted rom-coms.

It helps to have a good relationship with your love interest's BFF, her sister, or your childhood female friend. She'll look after your best interests when you need help, except for the sex part, which you just need to figure that out on your own since she'll often give way too much advice. But be aware she will tell your love interest anything you share. Bring plenty of bribes (food, gifts, money). Also be sure you have no romantic interest whatsoever in the friend. If your friend has been a jerk to you, has a secret crush on you, is easily jealous, or can't be bribed, then walk cautiously because she can foil everything.

Work hard. Even if you fail, you will be sure to impress somebody.
Be persistent in working hard.
Keep your code of ethics, so even if you get fired / forced to resign for doing something right, someone down the line might be able to get your job back or something better.
Lying's bad. It's better to say "It's a secret" or "I can't tell you" and insist your intentions are good.
If you don't want that guy to be your boyfriend, be sure to look sad or start crying when he makes a move.
Saving random girls at your office will get them attracted to you, but as long as you are single minded in your love for the main girl, some will eventually understand.
Don't screw with someone who's intent on working hard and earnestly for their love.
If you want to support someone, make a doll for him, except for the one used in Hell Girl, that's just a bad sign. Charms are okay too.
A single picture of your love interest is good. Albums are good. But a whole wall of pictures and related photo accessories is stalker bad. Ripped photos are really bad.
Always rush to help take care of your love interest when they are sick.
Girls always have a panty drawer. Don't bother looking through the dressers and be shocked to see one.
Don't walk into bedrooms in case you end up seeing someone changing and getting slapped for it. Same with baths.
Just because the moment you see someone kiss doesn't mean they're in love, which is why tailing is so popular.
If you have a crush on a teacher, ditch any porn that has to do with teachers. Or in general, ditch your smut by giving it out to your pervy friends.
If you're on stage, don't forget to smile.
You don't have to give away your original dance routines if someone else is asked to perform them in your partner's place. Just modify it a bit.
Beware of mascots; they might be your friends doing part-time work.

Blind Date = Marriage Interview

[Angus]

Clumsiness works best when you trip and fall on the person you like.
Clumsiness is cute if you are nervously reacting to romance, but only if you're a girl.
Clumsiness does not work to your advantage if you fall down on your own accord or feign clumsiness because it worked romantically for someone else.
If it rains hard and you're soaking wet, ditch those clothes and get naked. You never know when that last bit of underwear will give you hypothermia.

Thanks to Unbalance x 2:
It's racist to poke fun of American people who try to eat spicy Korean food.
Water district = red light district.
It's okay to wear a cross and still act like a slut.
If you don't want a girl to make moves on you, just grab her boob or push her against a wall.
When fighting girls, you're only allowed to slap them.
A hotly dressed teacher can devastate the girl students' self-esteem.