10.12
DISCLAIMER: Let me make perfectly clear that, contrary to popular belief, I do not hate every anime ever made. In fact off the top of my head, there are about twelve shows this year I enjoyed to a large degree. It just seems that I do, because as of late pretty much 90% of what Japan churns out every cour is bound to be shit on some level. Whether it be bad writing, bad animation, and/or overall indifference from a production oversight role. However it is the former that weighs the most on me, so much that I am willing to overlook the other two on occasion. Case in point: From The New World, a wonderful story that overcame the fact that A-1 spent all of five bucks on it (one guess where all the money went…). So if the show looks great but the writing is garbage then odds are I’m not going to like it, and you can complain all you want but that’s the curse of being a critic (except that if you flaunt your love for a certain visual novel where they had sex and sex made babies, then go fuck yourselves, you have no taste.)
Whew… now where was I? Oh yeah… Valvrave…. ugh.
You're asking this now?!?
When last we left our beloved poor sap Haruto, he had managed to turn into a sex-crazed space vampire, got caught in a bizarre love triangle with the VVV-tan and L-Elf (who may or may not be his son from the future who has traveled back in time… …no… really!), quasi-dumped his not-girlfriend Shoko, raped his OTHER girlfriend/fellow space vampire Saki in a bloodthirsty act of unromanticism, unwittingly killed Shoko’s dad, managed to get a marriage proposal cockblocked, and finally stood slackjawed as the enemy commander turned out to be Green Lantern!
…However none of that matters because TIME JUMP! (facepalm)
Ready for your close up Tokushima-San?
Two months after Dorssia’s desperate last ditch attempt to blow up New JIOR with gigantic waffle irons ended with them getting their asses kicked by a slightly more lucid Akira in VVV6 and Traditional Sunrise Eyepatch Guy (aka Cain) running off with the final lime green VVV2 and its own weird on board computer, our motley crew of former high school students has finally reached the neutral zone on the moon and received flashy new military uniforms. Prime Minister Shoko has become incredibly popular due to her own personal (and somewhat self-induced) tragedy. Saki has successfully relaunched her idol career amongst the refugees. And L-Elf is now firmly ensconced as the kingmaker pulling all of the strings behind the scenes. Haruto on the other hand…
Stockholm syndrome anyone?
Well actually Haruto has finally done something smart, pulling a Jotaro Kujo and locking himself behind bars to keep the Diabolik Lovers-reject side of him in check. Even Saki can’t get through to him despite flashing her breasts in his face. Unfortunately it appears his urges also had to a heretofore unseen necessity. The Valvraves apparently run on a fuel called Runes, and how is that generated? Why Haruto’s need to suck blood and have spur of the moment date rape of course! And apparently two straight months of him refusing to do so has caused the VVVs to finally run out of gas.
UBERSERIOUS MECHA SHOW.
This comes at a rather inopportune time as Shoko’s plan to smuggle JIOR refugees past the still present Dorssia blockade gets rejected by ARUS for being too much of an expenditure. Naturally the only way to get through is to deploy the currently phase-shift downed VVVs and the only way to get them to work is for Haruto to go crazy. Being the bro that he is, L-Elf sticks his neck out literally and we’re off to Earth for the first time. Oh and there’s something about those space wizards we saw at the end of last season turning Dorssia Emperor Gio Blando into a space vampire of their own and Cain supervising develop of new Valvraves based off the stolen VVV2, but who cares about those guys.
Sucks to be you.
So basically its more of the batshit stupidity we saw last spring, and if you were hoping the time away would lead to an immediate increase in quality for Valvrave in terms of brain cells, you’re outta luck. Actually that’s not entirely true, the first 8 or so minutes wrapping up the cliffhanger are actually pretty high quality and give us an exciting action scene without Haruto acting like a confused idiot or crazy Akira’s desire to visit a supermarket finally forcing her out of her antirape dungeon. Even the bit after the timeskip (which is the most conservative one to date at only two months as opposed to half a millenia) is fairly decent, with Shoko (who is surprisingly the most improved character this season due to her growing detachment from Haruto) and her attempt at a Berlin Airlift getting smacked down by the ineffectual (and secretly corrupt) ARUS. Its only when we get back to Haruto that the episode goes back down the silly toilet never to return. In this case Kyuuma whoring VVV4 out to an energy drink company for corporate sponsorship, and the aforementioned “violence and sexual assault will save the universe”-gimmick. It never quite reaches the level of head against the wall-idiocy as Shoko’s now legendary YOLO campaign speech from Episode 10 but lord is it cringe inducing.
Yeah good luck with that.
A lot of people love this show for that so retarded its funny-feel its plot has taken ever since Saki recorded that “We Are The World” pop single in episode 5. A lot of people hate this show for the same exact reason (if they didn’t ragequit after the infamous Valvrape). Me? I’m somewhere in the middle. Like SAO, it’s a trainwreck you can’t turn away from. Utterly horrid yet bizarrely entrancing due to that horridness as well. Not “so bad its good”-quality (that’d probably be Hyperdimension Neptunia for this year) but definitely one of the the guiltiest of guilty pleasures. There are 11 episodes to go and the only light at the end is the car slamming into you.
3/10 (7/10 on a Valvrave slope).