What Movie Did You Just Watch

[Dr. Ensatsu-ken]

I meant to comment on it earlier, but yeah, Furiosa was a great time. I think I'd give the overall edge to Fury Road for it's tighter pacing, but this is one of those rare cases of a prequel film being genuinely good.

[Dr. Ensatsu-ken]

Kind of mixed in my opinions on Alien: Romulus. I have a number of issues with it but also found a fair amount of things that I liked about it as well. After a single viewing, I'd say for now that I lean more positive than negative. At the same time, I can't really say that the best things about it weren't already done better by the first two films.

That's kind of par for the course with a Fede Alvarez film for me. He comes off as a perfectly "alright" horror director to me. He has competent enough story-telling skills and has a good sense of pacing, but I can't say that any of his films have left a particularly strong impression on me.

The callback lines from previous films were pretty cringe, but at least the movie wasn't overly reliant on those (and I have a feeling that may have been more of a studio push).

Some sequences in thus movie were both very creative and suitably intense, though, so in that way it at least feels like a suitable Alien film.

[Dr. Insomniac]

Yeah, I've heard mixed things. Oddly enough, I've seen more than a few people mad that this isn't the third part of Ridley Scott's David trilogy.

[Avaitor]

I just can't get myself interested in Romulus, even as someone who still finds the David movies mid. I also am not in Alvarez's court, I didn't like Evil Dead 13 very much at all. Rise was better, but I still don't care for the franchise's recent direction. At the same time, I grew tired of Ash Vs. partway through its run, so maybe it's a franchise best left dormant?

Alien shouldn't have to be, and I'm interested in Noah Hawley's series. But at this point, I'm more interested in another Predator movie closer to Prey.

[Dr. Insomniac]

So, Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. Yeah, it's not as good as the first one, and the middle part of the film with Jenna Ortega feels a lot like reheated first draft scenes from Wednesday, but it was nice seeing this version of Tim Burton back after so many phoned-in adaptations. The return of the Burton who regularly did homages of the B-movie giallos and horrors he watched as a kid. I read someone pointing out that Lydia here is basically a self-insert for modern Burton, a celebrity sell-out who's only goth on the surface these days and has a revolving-door love life. And that combined with reading a lot of Burton's recent interviews where he admits he's as frustrated with his recent projects as we are made it one of the more fascinating sequels to old 90s family movies.

Spoiler

Kinda odd they gave a whole subplot to Lydia's dad even though he died before the movie starts and his actor doesn't show up due to being blacklisted.

[close]

[Avaitor]

I loved Beetlejuice Beetlejuice myself, although I can see how it might read weird depending on your relationship with the original. If you're turned off by the character's sex pest tendencies, seeing him contribute to something almost kind of good and positive while not going fully into animated series territory may not work... but I dunno, it lands for me. Feels like your funky uncle bringing the weird back when you need it the most. Hopefully this wasn't just a fluke, and we can get fun, audacious Burton back on the regular.

As happy as I am to see Keaton still have it as the ghost with the most and to get genuinely good performances from Ryder and Ortega (although I agree that the latter's material felt a little too Wednesday-ish for my tastes), I was especially surprised by Catherine O'Hara. I was worried that she was still in Moira Rose mood from everything I'd seen before, but she matched her energy in the original to a T.

[Dr. Insomniac]

Well, The Crow 2024 was just as bad as everyone said. The most damning is how the movie spends half its runtime setting up Eric and Shelly's romance, and while it's meant to give substance to their tragic deaths, it also felt like if a Spider-Man movie made you go "Jesus, can Uncle Ben fucking die already so we can get to the main story?"

I don't want to be one of those guys who thinks the movie sucks because it changes things, especially since any remake or reboot will have to deal with how the first movie's been mythologized thanks to the tragedy surrounding Brandon Lee and how the story of a guy in the prime of his life getting shot and killed makes it almost impossible to separate the fiction from the real-life context of the production, but it's such a downgrade from the '94 film. The absence of Sarah and Ernie Hudson's character are heavily felt, and given what we know about why the comic was made, it feels kinda crass to turn Eric and Shelly into drug addicts who meet in rehab.

And it's not enough that this version of the Crow looks like the Jared Leto Joker, he spends other parts of the movie dressed either like Billie Eilish or a Soundcloud rapper. It's a movie very devoid of fashion sense.

[Dr. Ensatsu-ken]

So, after all the hype and buzz it has been getting, I went to see The Wild Robit, and yeah, it was really good. It also showcases that on top of already being versatile actors, both Lupita Nyong'o and Pedro Pascal are also genuinely good voice actors. So glad I went into this movie blind and had no idea who was in it, because I didn't recognize either of them until the end credits rolled.

[Foggle]

Hello again, everyone! I'm gonna try to post more, I miss you guys and am glad to see you're all still hanging around! I've had a lot on my plate recently, but life is getting a lot better for me. Anyway, on to filmé!

We saw The Substance a few days ago and man, I just really really loved it. Such a good time. Super gross and funny, the gore and practical effects were fantastic. Demi Moore and Dennis Quaid deliver absolutely unhinged performances, the editing/cinematography and music/sound design are so good, really nothing negative to say about it at all. Truly a film that earns its 2.5-hour runtime, in my opinion! Definitely not going to be for everyone, I can understand why somebody would hate it, but if you like nasty body horror with a heavy dose of camp, I think you'll love it. I was hooting and hollering in the theater for the entire last half-hour, and the entire crowd we saw it with just ate it up. But it wasn't even the best cinema experience I've had this year...

Bad Boys: Ride Or Die! Oh man, what a fun movie! I'd seen the first 1 and maybe, like, the TV edit of 2 back in the day, but I didn't really know what to expect. I was blown away. Everyone was so funny, especially Martin Lawrence. We quote the "I wasn't even gonna tell you this, but in a past life, you were a donkey, and I owned you" bit to each other all the time now. The action was great too, and also very funny. But the best part was how much the theatrical audience we saw it with loved it! The screening was packed, and everyone was laughing and cheering the whole time. This one guy kept clapping like every 20 minutes. It was amazing! After that, we watched the first 3 films, and I gotta say Dr. Ensatsu-ken, I was wrong about Michael Bay. I was a dumb kid, I didn't understand. I couldn't process how fucking AMAZING Bad Boys 2 is. Holy shit! What a masterpiece. It's the greatest and worst movie ever made simultaneously - it's perfect. No notes. Just spectacular.

We also saw plenty of other great movies this year. Furiosa - somehow I never ended up seeing Fury Road, but godDAMN that was an amazing film! We watched Fury Road a day or two after, and I think that made the experience ever better for both movies. George Miller is a genius and I hope he lives until he's 150 and keeps making masterpieces like these. I can't believe Furiosa flopped at the box office, it's a tragedy.

Monkey Man was some real good stuff too, I knew Dev Patel was talented but he truly is a triple threat.

Other ones I loved and would wholeheartedly recommend this year are Love Lies Bleeding, Strange Darling, and Stopmotion. I wasn't quite as taken with Challengers as most people seem to be, but I can't deny that it was great stuff, and the music/cinematography during the tennis scenes were simply incredible. Suffice to say, I was wrong about NIN too, I'm 100% a Trent Reznor stan now.

I was a little disappointed by Maxxxine. I still liked it quite a bit, but X and Pearl were some of my favorite movies from 2022 and the third one just didn't compare in my opinion. Longlegs was also not quite as great as people were hyping it up to be. That said, I think I actually liked it the most out of everyone I know personally - while the story ended up falling flat, I thought the vibes were immaculate. It felt like a less-experienced filmmaker's attempt to channel the feeling of Twin Peaks: The Return and Control/Alan Wake 2, and I think he a did a pretty great job. He should get someone else to write the script next time, though.

On the flipside, I liked Deadpool & Wolverine quite a bit more than I was expecting to. Y'all know I am a huge Deadpool comics fanboy, and that remains true to this day. And I genuinely think the Deadpool 2 Director's Cut is a masterpiece, which appears to be a scorching hot take. But with Shawn Levy at the helm, no Domino or Cable, and the recent MCU baggage I know little about, I was worried it wouldn't live up to the first two. While I still found it somewhat weaker than its predecessors, it made me laugh a lot. Like, a lot. I had a great time watching it! I know Ryan Reynolds is a... controversial figure, but I do think he's a funny dude, and a great pick for the character. And of course Hugh Jackman was wonderful as always.

So, after all the hype and buzz it has been getting, I went to see The Wild Robit, and yeah, it was really good. It also showcases that on top of already being versatile actors, both Lupita Nyong'o and Pedro Pascal are also genuinely good voice actors. So glad I went into this movie blind and had no idea who was in it, because I didn't recognize either of them until the end credits rolled.

That's great! I thought the trailer only looked okay (visually stunning, though), but I would definitely like to go see it!

Well, The Crow 2024 was just as bad as everyone said. The most damning is how the movie spends half its runtime setting up Eric and Shelly's romance, and while it's meant to give substance to their tragic deaths, it also felt like if a Spider-Man movie made you go "Jesus, can Uncle Ben fucking die already so we can get to the main story?"

I know a lot of people felt that way about The Amazing Spider-Man, but honestly in retrospect I actually really like those films, even if they're not especially "good."

And it's not enough that this version of the Crow looks like the Jared Leto Joker, he spends other parts of the movie dressed either like Billie Eilish or a Soundcloud rapper. It's a movie very devoid of fashion sense.

I just can't get myself interested in Romulus, even as someone who still finds the David movies mid. I also am not in Alvarez's court, I didn't like Evil Dead 13 very much at all. Rise was better, but I still don't care for the franchise's recent direction. At the same time, I grew tired of Ash Vs. partway through its run, so maybe it's a franchise best left dormant?

I didn't get a chance to see Romulus, which I mostly heard good things about from friends, but I unironically really liked Fede's Evil Dead rebootquel after finally giving it a chance. This is another hot take, but I actually think it's hilarious and tonally in line with Raimi's films - maybe by accident? But the excessive, excessive levels of gore made me laugh really hard; it felt intentionally slapstick to me. The ending bit with the chainsaw and the entire van's-worth of squibs had me howling. I liked Rise and Ash Vs. a lot too, but I still need to finish the latter.

Not huge on Fede's other work, but I find myself kinda rooting for him for some reason. I will check out Romulus at some point, but I still need to watch Prometheus, Covenant, and the workprint of 3. As an aside, Don't Breathe 2 (which Alvarez wrote but didn't direct) was absolute ass, but the attempted emotional moment where Stephen Lang breaks down crying to his adopted/kidnapped daughter sobbing like "I have KEELED... I have RAYPED... I am a MAWNSTER" left me in tears (not the kind they were going for). Very reminiscent of Nic Cage in Vampire's Kiss (masterpiece btw).

I feel like I've become a vastly more positive person since quitting social media, and I wouldn't have enjoyed a lot of these things even half as much five years ago. That's all from me about new movies until I come back to gush about how good Terrifier 3 and Smile 2 are in a few weeks (yes, I am an Art the Clown lover now... I'm sorry to everyone I've mentally harmed by saying this).

[Dr. Ensatsu-ken]

Great to see you around again, Foggle! I missed you around here as well! The forums aren't nearly as lively without you!

I still haven't seen the new Bad Boys yet even though I really liked the previous one. I'll definitely get around to it soon, though.

As for The Wild Robot, no it certainly won't blow you away but I think it's a genuinely solid animated movie that did actually engage me on an emotional level the way that a well made children's film can from time to time.

[Avaitor]

It's really nice to see you again, Foggle, and I like hearing your film takes.

I agree with you on MaXXXine, it's not as good as X or Pearl, although I think I liked it a little better than most. The last act is especially kind of ass, but I've read a take that I agree with- to fit the giallo pastiche, it works, most of those have bad final acts.

I also wasn't that hot on Longlegs, but I'm a notorious Maika Monroe hater. I think she has the range of stale bread.

[Dr. Insomniac]

Watched Megalopolis. I read a review that described it as watching Coppola sundowning, and yeah, apt description of what I watched. A bizarre concoction of Marcus Aurelius quotes, Citizen Kane, Metropolis, Shakespeare, one chapter of Stardust Crusaders, Attack of the Clones, Shia LeBeouf's unhinged livestreams, Cirque de Soleil, and alcoholism. I was never bored, but always confused. The equivalent of a foreign stage play hastily machine translated into a film with zero consideration for all the accommodations needed. I came in expecting a big-budget trainwreck, and left getting what I wanted but also thinking Coppola's the victim of elder abuse. An assumption not helped by reading what happened at a recent Q&A where he thought Spike Lee and Martin Scorsese were the same person.

[Foggle]

Great to see you around again, Foggle! I missed you around here as well! The forums aren't nearly as lively without you!

Thank you! I love seeing you guys still hanging out on here.

As for The Wild Robot, no it certainly won't blow you away but I think it's a genuinely solid animated movie that did actually engage me on an emotional level the way that a well made children's film can from time to time.

It may not have blown me away in the same sense that The Substance or Furiosa did earlier this year, but we saw The Wild Robot a few days ago and I did absolutely love it. Made all of us cry, a lot. Great film!

It's really nice to see you again, Foggle, and I like hearing your film takes.

I agree with you on MaXXXine, it's not as good as X or Pearl, although I think I liked it a little better than most. The last act is especially kind of ass, but I've read a take that I agree with- to fit the giallo pastiche, it works, most of those have bad final acts.

I also wasn't that hot on Longlegs, but I'm a notorious Maika Monroe hater. I think she has the range of stale bread.

Thank you! I enjoy seeing yours and everyone else's takes too! Definitely gotten plenty of recommendations from you guys over the years. I've been focusing more on films lately than other types of media because I'm struggling with changing my medication, which has helped me a lot already but has made me not want to touch long-form stuff (books, games, TV) much.

I think the ending of MaXXXine could have salvaged the last act if they had a gone a little further or crazier with it. I enjoyed the first two-thirds a lot, and I didn't hate the rest, but it did feel a lot more typical and less fun than X and Pearl. The horror and violence felt too tame compared to what came previously; it needed more stuff like that nasty ball-stomp at the beginning (good lord!).

I don't really have an opinion on Maika Monroe. I feel like Longlegs might be the only thing I've seen her in? I thought she was good in it, but also the role called for someone to be more or less stoic in the face of insanity, so if all her performances are like that, I could see that being a problem.

Watched Megalopolis. I read a review that described it as watching Coppola sundowning, and yeah, apt description of what I watched. A bizarre concoction of Marcus Aurelius quotes, Citizen Kane, Metropolis, Shakespeare, one chapter of Stardust Crusaders, Attack of the Clones, Shia LeBeouf's unhinged livestreams, Cirque de Soleil, and alcoholism. I was never bored, but always confused. The equivalent of a foreign stage play hastily machine translated into a film with zero consideration for all the accommodations needed. I came in expecting a big-budget trainwreck, and left getting what I wanted but also thinking Coppola's the victim of elder abuse. An assumption not helped by reading what happened at a recent Q&A where he thought Spike Lee and Martin Scorsese were the same person.

I also came away with it thinking elder abuse may have been going on behind the scenes. Some people compared it to Neil Breen, what with the elaborate sci-fi concepts, indecipherable politics, and lead character being an architect named after two salad dressings, but frankly I would compare it more to Tommy Wiseau in terms of execution. For as hilarious and baffling as his work is, Breen has a very specific vision and does everything in his power to portray it with his own unique sensibilities, while also apparently being a really nice guy who's good to work with. Megalopolis is clearly coming from the heart as well, but much like The Room, the filmmaker having more money and ideas than skill or intent is apparent. This is not to knock Coppola as a creator in general - obviously he's made many masterpieces in his life - but this does not remotely resemble the work of the man who directed The Godfather, The Conversation, or Apocalypse Now. And yes, of course great artists can misfire every now and then, but this feels like far more than that. Something is very wrong here. "Sundowning" seems apt, as mean as that may sound.

A review I read said Megalopolis felt like it was as inspired by David Wain as it was Orson Welles. This hit the nail on the head for me, because by complete accident, it frequently starts resembling the specific comedic tone of Wet Hot American Summer and They Came Together throughout. The Marcus Aurelius quote-off where they have to say his name every single time, the AUNTIE PLATINUM sex? scene that was harder to watch than any Terrifier set-piece, the *literal* Nazi stump speech where Shia stands on a tree stump shaped like a swastika, the fucking "bow-ner" gag used to resolve the film's main conflict? Don't even get me started on Jon Voight; disregarding his, uh, outside life, every moment featuring him felt like they just pointed the camera at him having a manic episode and worked it into the film somehow in post. Giancarlo Esposito, Aubrey Plaza, and Laurence Fishburne deserve reparations for appearing in this. Adam Driver might need an Oscar for being able to pull off the performance required of him here without losing his mind in the process; meanwhile, Nathalie Emmanuel seems physically incapable of speaking her terrible lines, looking distressed and failing to convey any emotion throughout the first act before settling into a weird Harley Quinn-esque accent later on to make the script more palatable.

The film is absolutely gut-bustingly hilarious, but I do feel a little bad for laughing at it because I genuinely think it paints a picture of Coppola as deeply unwell. That said, I feel less bad about laughing so much due to the college-aged wannabe film critics sitting in front of me in the theater who got really angry that I "hyena screeched" at inappropriate moments "before the film had properly revealed itself." They made sure to passive-aggressively let me know how much smarter than me they are in person, then one of them immediately went home and wrote a Letterboxd review complaining about me. Said review also implies that the screening was packed full of people making fun of it, accusing "them" of participating in a TikTok trend; in reality, it was a dead late-night showtime at the mall that I purposefully picked to avoid potentially bothering people. (Keep in mind that these guys were also laughing at the film constantly, and loudly dissecting its themes and shit during the film.) Of course, his review also ended with the classic "at least it's not Marvel capeshit!" sentiment Twitter filmbros so adore.

[Dr. Insomniac]

The whole movie reeks of "What if?" to me. Like how Coppola's been working on and redrafting the script since he wrapped up Apocalypse Now over 4 decades ago, only to let the actors wing it in scenes? Reminds me of Duke Nukem Forever's development hell status. There's only so many times you can rewrite a project before later drafts end up making it worse instead of better.

There's a timeline where he would've made this back in the 80s instead of One from the Heart. And it probably would've bombed in the box office too, but at least it could've been the "top of his game" Coppola directing instead of the Coppola who lost his game a long time ago and wound up making movies nobody can make heads or tails of. Seriously, how many actually watched Twixt or Tetro and came out of them thinking they were good?

[Foggle]

We saw a few more movies in the past month! First was the 1993 film Doppelganger starring Drew Barrymore and George Newbern. Now that's gotta be one of the greatest "bad" movies I've ever seen! Every actor in it is delivering the hammiest performance in history, with Barrymore herself being the true hilarious standout. It actually has a lot of genuinely great writing and ideas underneath all the cheese, and I'm fairly certain it's impossible to guess where the story will go and how it will end while you're watching it. Amazing stuff!

Transformers One wasn't my favorite, probably because I didn't grow up with much TF outside of... Armada... but I had a lot of fun watching it, and it's a real shame the studio failed so spectacularly in marketing it. We probably go to the theater more often than most people (thank you, season passes), and I never saw a single trailer for it - which is reflected by its disappointment at the box office. I think most people just didn't even know the film came out/existed at all. But it was a great time! The script could have used another pass or two, but the animation and voice acting were excellent. Really needed more Steve Buscemi as Starscream, though. Give us a spin-off about him, Hasbro

Smile was a huge surprise for me back in 2022, as the trailers made it look like the most generic horror movie of 2005, but it ended up being a really fun spooky time with an exceptional soundtrack and memorable ending. I am pleased to say that Smile 2 is just as good! The sequel has a lot more nasty violence and dark humor than the first entry, as well as an even crueler ending. The final confrontations with the entity are genuinely creepy and made me smile as wide as the movies' victims! Between this, The Substance, and Terrifier 3, it looks like practical gore effects and mean-spirited horror are back in full force, and I am absolutely living for it - as are audiences at large, judging by their box office numbers.

Possibly an even bigger surprise for me in 2022 was Terrifier 2. It got a lot of positive pre-release buzz from horror-heads making it sound like exactly my kind of thing. This shocked me, as I'd had literal negative interest in the first movie and always assumed it was just some torture porn crap. Well, I gave the first one a shot, and I wasn't really wrong, but the guy playing the evil clown was pretty likable, so we ended up going to the second one anyway, and wow! I honestly thought it was a camp masterpiece. The movie was ridiculous, disgusting, cheap-looking, poorly-acted (except the clown!), and absolutely fucking hilarious. The whole thing is bonkers from start to finish - it opens with the clown ripping the eyes out of a someone's skull to replace his own (that he lost when he "died" at the end of part 1) before going to the laundromat to wash his murder costume, and ends with the first movie's sole survivor giving birth to his head after he "died" again. I was in tears during that post-credits scene; I couldn't believe the audacity of the shit they pulled in this cheapo schlockfest, and I desperately wanted more.

They gave us more! So much more! Terrifier 3 is a tour-de-force of sickening gore set-pieces, quite possibly the most graphically violent film ever given an uncut wide theatrical release. I am not joking; we audibly gagged and almost vomited watching certain parts. I have never felt fear or anxiety during a slasher flick before, they usually just make me laugh and wince a little, but this one is rough. The filmmaking and acting are so much better than the first two installments that I could scarcely believe they were made by the same people. It's shot on 35mm with a fantastic color grade and it looks gorgeous! The final girls from the first two movies return and deliver incredible performances! The clown is still fucking hilarious! The opening 15 minutes function more or less as a legitimately upsetting standalone Christmas horror short, and it gets so much more nauseating from there. But goddamn is it funny, and due to the increased filmmaking prowess, I actually became invested in the story, lore, and protagonist's journey by the end. I unironically think this should win an Oscar for best VFX/makeup because the practical gore effects are unbelievable. It almost looks too real. The people responsible for this film are freaks and desperately need therapy (complimentary). 10/10, but I would not recommend watching it.