2012
02.06

MAD the Animated Show: First Impressions [DaemonCorps]

I remember a time back when MAD magazine was pretty much everywhere. Back when magazines were hip and new, MAD seemed to be in the forefront of things, giving a less serious opinion on recent pop culture. From the handful of issues I leafed through, its tone alone was very tongue-in-cheek in that it was a compilation of short written works as well as comics and the like all compiled for the sake of mocking what we as a society have deemed the latest “it thing”—it was like some kind of precursor to the internet. Coupled with the rise of grunge and alt music during its high point and it’s no surprise that the generations growing up with the magazine have spawned some of the most interesting of people in our pop culture today—just IMDB any writer or director born in the ‘50s to see what I mean.

So with a magazine under their belt since the ‘50s and their own TV sketch show from ’95 to ’09, what more could be asked of the magazine?

Well, how ‘bout an animated series?

With the somewhat edgier shows coming out of the woodwork from Cartoon Network, it makes perfect sense for MAD to join CN for some shenanigans of their own. But does it work?

As expected, the series is done very much in the style of Robot Chicken, stringing together a series of animated sketches which are apparently part of some kind of paper world where MAD is law. That said, one would think that Robot Chicken more than fills in that particular spot for Cartoon Network, leading one to question just how necessary MAD is.

For a good number of years now, but especially starting post-millennium, more and more television shows and the like are coming out of the woodwork showing a clear influences and even nostalgia for shows as far back as thirty years ago. Parodies on Robot Chicken, online videos such as The Angry Videogame Nerd and pretty much every movie Michael Cera’s been in rely heavily on not just pop culture knowledge from years past, but specifically childhood pop culture from years past. Whether it be a major focus or just a joke in passing, one can definitely tell that the generation who grew up on Ninja Turtles and the Super Nintendo have developed into quite the interesting man-children, creating entertainment for their fellow kind.
This still leaves something of a problem, however.

As much as I appreciate shows making reference to childhood memories, one can only go so far with memories alone. As the case is with Robot Chicken, the number of parodies they do with old cartoons and the like end up rather well done for the most part, the viewer knowing that the people in charge of that particular skit fully appreciate the source material they’re working with. However, every now and then they try to appeal to a slightly younger audience, making reference to things like anime… only to fall completely flat on their face. The anime boom hit the states around the late ‘90s/early ‘00s, which I think was a bit too late for most people currently working in the entertainment industry to have truly grown up on it. As man-childish as they have become, their opinion on anything past that time period will only come off as something an adult would say to their kid while watching TV alongside them—it just comes off as fake, is all.

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Enter Grey’s In Anime, a skit from the third episode of MAD. For the first time ever, I’m actually able to see proper references to anime on something other than YouTube. The number of in-jokes and particulars that only someone born in the ‘90s (er, I guess ’89 for me) could get and appreciate are all there in their glory. And it’s not just that episode. So far all three episodes of MAD have done an excellent job of pandering to the new generation of man-children, ripe with references old enough to be appreciated by a slightly younger audience than the [adult swim] Cartoon Network block.

With the fourth episode airing tonight, I think we can all assume that MAD will be here to stay—one of the only, if not the only, new cartoons out there I’ll be keeping up with.

Originally posted on Monday, September 27, 2010.

2012
02.06

Finish Him! – Umineko Episodes 17-26 [Foggle]

NOTE: This is about the anime adaptation. I like the visual novel – it’s good. Also, I wrote this over three years ago and acknowledge that it is very abrasive and kind of obnoxious. I’m only leaving it up for posterity. Please do not judge the rest of our blog on the merits of this particular piece.

After discovering the existence of a PS3 port/remake of the original Umineko visual novel, I remembered that — against my better judgment — I had actually finished watching the awful anime adaptation sometime in early March. Why, you ask? Don’t. So, let’s go ahead and dive right into the last ten episodes of this animated abortion!

Actually, it really is.

Episode 17 begins with Beatrice throwing a tantrum and crying because Battler doesn’t like her. That sentence alone really should be proper justification for my hatred of this series. The “mystery” proceeds as per usual, though it’s now coupled with scenes of Beatrice trying to win back Battler’s heart through good deeds. Excuse me while I drink this entire bottle of Jack Daniels at once.

Of course, this is all an elaborate trick on the part of our friendly neighborhood Golden Witch, because, you know, trying to make yourself look like a childish ignoramus (though it’s discovered later that she actually is) is the best way to trick someone into admitting defeat, even if it kills your credibility and your opponent’s perception of you in the process. And so, as Battler is about to sign the contract acknowledging the existence of witches, his long-lost sister, Ange, jumps to the left and steps to the right into 1986 and kicks everyone’s ass. Finally, I remember thinking, a character who is assertive, intelligent, and awesome. Oh, how wrong I was.

This is followed up by what is perhaps the worst line in anime history. Ange informs Battler of Beatrice’s wickedness (which he completely forgot about within the span of 2 episodes), and the latter offers up her entire plan on a silver platter just like any bad James Bond villain. “You start by acting ‘tsun’ and then switch over to ‘dere,'” she says. It took all of my might to keep the bile down at this point. There’s no way this could have been written by the guy who did Higurashi, I just can’t accept it.

And it gets worse in the next arc.

This picture pretty much sums up the final chapter.

07th Expansion and Studio DEEN really pulled out all the stops for Alliance of the Golden Witch. Everything good about the earlier story arcs is removed, while everything terrible is amplified. Ange, who I foolishly mistook for a decent character at first, turns out to be a gratingly obnoxious chronic depressive with a witch obsession (since she wants to go back in time and save her long lost brother from his untimely demise). She’s also best friends with the Seven Stakes and is bullied at school for being different. Someone call Stephenie Meyer and tell her that Ryukishi07 stole her plot-line from Winter Solstice so that she can pursue legal action and put an end to this franchise before the second season is allowed to air.

This story arc introduces Maria’s best friend in the whole wide world: her talking stuffed lion named Sakutaro, who actually managed to not make me want to repeatedly bash my head against a rock. How ironic that the best character in the show is a fucking inanimate object that talks in cutesy simplified Japanese. Oh, wait, that’s not ironic; that’s just a sign of piss-poor writing and characterization. My mistake. Anyway, Maria’s everlasting bond with Sakutaro isn’t really all that everlasting, since Rosa rips his head off after a few episodes. Then, Maria starts bawling and gets teleported into an alternate dimension in which Beatrice sorrowfully informs her that Sakutaro is dead and no magic in the world can revive him. That’s right, the all-powerful Golden Witch can conjure up murderous Playboy Bunny cosplayers and make people’s stomachs explode on command, but she can’t sew a child’s stuffed toy back together. This goes so far beyond the line of stupid that it comes dreadfully close to mouth-breather levels of mental deficiency.

I can’t believe there are people in the world who actually enjoy this garbage.

Things somehow manage to go even further downhill from here, which I didn’t think was physically possible at this point. Beatrice reincarnates Sakutaro’s spirit as a real, human child. Dressed in a lion costume. And then he and Maria travel forward in time and visit Ange in her dorm room. The Seven Stakes are there, too, and flash their panties at the screen every chance they get. You know a show is bad when a brief, objective summary of a scene can come off as scathing.

WHY?

Ange has been studying these imbeciles for years, but their sudden appearance doesn’t really change anything, and she continues to be nothing more than a useless fuckwit who deserves every bit of the bullying she receives. Goddamn, I hate Ange. Not as much as I hate the Siestas or the Stakes or human form Sakutaro, but she still sucks hard ass. So, yeah, some preppy bitches start messing with her since she made a poor grade on the previous test, and she flips shit, telling the Stakes outright to murder them. Of course, these hardened killers suddenly have an aversion to the pointless murder of innocents (this is not contradictory of their actions in previous story arcs, nope, not at all), and decide to deny her request. At this, Ange has a hissy fit and tells the Stakes to fuck off and die (at least someone finally did it), and they do. Unsurprisingly, Ange starts crying and remains useless.

Abandoned by her only friends, Ange enlists the aid of Okonogi from Higurashi (GODDAMN IT RYUKISHI WHY ARE YOU SO DETERMINED TO RUIN THAT SERIES FOR ME?) and some dude who looks eerily similar to Akasaka from Higurashi (FML) in her search for truth, which climaxes in her getting beaten nearly to death (if only they’d gone all the way) by some chick who bears an odd resemblance to Takano Miyo from Higurashi (. . .) and her assorted goons. Unfortunately for viewers, Ange suddenly figures out how to properly use magic and kills all of them. This shitty plot is so hard to follow.

MEANWHILE, IN THE PAST

How many times are they going to reuse this godawful Terminator parody sequence?

Kinzo summons the three Siestas (yes, they added another one; no, no one fucking asked for this to happen) and kills or imprisons everyone at the family meeting. We later discover that he left a telephone inside the jail cell he trapped everyone in. Did anyone in this show graduate middle school? Jesus Christ. A few episodes later, Jessica fights Ronove (the vampire butler guy) and George fights a rejected Alice In Wonderland character named Gaap, whose choice of clothing is rather impractical. These scenes are just as stupid as every other magic fight and have animation on par with your average [adult swim] cartoon.

I guess they call her “Gaap” because of the gap in her dress.

It’s also heavily implied at this point that Beatrice is Battler’s mom or something. Yeah, I don’t fucking know.

Moving on, we’ve finally made it to episode 26, the “epic” conclusion to this clusterfuck of a TV show. Things kick off with a bang, as Ange shows up out of nowhere to offer a few words of moral support to Battler before spontaneously dying after a whopping two minutes of screen time.

Now, let me see if I have this straight. The show spends the majority of seven fucking episodes detailing Ange’s struggle to discover what actually happened on Rokkenjima and go back in time to help her brother succeed in his fight against Beatrice, and all she does when she finally meets him is act as a cheerleader? And a bad one at that?

What
in
the
FUCK?

 

This whole story arc is completely pointless. If I could go back in time, I’d stop myself from even watching Umineko to begin with.

Moving on, Ange dies by having the most hardcore period of all time and Battler’s insufferable resistance to the belief in witches and magic returns due to his sister’s magical entry into his time period made possible by witches. Does this make any sense to you? I guess I should know better than to question the logic behind anything in Umineko, but this one is a real head-scratcher. Oh well, let’s just get this over with.

Grossest way to die.

Battler goes outside to confront Beatrice, where he is greeted by Kinzo, who turns into a stupid-looking giant dragon for some reason. Battler proceeds to completely destroy the dragon in five seconds flat. Dumb and pointless; just like Umineko itself!

Transformation sequence GO!

And so, the final battle between Battler and Beatrice begins! This is it, people, Battler’s finally going to kick some ass and live up to his name!

…Or he could just win an argument with her. Yeah, I guess that works, too. After he successfully provides counter-points and rebuttals to Beatrice’s claims, she is unable to refute his insinuations and gets impaled by a bunch of different sharp objects, splashing so much blood all over the place that the developers of Soldier of Fortune might tell the animators they went a bit over the top with her death.

Thankfully, there’s only one scene left in the episode. Unfortunately, it involves Bernkastel (aka Rika from Higurashi (SERIOUSLY, GUYS, STOP THAT)) and Ange discussing plans to bring down Beatrice once and for all, rendering this entire story arc completely pointless. That’s right, not only did Ange barely do shit when she finally had the chance to help her brother, but his final battle against Beatrice that ended in his victory counted for absolutely nothing. I want those 3 hours of my life back. In fact, it actually felt more like 6 hours since this show sucks so much, so I want a coupon for 6 extra hours of life, and I want it as soon as possible.

Now, I could say that Umineko no Naku Koro ni isn’t the worst anime I’ve ever seen in my life, but I’d be lying if I did. Shows like Ookami Kakushi are merely boring beyond belief and shows like Genocyber are so abjectly terrible that they just can’t help but make you laugh. Umineko is so fucking abysmal that I think it actually caused me to lose IQ points. I didn’t think When They Cry could get worse than Higurashi Rei, but I was wrong. Dead wrong. I would rather see 26 episodes of the godawful Dice Killing Chapter than ever watch any Umineko ever again. In fact, I’d say that the following picture sums up my feelings for Umineko perfectly:

Maria has the right idea.

Somebody drown these cats out in the middle of the sea.

–Foggle

Originally posted on Sunday, September 26, 2010.

2012
02.06

The Brave & The Bold is a genuine thrill! – DVD Review [Desensitized]

How does one even start to describe a show like The Brave & The Bold? If you aren’t familiar with the Silver Age of comics, the Superfriends, or the old Adam West Batman show, then I can’t imagine how anyone could explain to you what it’s like. The best way would be that it’s about campy superheroes of all kinds of shapes and sizes cracking one liners and doing battle with the forces of evil. Just imagine those old 80s action cartoons only with great writing and execution and instead of the headache inducing cliches, you get a fresh and original take on everyone’s favorite bat-obsessed hero.

First of all for those of you “purists” out there who have never seen this show, let me just say this: The Brave & The Bold is not Batman: The Animated Series, and that is a very good (no, it’s GREAT) thing. While BTAS is considered by many as the best action cartoon (or just show) off all time, B&TB is not trying to be that show. Instead it is written as an epic adventure with a crazy cast of characters, perfectly crafted humor, and surprisingly strong writing. B&TB benefits so much from not having to outdo the great show from the 90s, that in many fans minds it is it’s equal for purely being high quality on it’s own merits without aping what has come before. High praise indeed.

It even separates itself from the older campy material by throwing in rather dark turns and some high quality performances you might not expect from a show of this type, making each episode a truly unpredictable experience. So what you get is an unpredictable mash up of everything that is great about superheroes, adventure shows, and comedy in one tight package. In summation, if you’re not watching this show, you really are missing one of the best shows of the past decade.

In these episodes you’ll see Batman team up with the Blue Beetle to rescue an alien world full of cute globs, fight against a giant planet controlled by Despero with Guy Gardner in a giant suit of Green Lantern armor, become a spirit and possess Speedy (Green Arrow’s sidekick) in order to save his body and stop the Gentleman Ghost, turn into a giant bat monster and kick the ever loving stuffing out of a giant warship and an evil ninja shadow clan, and travel to a parallel dimension to rescue the Red Hood (?!) from himself (!?)… And that’s only the tip of the iceberg.

The adventures themselves are spectacular, but what really works is the fact that Batman rarely goes through them alone. Every partner (ranging from Deadman to Aquaman) Batman teams up with is terrific in how they all vary tremendously from each other and have their own distinct personalities. Truthfully, this is as much their show as it is Batman’s show, and helps really make it unique from not only other Batman shows (barring one season of The Batman that was… pretty sub par) but most other action shows currently on the air. Personally, I think if you ever were a kid or have the spirit of adventure in your heart (No, I’m not apologizing for that cheesy line) then there really is no way you can dislike this show, and you should look into it ASAP.

This DVD set includes the first 13 episodes from the show’s first season. There are no actual bonus features, and the packaging is pretty much frills free. However, the entry price is low and EVERY SINGLE episode on here is worth the cost. Normally it would be hard to recommend something like this if it was a weaker show, but the amount of entertainment and replay value on this set is so high, that it really doesn’t matter. The video and sound quality is crystal clear, meaning the only negative against the set itself would be the lack of extras.

So what you’ve got here is a high quality show for a low price meaning that it’s pretty easy to see that I give this my fullest recommendation. I guarantee you will not be disappointed. Just don’t expect anything extra other than the episodes on this set.

Originally posted on Saturday, September 25, 2010.

2012
02.06

2 Stupid Dogs is Thankfully Not Too Stupid to be Entertaining….Oh, and Super Secret Squirrel is Fun, Too! [Ensatsu-Ken]

 

Ah, yes, Hanna-Barbera, the legendary animation studio that was originally spawned from MGM, which brought us some of the most popular cartoons over the last half century, including series that have since been littered into American pop-culture like The Flintstones, The Jetsons, Scooby-Doo: Where are you?, Johnny Quest, Top Cat, The Yogi Bear Show, and The Huckleberry Hound Show, just to name a few well-known examples. Of course, when you think of Hanna-Barbera, it would be one of the aforementioned shows, among other classics, that would most likely come to your mind, while something like 2 Stupid Dogs would pass right over your head without you even realizing it. And this is for an understandable reason, as the particular show which is subject to this review came around the early 1990’s. Now, just saying that alone doesn’t mean much, but for Hanna-Barbera, after a bit of a name change and some new versions/spin-offs of their old classics, this period of time was when the company all of a sudden decided to try to go for some new, fresher, and more “hip” (at least for the time) shows that were radically different from anything that they had been known for before. Along with shows such as Wake, Rattle, and Roll and SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron, 2 Stupid Dogs was one of the cartoons subject to H-B’s new direction.

Now, I don’t want to get bogged down with a whole retrospective here, since this IS meant to be a review of the show in the title, as well as a bit of a mini-review of the Super Secret Squirrel shorts that aired with it. However, I do want to stress the point that, despite the series being mostly forgotten today, I largely see it as one the in-between chapters or links between the classic style of H-B cartoons and their transition into the modern Cartoon Cartoons that many kids grew up with and loved on the Cartoon Network channel. I consider it to be this for 2 particular reasons: one reason is that it shows a lot of experimentation with the new style that they were going for (which would be further evolved and fully developed with shows such as Dexter’s Laboratory and Johnny Bravo) while still retaining some classic, more slap-stick elements of the type of humor found in H-B’s previous shows; the second reason is that 2SD and SSS had much of the staff that would later be working on said Cartoon Cartoons on hand for the project, which of course means that 2SD could be attributed into their experience of working with a new style. Key examples of the latter reason are Craig McCracken (of Power Puff Girls fame, as well as Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends) and Genndy Tartakovsky (do I really even need to say what this guy is famous for? Because, if you really don’t know, then you shouldn’t even be reading this review).

Before going ahead and cutting to the chase, I should also mention that 2SD was mainly directed by Donovan Cook, who is most known for his work on directing the Disney animated features Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers and Return to Never Land.

Now, as for the actual series itself, summing up the premise can either by the simplest thing or the most convoluted thing. I’ll choose to go the simple way and say that it basically lives up to its namesake. The show follows 2 nearly brain-dead dogs who aren’t even given actual names, but instead have come to be referred to as “Little Dog,” voiced by Mark Schiff, and “Big Dog,” voiced by Brad Garrett (and they are barely even “referred” to with any form of individualization with the series itself). Little dog is a hyperactive character who usually has an appetite for just about any type of food, and who also does a majority of the talking in the series between him and Big Dog (the latter of who barely ever talks at all). Interestingly enough he actually shows some odd signs of intelligence at times, such as in the occasional form of knowing something about history or something of common human knowledge. Also interesting is how he is shown to be more easily scared, especially of cats (who Big Dog usually has to scare away). On the other hand, Big Dog is a lazy, mostly unspoken character who usually tends to just follow Little Dog around. His characteristics include him being usually indifferent towards his surroundings (but nevertheless still aware of them) and also oddly showcasing brief moments of intelligence in which he will either mutter or quote some sort of philosophical phrase.

Both characters mesh very well together, and have an interesting chemistry about them that just makes them fun to watch in action. Besides these 2, most other characters consist of a few recurring ones who show up in different roles in various episodes, the 2 of whom come up the most being Kenny Fowler (a geeky kid who occasionally requests the dogs to help him with his problems) and Hollywood (a big beefy man who often tries to discipline the dogs, and sometimes other characters, in the context of the theme of his role in each episode that features him). The recurring characters are entertaining enough to watch, but Hollywood deserves special mention for how much comedic value he brings to the table in each and every single one of his different roles, and also for his famous running-gag line: “Isn’t that cute? BUT ITS WRONG!”

Now, as for the actual show itself, it’s not so easy to sum up its level of quality. I can safely say that I loved every minute of the series when I watched it as a kid, and for better or worse, I still got a lot of entertainment value out of it on my reviewing of most episodes. That said, part of its appeal to me back in the day was how it felt a bit rebellious at the time to the traditional, and occasionally somewhat more “educational” or parent-friendly feel of a lot of cartoons appearing at the time. As I did mention, the show was produced at a time of experimentation for H-B’s animation studio, and 2SD had plenty experimenting going on with it. For one thing, the show doesn’t ever really have a completely defined feel. While this may seem like a complaint, I actually find that it works in the show’s favor with how varied its episodes can be. For instance, there are episodes like “The Rise and Fall of the Big Dog,” in which Big Dog is mistaken for a foreign ambassador, while Little Dog is convinced that said ambassador is his old pal, rightfully living up to show’s namesake. By contrast, episodes like Hobo Hounds and the episodes involving the recurring character Red are radically different, with the former being a brilliant homage to/parody of the black-and-white cartoons screened before feature-length films in the 1920’s-1930’s, while the latter are an equally fantastic group of episodes which successfully mock the children’s fables that many of us grew up with. In fact, mocking popular children’s fables has been one of the most popular forms of parody in American cartoons for more than half a century, and 2SD’s takes on them are among the best that H-B has ever done with those types of episodes. There are, of course, various other episodes that are still thoroughly entertaining today and hold a good deal of re-watch value, ranging from things like “Bathroom Humor” to “Family Values” (an ingenious parody of The Brady Bunch).

That being said, this doesn’t mean that every episode is gold, though. In fact, there were several instances in which I found the show hasn’t quite aged well. Like I said, at the time of its original airing it was rebellious and seemed hilarious to me no matter what, but upon recent viewings, there are episodes like “Sheep Dogs” and “Love” that just don’t seem to hold up very much. There is nothing truly bad about such episodes, but a lot of their jokes will just come off as plane and uninspired by today’s standards, after such styles of humor have been evolved upon by even the most standard of modern cartoons. One of this show’s general weaknesses, which only really become more apparent in the less entertaining episodes, is its overall lack of solid structure to any given episode. As I said, I liked the show’s good variety on the whole, but I do like to see some consistent structure within individual episodes, but this is where the series falls too short for me, since the writers clearly focused more on cramming in as many jokes and humorous instances as possible, that the episodes themselves start in one place and then takes completely random turns after that. To be fair, though, it at least keeps things unpredictable, and considering that each episode itself is only roughly about 7 minutes long, most episodes are still able to keep themselves entertaining long enough to keep the viewer interested throughout each of their run-times.

Having said all of this, I still can’t help but stress how very enjoyable 2SD is when it’s doing things right, which is more often than I usually give it credit for when I’m not actually watching it. I suppose I could say that for everything about it that I find hasn’t aged well or serves as a negative element to the show, I can easily think of more good things to outweigh those factors. For one thing, the episodes themselves may lack the more well-structured and sophisticated styles of later H-B productions such as Dexter’s Laboratory or Johnny Bravo, but that same apparent set-back also gives it the advantage of being able to get away with a relentless amount of jokes that can still work extremely well due to coming out completely unexpected, and as a result makes the writing seem sharper than it actually really may be. And of course, while it doesn’t choose to follow the very classic but narrower structures of previous H-B cartoons, it still carries the same charm in its bits of slap-stick humor. Overall, putting nostalgic value aside, “2 Stupid Dogs” is certainly a mixed bag, but I can safely say that most of the content of that bag consists of good things.

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

As promised, I can’t forget about the fun little rodent that ran with the dogs. Super Secret Squirrel was actually a revival AND somewhat of a parody of H-B’s Secret Squirrel from the 1960’s, which was itself a spin-off of The Atom Ant/Secret Squirrel Show. In 1994, H-B decided to revive the series as SSS, producing 13 new short episodes to air between the 2SD episodes within a single collective episode. Together with his trusty sidekick Morocco Mole, Super Secret Squirrel (who is usually just referred to as Secret for short) is tasked with tackling bizarre cases with some truly over-the-top super villains behind them.

To be honest, there really isn’t that much for me to say about the show. To give my general thoughts on it, I find it to be at least just as fun as 2SD is. Like 2SD, it does show a lot of experimentation with less traditional forms of gags and humor, but unlike 2SD, it does tend to play it safe more of the time and stick to its own very defined form of humor. It is comprised of slap-stick humor mixed in with various puns (some are very clever, some are just pretty “meh,” and a few can possibly cause you to cringe). As an example, in one gag, Secret gets smacked by an inflated balloon and Morocco makes the comment: “Gee, inflation sure hits hard these days.” Honestly, though, the show seems very self-aware of its campy nature, and that in itself gives it an undeniable charm.

It’s worth mentioning that the original iterations of Secret Squirrel and Morocco Mole were voiced by the legendary Mel Blanc and the extremely talented Paul Frees, respectively. Even for a series of mere shorts, that would be a lot to live up to for Jess Harnell and Jim Cummings who voiced the new iterations of those 2 characters, respectively as well. Of course, as you would imagine, while they do clearly try their best to impersonate both former voice actors to the best of their efforts, the difference is still as clear as day. But, even so, its because of the big difference that it’s easier to look at the efforts of the 2 voice actors as making the characters their own roles, rather than just trying to pretend to be another VA altogether, and I personally find that to be a fairly satisfying result.

That about sums up my thoughts on Super Secret Squirrel; I know its not much of a review, but I did already say it would be a miniature version of a review rather than a full one. Overall, it’s a fun deviation from the plotlines of the dogs, and it really helps each full collective episode that the shorts are featured in feel more versatile and simply more enjoyable on the whole. Hell, if there were a single DVD of the collected SSS shorts available on the market for no more than $10, I’d certainly buy it and felt that my money was well spent. I’d also gladly buy it with a collection of the entire series of 2SD, and for that package I’d be willing to fork over a considerably higher amount. In my eyes, looking past just nostalgia factor, neither series is near perfect, but both series are still charmingly fun. I wouldn’t recommend them to anyone who didn’t grow up around the late 80’s and 90’s and who weren’t exposed to those sorts of cartoons at an early age, but for those of us who have had that disoriented but quirky style of animation engraved into our early childhood life memories, then consider both 2 Stupid Dogs and Super Secret Squirrel to be a pleasant blast from the past.

Yours Truly,
Ensatsu-ken

Originally posted on Thursday, August 12, 2010.

2012
02.06

Black Rock Shooter: Not Nearly As Badass Or Manly As The Title Implies [Foggle]

Going in, I expected an awesome action extravaganza about Samuel L. Jackson running around Tokyo with an unrealistically large assortment of firearms and explosives blowing shit up with a soundtrack composed entirely by Motorhead. After all, what else could an hour-long OVA entitled Black Rock Shooter possibly be about? The friendship shared by two middle school girls, apparently.

This pretty much sums it up.

What we’ve got here is a slice of life school drama masquerading as a trippy fantasy action movie. It doesn’t help that the trailer is composed almost entirely of fight scenes or that there is pretty much no fan or official art depicting anything other than the characters’ alternate reality personas.

So…
The title is misleading.
The trailer is misleading.
The art pertaining to it is misleading.

But, disregarding all of that, is it any good? Well… yes and no.

The story begins with rejected Magical Touhou: Lucky K-On Witches’ Kindergarten – A’s character Mato Kuroi getting ready for her first day at a new school. Yes, this is yet another “moe” anime, though it actually makes sense in this context, since the characters are in Junior High and not college. This, unfortunately, does not stop the producers from throwing some (thankfully light) fanservice into the mix on occasion (really, guys?). It isn’t long before she meets Yomi Takanashi, and they become good friends very quickly.

The scenes involving Mato and Yomi being best buds would serve to make the rest of the OVA more effective if they didn’t feel so rushed. More than half of their friendly interactions are shoehorned into a montage, removing any and all relatability from these situations that could be emotionally charged under other circumstances.

Soon, the inseparable pair begins to drift apart. While this is extremely abrupt and there is almost nothing building up to it, these scenes are easily the best in the feature. Mato, though she is unaware of this, begins neglecting Yomi, and once the latter disappears from the picture, she becomes horribly confused and begins feeling isolated and regretful. The raw emotion compounded into these segments is conveyed very well and would have genuinely constituted a few wonderful moments had the establishment of their friendship earlier on not felt so amateurish. It’s also too bad that this topic was already covered this year (and to better effect) by Toy Story 3.

This is all supplemented by numerous, random, and very brief sequences of the main characters’ alternate world selves fighting over… something. The action scenes are all fairly lame with the exception of the last one, which is suitably over the top and fun to watch. It is unfortunate that these alternate world segments – for which the OVA is named – are all entirely inconsequential and have a total running time equivalent to that of the movie’s ending credits. One of these is literally a three second shot of a desert spliced in between two school scenes for absolutely no reason. Several of them feature a character whose alternate persona does nothing whatsoever aside from stare off into the distance for 15 seconds or so.

The ending and moral have both been done before… in Pokemon: The First Movie. Black Rock Shooter basically tells you that if you cry hard enough, your missing and/or dead friends will come back to you. This would be relatively easy to ignore if all the loose ends were tied up by the conclusion, but that is not so. There will likely be a sequel sometime in the near future (though nothing has been announced yet, as far as I know), and I can assure you that I will not be watching it unless it fixes all the problems from this episode.

The art is fine if you like the generic “moe” style. Nothing too spectacular, but nothing really awful, either. The animation varies greatly; some scenes are amazingly fluid while others are choppy and terrible. Ironically, it is usually the supposed “eye-candy” action scenes that get the short end of the stick.

The voice acting in Black Rock Shooter is pretty good. Mato’s actress especially does a great job of making her character’s emotions seem “real.” While the others’ voices aren’t quite as excellent, it’s all very professional-sounding and the performances are enjoyable. The music doesn’t fare as well, however. I only really noticed two songs in the entire OVA (outside of your standard ambient background soundtrack), neither of which I liked. The first, played during the friendship montage, is a teary-eyed, nostalgic piece and, as far as I can tell, is sung entirely in Engrish (and I hate teary-eyed, nostalgic pieces – especially when sung in Engrish). The second, played during the ending credits, sounds like it was recorded by a Japanese Green Day cover band (and I hate Green Day – especially when played by cover bands).

Overall, you could do a lot worse than Black Rock Shooter. There’s not much that’s actually wrong with it, even though all it really boils down to in the end is a great story told poorly.

TL;DR
Story: 6/10 (It had a chance to really connect with the audience on an emotional level, but instead felt like it was hastily slapped together at the last minute)
Characters: 5/10 (While we’re offered lots of interesting insight into Mato’s life, she’s the only character who really develops at all)
Art: 5/10 (Standard “moe” style)
Animation: 7/10 (Can change from awesome to awful in a matter of seconds)
Voice Acting (Japanese): 8/10 (The voice cast did a really good job with what they were given)
Music: 3/10 (Nothing really memorable)
Overall: 6/10 (Feel free to watch it if you’re bored; it’s nothing amazing but you might like parts of it)

–Foggle

Originally posted on Sunday, August 1, 2010.

2012
02.06

Tiny Toon Adventures Specials: Pt. 1 [SNES Chalmers]


Okay, it’s my turn to take a whack at one of these, and for my first one, I chose to do one of my favorite childhood cartoons, Tiny Toon Adventures. Rather than doing an episode that is regularly regarded as great by fans, like Animaniacs! or Sepulveda Boulevard, I decided to do the rarely spoken of specials that aired after the series had ended it’s normal run; Tiny Toon Adventures Spring Break Special and Night Ghoulery.

First off, both of these hour-long episodes aired in primetime on Fox; Spring Break Special on Sunday, March 27th, 1994 and Night Ghoulery, strangely enough, on Sunday, May 28th, 1995, five months before Halloween. Reportedly, both of these specials only aired once and for unexplained reasons were never to be seen again(Why Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network never re-ran the episodes is beyond me). I myself did not see these episodes until very recently. I should also take this time to apologize for the picture quality of the images I’m posting here, particularly Spring Break Special’s, because the copies I had to work with were taped off a Fox affiliate in North Carolina(a promo even mentions that a brand new episode of The Simpsons would be premeiring that Thursday, March 31st; this episode would be the fifth season ep. Bart Gets an Elephant).

Now to the good stuff, with Spring Break Special up first, and Night Ghoulery coming sometime soon. The premise of the episode is explained in the newly animated intro, with the students at Acme Looniversity looking forward to a break from school in order to spend a week in the Southern sun in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. After this modified intro, we get a mock infomercial from Plucky, who during this trip to Ft. Lauderdale is planning on making a ton of cash with his new Tan Meister 6000, a tanning chair. It then cuts to Buster and Babs Bunny, who are covering the trip on the Tiny Toons Music Television network, which is a parody of MTV’s famous Spring Break coverage(and was also featured in an earlier episode of the same name). The events leading up to the departure, from Hampton’s intial wish to stay home and partake in spring cleaning, to the trip being revealed as to being a 8000 mile trip, end with the Tiny Toons finally hitting the road singing a song to the tune of the theme.


As the bus heads south for Florida, they come up on two Beavis and Butthead look-a-likes named Beaver and Hoghead, who are hitch-hiking to Ft. Lauderdale. Hoghead notices that the bus is the Tiny Toons’, and that their show stinks, which Beaver replies to with “Yeah, we like shows that stink!”, followed by the pair doing an exaggerated parody of their trademark laughs.

Meanwhile, while the gang is headed south, Elmyra has plans of her own. She is shown in a lair with a video monitor watching Buster and Babs preparing to leave, and she notes that she is constantly after the two “hippity hoppers”. However, her plans turn out to be more sinister, as she is looking to capture the best hippity hopper of all, the Easter Bunny, partially for his cuteness, but mostly for his candy. Elmyra then goes on to explain that after some investigation, she has determined that the Easter Bunny is none other than Buster Bunny himself. She then sets out to capture Buster, first getting some help from Tommy Lee Jones as a Federal Marshal, giving him Harrison Ford in exchange(a parody of the film The Fugitive).

The TTA gang arrive at Ft. Lauderdale, first amazed at their 5-star hotel, but the truck carrying the billboard of the hotel pulls away, revealing a hotel that is a dump. Plucky sets out on his own to try and sell his Tan Meister 6000, but after no success, he gives up the venture to chase after a Baywatch-inspired female duck, but gets dragged along with Hamton to hang out with Hamton’s grandparents, who live in a retirement community called Jeriatric Park, which he eventually ends up escaping from.

Meanwhile, Elmyra and Jones arrive at the hotel and proceed to give chase to Buster and Babs, who eventually find out what Elmyra’s intentions are and come up with a plan of their own, which involves them traveling to the White House to find the real Easter Bunny. But when the Easter Bunny turns out to be Rush Limbaugh in a costume, they continue running, using their Acme Loo knowledge to draw a tunnel on the Washington Monument to escape. Upon arrival back at Ft. Lauderdale, Buster and Babs put a set of bunny ears on an orca whale and convince Elmyra that this is the Easter Bunny, which turns into a Free Willy parody ending with the whale jumping over and purposefully landing on Elmyra during it’s getaway.

On the last night of the trip, the gang throw a party, complete with a performance by Micheal Molten-Lava. Hamton shows up in a limo, revealing to Plucky that he sold his Tan Meister 6000 as a hot dog cooker, Elmyra shows up and resumes her chase, and Plucky continues looking for the female duck, which, thanks to Buster, ends up with Plucky in bunny ears being dragged away by Elmyra, and the female duck hooking up with Hamton.


The gang heads back to Acme Acres, along the way coming across a pair named Rank and Stinky, parodies of Ren and Stimpy. Beaver and Hoghead return, this time warning Rank and Stinky to look out for the bus or they’ll get hit. Rank responds “Get out of here, you disgusting excuse for a cartoon!”, and not heeding the warning, they get ran over by the Tiny Toons’ bus. Onboard the bus, the gang wraps up the events of the trip in song, and explain that while the trip ended too soon, they’ve only got three more months until summer vacation. The special wraps up with Plucky shown in a cage in Elmyra’s room, and Babs and Buster discussing how dumb it was for Elmyra to suspect Buster of being the Easter Bunny, with Buster winking at the camera as soon as Babs walks away, which leaves the truth of the whole matter up to the viewer.

One thing that I walked away with was just how much the TTA crew really did like using Elmyra towards the end of the shows run. She appears often, being more of a main character than the supporting character she was originally supposed to be, and at times appears downright hell-bent on capturing Buster and/or the Easter Bunny. Another thing of note is Buster himself, as this was after his original voice actor, Charlie Adler, had departed and was replaced by John Kassir. To me, Kassir’s Buster voice is really quite flat, and not nearly as high-pitched and cartoony as Adler’s was.

And of course, what would this special be without the parodies and pop-culture references. Aside from some of the parodies already mentioned, we also get references to such things as Nightline, Howard Stern, Rodney Dangerfield, The Clintons, Rush Limbaugh, Ross Perot, Sonny the Cocoa Puffs bird, Roseanne and Tom Arnold, Jaws, Micheal Bolton, and Micheal Jordan. And with special cameos, we also get appearences by Pinky and the Brain, who appear in a cage in Elmyra’s basement, and Yakko, Wakko, and Dot, who are being chased in a scene at the White House by Ralph the security guard. There’s also a few music videos thrown in to keep it faithful to a MTV spring break special parody, which include Sgt. Plucky’s Lonely Hearts Club Band singing “Nothin’ Could Be More Fun” and Elmyra singing a parody of The Police’s hit “‘ll Be Watching You” entitled “I’ll Be Chasing You”.

Overall, this special was pretty fun to watch, even if Elmyra does get annoying after a while. Some of the exploits are remeniscent of How I Spent My Vacation, particularly what happens with Plucky and Hamton. The animation itself, done here by Wang Film Productions, is pretty good, and quite a bit of a step-up from their work earlier in the series. Yes, it’s no TMS, but it’s a heck of a lot better than any of the Kennedy-animated episodes.

The special is a bit hard to find though, since unlike other specials like How I Spent My Vacation, It’s a Wonderful Tiny Toons Christmas, and even Night Ghoulery, it never got a home video release. It is up on YouTube and it is available for download in various places if you look, but unfortunately the quality is terrible, with the visuals becoming nothing but static in some parts. Hopefully WB will come to their senses and finish the season sets with the special on it, or release it as part of it’s own set.

Originally posted on Sunday, August 1, 2010.

2012
02.06

Daffy Duck’s Easter Egg-Citement: Cause Not Everything Looney is Gold [Avaitor]

If you know me, you know that I love the Looney Tunes. And why not? The cartoons from the late 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s, as well as some early 60’s ones, were constantly hilarious and have a lot of replay value., which has helped them survive the test of time for generations. My grandparents liked them, my parents liked them, and while my sister wasn’t as big of a fan, I definitely grew to like them while watching these old cartoons on Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, Kids’s WB, and wherever else aired them(and back in the early-to-mid 90’s, finding a channel without Looney Tunes is like finding something other than SpongeBob or iCarly on Nick nowadays; not very likely).

Daffy Duck has got to be my favorite of the vast library of Looney Tunes characters. Hell, I would go as far to say that he is my favorite cartoon character, period. His cartoons seem a little more personal to me than Bugs Bunny’s and he is able to steal the show whenever he arrives. Possibly my favorite cartoon featuring Daffy is Friz Frleeng’s “Yankee Doodle Daffy”, where he plays an agent trying to sell his kid to talent scout Porky Pig as Porky tries to head off to his vacation. How easily Daffy changes emotions to get his way and to bother Porky I consider to be one great bit of acting, thanks in part by Freleng’s staff and equally to the talents of voice legend Mel Blanc, who played not just Daffy and Porky, but just about every major Looney Tunes character.

As much as I like Friz Freleng’s cartoons, though, not every he touches is gold, which is why I’m writing this up. The Warner Brothers cartoon studio closed down in 1963 as the studio couldn’t afford to keep making theatrical cartoons anymore- ever since the end of the 50’s-start of the 60’s, theaters stopped paying for cartoons to be made alongside movies as animation for television was becoming a more viable market, so Warner’s cartoons already were cutting back on talent and length. Freleng then formed DePatie-Freleng Enterprises with partner David DePatie, which made both theatrical and televised cartoons on a smaller budget, most notably the Pink Panther of all characters.

Warner saw the potential in making new Looney Tunes cartoons at this new studio, and got Freleng to agree to make new shorts for them with his studio. Consider the fact that Friz had been with their cartoon division since nearly the beginning and had won four Academy Awards for the studio, more than any of the other directors there, it would be safe to assume that Looney Tunes was embedded in Freleng‘s person. Even though the cartoons made from this era were not very good and DePatie-Freleng would end their partnership with Warner in 1966, this wouldn’t be the last time we would see Friz or the Looneys from Warner.

Again, in the mid 70’s, Warner brought Freleng and fellow fan-favorite director Chuck Jones back to make new Looney Tunes shorts, TV specials, and movies. Most of these weren’t too good- the shorts were mostly forgettable attempts to revive the creative fervor of the cartoonist’s golden ages, while the movies had shatter-shot narratives hastly combined with some of the classic cartoons they made. The TV specials were often either one or the other in that regard, and like the shorts and movies, often have weak animation, dull writing, and less inspired voice work from the usually more active Mel Blanc. While it is always good to see Bugs, Daffy, and the gang in action, it would be better to watch some of the original cartoons again than to look over these.

I recently took it upon myself to watch one of these specials, Daffy Duck’s Easter Egg-Citement, made in 1980 featuring 3 unrelated segments starring the titular poultry, made by who else, but good old Isadore “Friz” Freleng. You can find this on volume 6 of the Looney Tunes Golden Collection, which collects various cartoons made during the age of classic Looney Tunes cartoons, as well as various other bits made starring the characters for good measure. Frankly, this special should never be seen again.

What’s wrong with this special, you ask? Well, for one, Friz has no shame to take characters and situations previously used by other Warner directors without adding anything interesting or fun to the table.

The special opens with Daffy correcting an unseeable animator who loves to mess with the duck. This happens during each wraparound segment and grows increasingly tedious as the gags go along. The animator tends to color Daffy differently as well as paint a watery background for Daffy to fall into, and even redraws him as a flower!

Isn’t that hilarious? I liked it better when Chuck Jones used all of these gags in the 7 minute masterpiece “Duck Amuck” nearly 25 years earlier.

Yes, we start this special off by reusing a series of gags from one of the most popular cartoons ever made, which Freleng didn’t even make! Great start, am I right?

Part of what made “Duck Amuck” so funny was that you didn’t expect for a mad animator to mess around with Daffy the first time you saw it. From the opening credits and the first few seconds of footage of the cartoon, it looked like Daffy would be one of the Three Musketeers. It’s not until discovering that there wasn’t any scenery past the first bit that it would be easier to guess what would happen to the Duck, and things only got better from there. Here, we start off in a generic screen with Daffy already ordering out commands. You can easily guess what is going to happen to Daffy throughout right from the start.

On top of that, the gags used in these wraparound sequences just aren’t funny. Many of the gags come from “Duck Amuck” and it’s sister short, “Rabbit Rampage”, which puts Bugs in a similar predicament(it‘s also worth noting that this cartoon is available on the same disc as the special I‘m writing about). That cartoon may have had a similar premise, but the jokes are more original, Bugs gave a different albeit equally agitated performance, and the ending reveal felt more satisfactory9finally, Elmer beat that swewy wabbit!). These segments have no originality or redeeming factors to speak of.

After an average opening, we cut to more Daffy/random animator antics when Foghorn Leghorn walks in all of a sudden and gives Daffy a script and tells him to rehearse his line. As entertaining as Foghorn can be, this wasn’t a good bit. Daffy barely handles it when he is told to do something for Bugs or Jack Warner, so why should he take directions from a less popular character than Foghorn, and why even use the rooster, anyway? They could have added in Bugs, maybe Porky, maybe even Elmer or Yosemite Sam, but Friz adds in a character that he had personally not worked with(Foghorn was mostly a Robert McKimson character) to move the story along. Again, why?

It turns out the first of our three brand new cartoons, entitled “The Yolk’s on You”, starts off with Foghorn heading into his egg factory where he tells the chickens to laid a bunch of colorful eggs for Easter. The fan favorite Miss Prissy is told to laid turquoise eggs, but being the screw-up she is makes a golden one by mistake. She throws it outside where Daffy and Sylvester are seen together searching for food in trash cans. Daffy sees the gold egg and hides it for himself, while Sylvester gets wise and catches it behind Daffy’s back, leading the two to go on a wild goose egg(well, chicken egg) chase to obtain it, all done in not-so-glorious limited animation. Because this is a cartoon and neither character are seemingly favored here, neither one wins the egg at the end of the episode.

Instead, Daffy makes the “smart” decision to hide the egg back it where it came from, in Miss Prissy’s coop. As soon as they do though, all of the eggs popped out today are taken by an egg company, and it ends with Daffy and Sylvester searching through each of the eggs made today.

So Daffy Duck, Foghorn Leghorn, and Sylvester the cat all appear in this cartoon. What a mix! Having Daffy and Sylvester be together is a bit of a novelty, since Mel Blanc uses very similar voices for the two characters, but you can’t tell since Daffy’s is sped up before his cartoons reached the public(I don’t know if Warner still does this with Daffy’s current appearances today, but you can tell that they don’t do that with Tweety, who went through a similar process. Instead of sounding like a sweet little bird, most of Tweety’s modern voice actors sound like a grown man trying to sound like a sweet little bird, which I just find creepy). Funny thing is, this isn’t the first time the two appeared together in such large quantities. In Chuck Jones’ much sharper short “The Scarlet Pumpernickel”, Daffy plays the protagonist while Sylvester plays the antagonist.

Meanwhile, Sylvester and Foghorn have appeared together in the also better cartoon “Crowing Pains”, which is also available on the same disc in this particular Golden Collection. Although Foghorn doesn’t appear again in the cartoon after the opening, this is still worth noting because I gave you at least two other cartoons worth watching instead of this shit.
If there’s one positive I can say about the cartoon, is that it is nice to see Sylvester be a supporting character in a cartoon without having to chase a smaller animal again. After the studio closed, pretty much all endeavors starring the cat would have him chase an animal based on instinct or hunger, and that animal usually would be Tweety. True, most people might remember Sylvester best for chasing Tweety or Speedy Gonzales, but people often tend to forget that Sylvester has a fully alive personality outside of these cuddyl, clever creatures, and while Freleng found great success having Sylvester chase them(three of his four Oscar wins, “Tweetie Pie”, “Speedy Gonzales”, and “Birds Anonymous”, were Sylvester chase pictures), but Sylvester is one of the few characters who the three major directors from that time period(Freleng, Jones, and McKimson) all seemed to like using, for different results.

Freleng often had the cat be an obsessive chaser, but wouldn’t be afraid to use Sylvester’s obsessive side over his clumsy one for a change(“Birds Anonymous” is probably the defining example of this); Jones had Sylvester be a simple house cat, one who usually didn’t talk; McKimson developed Sylvester a bit by giving him a son to fight for, and made things a little interesting by having Sylvester Jr be ashamed of his father‘s misgivings. I’d recommend watching “Canned Feud” or any short with him alongside Elmer Fudd or Porky Pig to see what I mean.

Now the second short is one that instantly made me groan. “The Chocolate Chase” has Daffy keep an eye on a chocolate bunny making factory’s inventory in Mexico to make sure that the local mice don’t steal from it. Since the other mice aren’t fast enough to run past Daffy to get to the bunnies, they call upon who else but Speedy Gonzales, the fastest mouse in all of Mexico. Since Daffy is big and Speedy is little and fast, you can tell who wins for the remainder of the cartoon.

I was expecting something really horrible here because one of the series of Looney Tunes cartoons made while DePatie-Freleng handled the production of the cartoons were shorts with Daffy and Speedy. These are among the worst cartoons made in the Warner animation canon. Daffy was written as an asshole for no reason other to have some sort of conflict, while Speedy would provoke him with unfunny dialogue, and the chases would often be done very sloppily and with reused gags. Again, these were mostly McKimson projects, so it’s surprising to see Freleng take this idea straight from these cartoons.

For some reason though, this isn’t as bad as your average Daffy/Speedy cartoon. Granted, it is by no means good, either- it mostly reuses gags from “Speedy Gonzales” with Daffy in Sylvester’s shoes- but Daffy is a little more likable here than he usually is. In your average Daffy/Speedy cartoon, Daffy shows up in Mexico for no real reason and continually messes with Speedy again, for no real reason. Here, Daffy is just trying to do his job, when Speedy comes in to interfere with it. Since Daffy loses and becomes a chocolate duck at the end, I guess this makes Speedy the unlikable asshole at the end, if anyone. Well, for the most part, anyway. Daffy does except the mice’s offerings of a bag full of pesos as payment for some bunnies, but doesn’t hand them any back. It is a dick move but it’s not Daffy’s fault he can’t give them any of the inventory.

Daffy still doesn’t really act like Daffy, however. When Speedy speeds by, he tries to catch him but fails along the way, often without a clever remark. This is fine for Sylvester, who usually remains silent in Freleng’s chase cartoons, but Daffy has a tongue as silver as a shiny spoon, but he doesn’t really get to use it here. Daffy fights back, but his means(a giant net and a fast moped) are tired and uninventive. Usually Daffy is more clever than this, but I just don’t think Freleng cared enough to come up with better ways for him to try to get Speedy at this point.

The last short, “Daffy Flies North”, is somewhat reminiscent of some of Daffy’s earlier cartoons, where he was the pray and had to outsmart hunters such as Porky or Elmer. He flies north along with a pack of ducks who are drawn similar to him, but complains to the head of the pack because he doesn’t see the point of flying north for the spring and south for the winter. Why not try east and west instead? This is a stupid argument, but it is probably something Daffy would do. There’s only so much he can take in being an accessory; Daffy always has to be first!

So Daffy leaves the pack and checks out his new environment. He tries to find a way north by hitchhiking, but the only car that stops is one full of hunters and hunting dogs(Ha ha. Very funny.). After a minute of equally unfunny gags in which Daffy tries to find a way to get a ride, he finds a horse that I swear looks like a camel eating grass out in a field, and Daffy’s new goal is to tame it so he can ride it north. Can Friz spare us the agony of seeing Daffy attempt to tame a horse to reach is goal?

He can’t.

Now we get some very unfunny jokes where Daffy tries to get the horse to take him north. One bit actually has him fall in water and has Daffy emerge blue from it. Was the water supposed to be paint? Was there really not enough money in the budget to let Daffy look a little wet so they decided to let him come out in the same design but just painted blue to make him look wet? I don’t know, but this scene pisses me off more than any other. Especially because he falls in water in at least 3 other points in the cartoon.

This is the worst of the three shorts because even compared to other two, it’s the least inventive and least interesting. I can’t list any specific cartoons similar to it on the top of my head, but I also can’t name one bit that made me chuckle or even think that it was the least bit inspired.

Thankfully after this suck fest we only have one more wraparound short that caps off the show. After messing around with Daffy some more, the animator draws him into an Easter egg that has a note saying “Don’t open until next Easter”.

And I won’t. Won’t open it next Easter. Or the next after. Or the next after. Or ever, actually. How far south could Friz go in the span of nearly 2 decades? As much as I love the Looney Tunes, I think I would be better off without crap like this sullying the good name of Termite Terrace.

This isn’t Easter, but I felt like finally watching this special in it’s full after owning the set for a year or two. Now that we’re getting a new series dedicated to the Looney Tunes after years of dormancy, I just have to hope that this new series won’t be as creatively bankrupt as this shit. Now this came from one of the people behind the Warner classics, I can’t help but wonder how relative newcomers like those working on the show can compare.

Hopefully when Daffy falls in water, he won’t turn blue.

Originally posted on Saturday, July 31, 2010.

2012
02.06

Anime Fucking Sucks [Foggle]

And no, I don’t mean this:

Goddamn I love Excel Saga.

I mean this:

Goddamn I hate Soulja Boy.

That’s right, Soulja Boy is back up in it (OH!), and this time he’s released not one, but two singles that rival his collaboration with Justin Bieber as worst song of the 21st century. And they’ve got to be pretty fucking bad to do that. Both of these songs just happen to be about anime.

Now, before I begin my tirade, I’ll have you know that I’m not one of those wankers who “listens to everything but rap and country, lol!! xD” Like all other genres, there’s good hip hop and there’s bad hip hop. This is good. This is not. This is good. This is not. This is good. This is not. This is good. This is not. You get the idea.

The biggest problem with Soulja Boy is his severe lack of talent. While other bad rappers may be slightly decent at grasping certain concepts or may even be able to excel at one thing or another, this man’s music represents everything that is wrong with not only the genre, but also the entire industry in general. His lyrics are generally about his non-existent swagger, his oodles and oodles of cash, his YouTube “haters” (I’m serious), or women with large asses that he’d like to have sex with. His flow would be embarrassingly awful if he even had an ounce of it in his body. His beats were probably made in a FruityLoops trial. Much like the aforementioned Justin Bieber, Soulja Boy proves that you don’t need any actual talent to get a record deal, just lots of daddy’s money.

This brings us to Soulja Boy’s magnum opus, Anime. Ladies and gentlemen, feast your ears upon this bastardization of music:

If it doesn’t load, consider yourself lucky. Or click here.

Some may try to write this off as a joke song. These people have obviously never listened to any of his other recordings, because his “serious” stuff sounds just as shitty. His delivery on this track is worse than anything Vanilla Ice ever produced; it sounds like he’s bored and/or coked up throughout the whole thing (though, to be fair, all of his songs sound like that).

Let’s take a look at some of the “highlights” from this lyrical catastrophe:
Anime swag / I’m flyin’ like Goku / Anime swag / When I pull up in that old-school – Anime swag? Is he talking about the Lucky Star dolls he buys?
All day, everyday / Anyway, yo, anime – There’s some brilliant rhyming going on here.
Lookin’ at a nigga’ flexin’ like anime – Words cannot express how much I hate Soulja Boy.
Lookin’ like Death Note / Chop it to yo down throat – So he looks like a book? Probably a pretty shitty book, since the next line shows that he doesn’t know how to use grammar correctly.
Rolls-Royce black and I’m lookin’ like Goku – Goku can fly, he doesn’t need a fucking Rolls-Royce.
I’m high in the kitchen cookin’ up that anime – Man, FUCK meth, I be cookin’ up that anime and shit. You down for a blaze on that Haruhi, homie?
Anime / I fuck a bitch any day – More excellent rhyming from the world’s greatest lyricist.
I’m lookin’ like Vegeta, man / Lookin’ like Gohan / I’m lookin’ like Piccolo / Lookin’ like anime / I’m lookin’ like Death Note / I’m lookin’ like [unintelligible] – This is just sad.
Lookin’ like InuYasha – And another. Oh boy.
It’s the anime master / Hoes on my dick like Cowboy Bebop when I’m blastin’ – Remember when Spike fucked all those hookers? Neither do I.
Pikachu diamonds – …What.
Marvel vs. Capcom / Soulja vs. The World – Marvel vs. Capcom isn’t even an anime. Neither is Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.
I’ve been fuckin’ all your baby mama / Anime in her – Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the single worst two lines in ANY piece of music.
The rest of the lyrics can be made via Mad Libs. Observe:
______ anime
(Place a random noun, verb, or adjective in the above blank; repeat ad nauseam)

Keep in mind that this clown has gone Platinum more than once.

And if you thought THAT was bad, just wait ’til you hear the b-side:

Goku. I can never watch Dragon Ball again.

Goku basically takes everything that was wrong with Anime and cranks dat up to 11. The beat is somehow more generic. His flow regresses from 0 into the negatives. His lyrics are even more cringe-inducing. Hell, his unenthusiastic orgasm at 0:03 is enough to give one nightmares for the rest of the week.

Let’s examine some of the wall-bangers this abortion has produced:
Bitch I look like Goku / Bitch I look like Vegeta all hoppin’ out that old-school – This shit AGAIN? Seriously?
’64 Impala / Swagger / Bitch I’m pop ‘n balla’ / Dagger – His delivery of these lines is even worse than the lyrics themselves (which is no small feat).
Fuckin’ all their pretzels / Super Saiyan swagger – Didn’t know Soulja had a food fetish. Also, what the fuck is Super Saiyan swagger?
Bitches on my dick because all my albums Platinum – They’re probably trying to cut it off because of that, dude.
Bitch I look like Gohan / Smokin’ up that marijuana – More “I look like” bullshit. Did Gohan ever smoke weed? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure he didn’t.
Swag / Swag / I look like Mega Man / Say again / Money, yeah / I look like Peter Pan – The lyrical equivalent of AIDS.
Swag swag / I got that Death Note swag – Would you kindly write your name in it, then?
Anime swag / Put a nigga’ in a bag – So THAT’S where all the Dutch dolls went at Ohayocon!
I’m the Twitter King – Then start tweeting and stop making music.
Soulja Boy hip-hop swagger – If this is the current state of hip-hop, then the entire genre needs a hard and fast reboot.

All of this begs the question: why is Soulja Boy still allowed to make music and why do people buy it? Any insight on this matter is appreciated, because I am positively stumped.

–Foggle

Originally posted on Friday, July 30, 2010.

2012
02.06

Batman: (I Bet He’s Compensating For Something) Under The Red Hood [Dr. Insomniac]

First of all, I haven’t read the comic and have absolutely no plans to do so whatsoever. I couldn’t give two shits about Jason Todd. And frankly, I haven’t particularly liked a DC Animated Movie since The New Frontier. So even before I start the film, my expectations for this are pretty much six feet under.

A mysterious vigilante by the name of Red Hood goes into the streets of Gotham to stick a middle finger up the ass of mob leader Black Mask. But unlike the altruistic methods of our Caped Crusader, this guy has blood on his hands. With the clashes between Red Hood and Black Mask spilling out into the open, Batman has to put a stop to it all. However, this newcomer may have more of a history with the Dark Knight than previously thought…

So yeah, it’s yet another one of those “Batman has to stop some guy from offing mobsters” plots. And at this point, it seems nonchalant. It’s like every new villain that comes along has to kill some gangsters in order to gain entry into the Rogues’ Gallery. But unlike the Phantasm or the Holiday Killer, there’s no mystery to who’s doing this. Even if this is the first piece of Batman media you’ve ever seen, you’ll know that it’s Jason Todd. Because of this, it just feels like an utter slog having to wait for Batman to put two and two together.

Our titular character had potential, but there wasn’t enough to his personality that made me care about him. The movie intersperses some scenes of Jason Todd’s past to show what he used to be, and even those didn’t work. It might be because those scenes are just glimmers in comparison to how many times the average viewer has probably seen Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon, or even Tim Drake. A few minutes of flashbacks just aren’t enough to garner sympathy. The corruption of Jason Todd doesn’t make a good film when, comics aside, this is the first time we actually see him, and especially when you only have 75 minutes to work with. You can’t just milk the drama of a character falling to the dark side when you just introduced him a few minutes ago. Also, his dialogue didn’t help. “Evil death-worshipping garbage!” sounds like something out of the bloody Adam West series.

Nightwing just didn’t work here either. During the whole fight with AMAZO, he seemed like he was just there for exposition more than anything. Not even Neil Patrick Harris, who gave an oddly baritone performance, could dissuade me from noticing how unnecessary he was to the plot. And given how he disappears halfway through the film, it makes one wonder why he’s even in this in the first place. Preferably, I would have had Tim Drake replace him. It would’ve been more interesting to see how the former Robin would feel seeing the current one in action.

But on the other hand, Bruce Greenwood is quite good as Batman. His voice feels like a combination of Kevin Conroy’s and Jeremy Sisto’s. The tone is quite somber, yet still has a tinge of rage to it. It’s perfect for a Batman that’s forced to come to terms with a fallen friend.

And while he’s no Mark Hamill, John DiMaggio captures Joker’s essence quite well. Instead of going for a psychotic trickster feel, he has more of a mundane insanity to him. No outlandish schemes or flamboyant minions, just a bunch of bombs and whatever else he has on hand. He’s rather reminiscent of Ladd Russo from Baccano. There’s a brief, but notable scene that shows how far the Clown Prince of Crime is willing to go: Where he asks for a cup of water, only to break the glass, use it to slice a guard’s throat, grab his gun, and shoot down everyone else. It harkens back to his want of a phone call from The Dark Knight. And along with his vicious murder of Jason Todd, we’re looking at a much more grisly Joker than usual.

For the rest of the characters, they’re inconsequential. Characters like AMAZO and Black Mask are just here to appease DC fanboys, when generic brutes and mobsters could have easily replaced them. Ra’s Al Ghul is only here due to the Lazarus Pits being a plot device. The Fearsome Hand of Four looked like they were more at home trying to break into the Xavier Institute. And Alfred just kind of stands there all the time in the Batcave. Really, Batman, Red Hood, and the Joker were the only characters who didn’t feel shoehorned into this movie.

And about the animation, it’s passable. Nothing particularly outstanding or off-model visual-wise, though the CG is pretty evident. It’s probably since all of the DC movies have had such consistent art, that it’s gets to a point where it’s just unremarkable.

So other than a well-done version of the Joker, it’s nothing to write home about. Unless you’re desperately looking for a Jason Todd fix, there just isn’t much to this film that a handful of B:TAS episodes couldn’t offer instead.

Rating: 6/10

– Dr. Insomniac

Originally posted on Thursday, July 29, 2010.

2012
02.06

K-On! or “Lucky Star with a new hat!” [Desensitized]

Oh boy, this is going to take a while.

I’m going to keep this family friendly, because I’m told by several sources that this is a family friendly show, and being that this is a family friendly site (right, Foggle?), I feel it’s only right to review it from that angle.

K-On! is a show about the “Light” Music Club at some high school in Japan. The four members sit around and eat snacks while talking about nothing (while also playing as little music as possible) while nothing at all happens of any importance in their lives whatsoever. I should clarify… The first 6 or so episodes focuses on the band getting together and getting ready for a concert. Supposedly. I mean, very little actually happens in any of these episodes to give you the impression that any sort of plot is being worked towards. One of the main characters tries to learn guitar… That’s basically it. She somehow masters the instrument in a few months somewhat degrading the challenge of learning such an instrument – but let’s not get into that, we have a non-existent plot to get to! Most of the show is spent with the characters avoiding doing anything music related at all, and is spent instead doing things you see on every other moe show out there which is… Y’know, nothing at all. This is a music show, by the way. Just thought I should remind you of that.

The characters are all tropes you’ve seen before, the main character, Yui, is the clueless ditsy type with no talent. Mio is the popular girl who gets embarrassed easily. Ritsu is Tomo (Azumanga Daioh character) clone #163. Mugi has no personality to speak of like every other character I haven’t listed, except that she’s from a wealthy family. There is a fairly important (by this show’s standards, I guess) character that appears later, but she’s really pointless and inconsequential, so who gives a care?

There are several technical problems with this show that really hamper it beyond the fact that it’s cliched pap that’s been done 100 times prior. First is the editing is really herky jerky and random. Scenes frequently end with no rhyme or reason and some of which have absolutely no purpose and should not have been put into the show. The sound is awful, and for a show about music this is unforgivable. The background music is typical ‘Casio-keyboard sound effect’ level that you’ve heard in almost every other moe show about nothing, and the sound effects… I swear there’s just a dartboard of moe sounds and the anime industry just throws apples at that wall or something and sees which one sticks and uses the one with fewest apple chunks on it. But, the biggest problem with the show is everything is paced like a glacier. More often than not one episode could fill like three episodes of this show, because the pacing is so freaking bad. This entire plot could probably be done in like 6 or less episodes if they didn’t have a director who loved looking at long cuts of scenery with NOTHING HAPPENING. Not even mentioning the barely there animation that even puts the ladder scene in Higurashi (look it up) to shame. This is one terribly paced and put together show.

If you would like a better description of episodes, I can handle that! There’s the one where they have to buy a guitar and get jobs to pay for it that somehow takes up a whole episode. You know what the job consists of? DOING NOTHING! I’m not making that up. There’s the episode where the main character fails a test and spends the whole episode distracted from taking a make up exam. Exciting, huh? But there is an episode where they play at a festival! But first we have to sit through over half an episode where nothing happens! The song they play there is actually pretty decent… Too bad it is capped off with a joke that is really, really lame and really poorly edited. Later episodes are your standard fare for this type of show, such as a Christmas episode, a new member joins (this seems to take two episodes somehow- or three if you’re picky), and there’s a summer beach episode. Do I need to go any further here? Again, the problem with all of these episodes is that barely anything happens in them. The pacing is beyond poor, and any enjoyment one might get from this show (how fleeting that feeling might be) is sure to be squelched during the long periods of blank space happening on screen.

The only real positive I can think of to add to this is that the opening and closing themes aren’t too bad, music wise, and the songs in the show (what little there are) are passable pop music songs. However, content wise there is nothing redeemable about this show or worth remembering.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not putting down slice of life shows when I criticize this show. One of my favorite anime is Chromartie High, and that’s as crazy as all get out but still grounded in simplistic every day plots in the end. School Rumble and Azumanga Daioh are also not bad for the type of show they are. They feature a pretty sizable cast of characters, all of which who share pretty complicated (not always complex) relationships and are usually capped with a clever character related joke. This is just dull. In every way.

Okay, you might be reading this review and pegging me for a KyoAni hater. Let me be upfront about this – I am not a KyoAni hater. I do like The Melancholy Of Haruhi Suzumiya (even though the Endless Eight is the stupidest idea since Han shooting first), and they also did a little show called Full Metal Panic! that I know a few fellow staffers are big fans of, and it has earned it’s place as a reputable animation studio. I know there are those who would argue with that, but my feeling is that while they may not always be top notch, they’re at least competent at what they do.

That being said, I really hate Lucky Star and everything it has done to anime.

Ever since the show came out, everything has been attempting to copy it’s success by featuring schoolgirls with “quirks” who lead normal everyday lives. All these shows about schoolgirls who look around 10 years younger than they’re supposed to be and doing meaningless things, with “interesting” (try “overdone”) quirks with the same darn 4 repeating plot-lines over and over again somehow stretched over 13 (or even 26+) episodes. Yet, somehow, otaku keep swallowing this tripe over and over again. And yes, I mean otaku, because there is no one else who could possibly find this stuff amusing. Why do they find this amusing?… Use your imagination. There are things I can’t say on a family site, after all. (This is a family site, right Foggle?) This show is no different than all of those generic clones.

Now, I’m a music fan. Music is pretty deeply embedded into my DNA and even though my tastes are constantly changing, I don’t think I will ever not love it as much as I do. So as an animation fan and music fan, I get giddy with excitement when there are shows based on music. In fact, they are frequently some of my all time favorites. Let me list just one of them and tell you why I like it. Don’t worry, I’m going somewhere with this.

The show was called BECK: Mongolian Chop Squad. The anime is not as good as the manga (due to sheer length), but this is the perfect show about music. You have a group of characters that want to play music simply because of the passion they have for it, no matter how hard life kicks them in the face. You can understand why Taira’s bass is so funky, why Ryosuke is such a deep sounding guitarist, why Chiba is a tongue-twister with words… It all shines through their characters and perfectly matches with their music so when it comes together, it works on a whole other level. In K-On!, music can be replaced with basket weaving and it would have the same emotional attachment it already has. Which is none. Geez, is anyone even reading this anymore? You could be sleeping or staring at paint dry instead of reading about K-On!

To be fair, I’m not saying all music shows have to be like that, because they frequently aren’t. But while music shows like Detroit Metal City, BREMEN, Nana, and BECK may all be totally different from each other, they all have respect for music in the same way they have respect for characters and the universe they reside in. This is why they are all highly regarded and recommended, and will most likely be looked back at for years to come. I severely doubt this will be remembered outside of a few select circles, and no, I don’t mean on the family friendly market.

Why did I go on about music shows and Lucky Star clones, you might be wondering? Because K-On! is both a music show (it’s what it’s marketed as), and is also another Lucky Star clone that we’ve seen a hundred times in the last few years. It’s too bad it fails at each of the camps it’s targeting and falls right off a cliff as far as… Well, as far as EVERYTHING about it goes. This is only a review of the first season, because I severely doubt the show will change after this point, and because if I went any longer I would probably lull myself into a deep, vegetative coma… And as tempting as that is after watching this cerebral bore, I have things to do… Like finish this review. *sigh* The irony hurts.

I can not recommend this show to anyone reading this review. If you like slice of life, stay away. If you like music, stay away. If you like moe… You should probably watch this to see what you’ve done to the anime industry. If you like anime, please don’t watch this. And that’s pretty much all I have say about K-On! and it’s genre. Now go watch rain roll off your rooftop or something. I guarantee that doing that instead will offer far more entertainment value per raindrop than this entire worthless show does per episode.

Oh wait, this family friendly show’s ending theme has the four underage teenage girls topless? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Fuck this show.

(PS: Most of my notes for this review consisted of “Nothing is happening” written over and over in various different ways. Seriously, don’t bother with this show.)

Originally posted on Wednesday, July 28, 2010.