02.06
Hey hey! Tonight I’m going to suck!(reads next card) Your blood! I’ve been a big fan of The Simpsons pretty much my whole life, and I’d be lying if I said that the annual Treehouse of Horror episodes weren’t a big part of that. I see that Desen has already done a list, and a really good one at that, so I decided to highlight a few that he didn’t mention, even though many of his choices are among my favorite. So, from the same people who brought you such frightfests as “World’s Deadliest Executions” and three straight weeks of “The Chevy Chase Show”, this is SNES Chalmers’ look at-
My 10 Treehouse of Horror Picks!
10. Hex and the City(THOH XII)
Going through Ethnictown, The Simpsons make a stop at a gypsy’s shop, only for Homer to ruin her act. The gypsy puts a curse on not Homer, but every one he loves, and he and Bart set out to attract a leprechaun using Lucky Charms(their first attempt only managed to attract rabbits, thanks to Homer using Trix) to break the curse. The method works, but not in a way Homer had hoped, and not before Bart apparently dies. There’s a few good gags in the episode, and some great quotes, like when the shrunken heads are awaken and one exclaims “Wait a minute, this ain’t Cedar’s Sinai!” and immediately after when the gypsy wonders why she didn’t see it coming, then looks down and sees two cards that say “The Flaming Jerk” and “The Ruined Gypsy”
9. Mr. and Mrs. Simpson(THOH XVIII )
It’s so hard for me to pick more recent episodes of THOH, since pretty much everything past season fifteen is a blur to me(this goes for the show itself, not just the THOH episodes), but this one does stick out to me, partially because it’s one of the bloodiest episodes of the show, such as the waiter who gets shot through the head, and his blood drips down the pyramid of wineglasses that has been set up. The episode features both Homer and Marge as assassins, who are unaware of each other’s doings until Homer’s orders to kill Kent Brockman is thwarted by Marge. This leads to a confrontation at the Simpson house, which is reported to Chief Wiggum by a certain “neighborino”, and Homer shoots and arrow into his chest(“I would’ve taken a bribe!”, Wiggum exclaims as he dies). Marge realizes that killing people turns her on, and proves this to Homer by showing him on top of Wiggum’s dead body. The episode ends with the two admitting their escapades to Principal Skinner, who tells him he only called them in to talk about Bart. The two exchange looks, and proceed to shoot Skinner as the screen goes black.
8. The Terror of Tiny Toon(THOH IX )
This one is essentially a 11 minute Itchy and Scratchy cartoon, which is one of the things that make this episode so memorable to me. At one point or another, Itchy and Scratchy had depicted the stereotypical cartoon physics, but in this one they manage to demonstrate nearly all of the universal cartoon laws, using Bart and Lisa as their target. I love the live-action crossover bit as well, with the characters landing on the set of Live with Regis and Kathie Lee, which results in Kathie Lee storming off the stage(“That’s it, I’m going home! Dom DeLouise can interview himself!”)
7. Attack of the 50-Foot Eyesores(THOH VI)
“Lock your doors, bar your windows, because the next advertisement could destroy your house and eat your family!” Cue commercial break. I love this one, Homer steals Lard Lad’s giant donut, after getting disgruntled at the stores’ supposed Colossal Donut. The Lard Lad comes to life seeking out his donut(“He came to life. Good for him!”), and once he gets it back, he and his giant mascot buddies proceed to reek havoc on the citizens of Springfield. In the end Lisa, with the help of Paul Anka, persuade the town to stop paying attention to the mascots, which effectively destroys them(with some of the mascots taking the Springfield Children’s Hospital, the Springfield Orphanage, and the birthplace of Norman Vincent Peale). One gag I liked was when Lard Lad starts his rampage he kicks a barking dog, which lands in the distant horizon. This gag has always gotten a laugh out of me, and even the similar gag in The Simpsons Movie where the polar bear kicks the fox does this to me too. I hope this doesn’t make me look like a monster, but maybe I find giant characters kicking a significantly smaller cartoon dog humorous.
6. Citizen Kang(THOH VIII )
A good political parody consisting of Kang and Kodos taking over the bodies of Bill Clinton and Bob Dole in order to rule the Earth. So much great stuff, form Homer bursting into the kitchen ready to tell Marge his story of being abducted, but first he makes up a story about catching the biggest fish he’d ever seen, to Homer storming the debate, only to get thrown out with the guard throwing the American flag he had brandished at him with a “here’s your stinking flag.” And of course it gives us some good advice on voting for third parties, that is it is essentially throwing away your vote, to the expense of Ross Perot. “I don’t get why we have to build a weapon to destroy a planet I’ve never heard of.” “Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos!” And yes, I am aware that that last line inspired the name of a ska band later on down the road.
5. Dial ‘Z’ for Zombies(THOH III)
Now this one is a fan favorite. From Bart’s initial book project of From A-Apple to Z-Zebra, a book that he only read most of, to classic exchange “Dad, you just killed Zombie Flanders!” “He was a zombie?”, there’s just so much humor mixed with the terror of zombies, something movies like Shawn of the Dead and Zombieland later excelled at. Neither of those two movies however had Bart chanting an incantation consisting of several condom brands to disspell the zombies, and that is what sets this apart from those two.
4. Nightmare Cafeteria(THOH V)
“Surely some one will come and save the two Simpson children!” Don’t count your chickens Bart, especially when the principal comes up with a new alternative to detention, turning delinquents into meals for the staff. I love the tense Martin in the cage, and Skinner subsequently telling him to ease up before he becomes all stringy, and the whole bit with “You could say we all have a little ‘Uter’ in all of us. In fact, you could say we just ate Uter and he’s in our stomachs right now. Wait, scratch that last one.” Way to keep it subtle there Principal Skinner.
3. The Raven(THOH I)
A great retelling of the Edger Allen Poe classic, this story features Lisa reading the story, James Earl Jones narrating it, and Bart playing the raven and Homer playing the man driven to madness by the bird. The episode ends with Bart laughing at Homer through the window, to which Homer replies” I hate Halloween!”
2. Nighmare on Evergreen Terrace(THOH VI)
“You’ve mastered a dead tongue, but can you handle a live one?” Ah, one of my favorite THOH episodes, if only for some of the quotes. I love the parents getting together for a discussion on fixing the school calender(“Lousy Smarch weather”), to Homer changing the thermostat( “Do not touch Willie, good advice!”), and the end with Willie coming back to terrorize the Simpson children once more, only to leave his gun on the seat of the bus he was riding. One of the best gags however is the scene where they are pushing Martin’s corpse out of the classroom, only to have the plastic cover slip off and the site of the corpse scares the children in the classroom, and Skinner has them just get it out of the room, only to have it pushed into the Kindergarten room, where more screams arise.
1. Bart Simpson’s Dracula(THOH IV)
So, here we are, the best of the best. Well, maybe not the best, but certainly my favorite. A tale of a family out to seek the head vampire and destroy him, so that the curse that has fallen on Bart and turned him into one of the Lost Boys is removed. I love the gag with the “Super Happy Fun Slide”, with Lisa persuading Homer not to ride it, to which he replies “You’re right, killing him will probably be fun enough.” Homer’s method is a little bit unorthodox however; as he hammers the stake into Burns’ body, Lisa informs him that he is indeed driving the stake into Mr. Burns’ crotch. Homer corrects himself, and proceeds to drive the stake through Burns’ heart, with Burns shrieking in agony in a well animated death(not before taking the time to fire Homer, yet again). The family returns home thinking everything is all right, only to discover that they had not killed the head vampire, and that it was in fact Marge, who claims “Hey, I need to get out of the house somehow!” The special ends with the family circling around singing “Hark, the Herald Angels Sing” in vein of It’s a Charlie Brown Christmas, complete with Milhouse playing a toy piano and Santa’s Little Helper doing the Snoopy dance. Wrong holiday guys.
Well, that’s that. Have a happy Halloween, and remember, stay out of the Three Bears’ house!
One thing of note, my number one choice was one, if not the, last appearance of the Wes Archer twister mouth, where Bart turns his head as he’s talking but his mouth stays in the same place. It’s a shame they did away with that, it was one of my favorite running gags from the early seasons.
Caio.
Originally posted on Sunday, October 31, 2010.