10.17
If its Thursday its must be… KILL LA KILL DAY!!! YAAAAAAAAAAYunfortunatelyitsalsoValvravedayBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Oh Valvrave...
After breaking through the Dorssia blockade (pfft that was easy), our fearless band of JIOR nerdowells are about to fly through a series of special rings ala The Man of Steel 64 to make their landfall onto Earth. That means… its going to be another “off-week” episode. Those who stuck around with this show probably remember when Valvrave had a lull in the plot last season they’d fill it up with some of the dumbest moments in the show. The most notable example of which being the infamous Episode 5, which happens to not only be the worst episode of Valvrave by far but also one of, it not the, worst episodes of any anime this year if not ever. This week… doesn’t quite get that inane (it gets close though), mostly because of its middle act and also because we have to develop a pair of characters we didn’t spend much time with last season. Yes my friends… its the Renbokouji siblings episode! …oh god.
Madoka Bitch SlapX2
Yes Akira and Satomi! Remember them? Of course not! But I’ll remind you anyway. Satomi is the older brother and preppy twerp with Boobs McTitts as his girlfriend. He’s mostly notable for giving a solid plan about building a decent economy for JIOR during the PM Campaign only to be utterly embarrassed by Shoko’s promises of unicorns and rainbows. To be fair I’ve always pitied the guy even if he is kind of a dick in the show. Akira, on the other hand, spent the nearly the entire series literally hiding in the closet and only communicating through text messages. Turns out she still is! …even though said closet has since been blown up. So yeah all that development in Episode 12 was just thrown out the window. Way to go Valvrave!
Now you gotta strip...
So yeah its going to take another life or death bs incident to draw these two finally together and explain why they had drifted apart in the first place, and whose fault is it? Why Satomi’s of course! Although L-Elf’s plan to sneak onto Earth as a mail truck is patently fullproof thanks to Kyuuma and Thunder using their Space Vampire powers to hijack the customs officers, Satomi bungles it by… taking a phone call. Yes, just answering the phone will clue Dorssia into the fact that its the JIOR kids trying to sneak in giving us the latest incarnation of that time honored Sunrise mecha show cliché… the atmosphere battle episode.
He's gonna give you the finger(s)...
Ever since Amuro Ray used his RX-78 Gundam’s shield to try to survive reentry in 1979, pretty much every Sunrise mecha show originating in space has done an episode where the good guys are forced to battle their enemies while under the threat of breaking up in the Van Allen Belt. This time it seems like a rather unfair fight though as its all five Valvraves against one Dorssia mech. However said Dorssia mech has been modded to survive in the atmosphere and the Valvraves haven’t so the tables are quickly turned. After hearing her brother go on a guilt ridden crying fit on the com, Akira steps in and does some decent damage to the Dorssia mech, but now she’s caught in the atmosphere. Happily its Haruto to the rescue with his brand new deus ex machin-er… toyuuuuhhh… weapon, the rather unfortunately named “familiar” (hey they’re vampires, why not?!?)
Zapped! 3
After some more false tension, and a steaming pile of deus ex machina abuse, our heroes are saved and crash land on the earth. Unfortunately, this being a Sunrise atmosphere battle, they’re way off course and behind enemy lines. Way to go geniuses!
Episode 13 is not a bad episode by any real stretch, except for a small one early on involving Akira pulling a Solid Snake-style cardboard box trick. The atmosphere battle is fairly tense for the most part and rivals the classic one featuring the near entire destruction of the eighth EA fleet in the original Gundam SEED. Its only towards the end where it just falls apart no thanks to Akira and Satomi’s idiocy but also blatant deus ex machina solution abuse. Oh and guess who makes a cameo at the end?
It’s L-Elf’s lost pseudo-love who we haven’t seen outside of the opening titles in a million years! …yeah I still don’t give a shit about you because the show sure didn’t last spring.
5/10 (8/10 on a Valvrave Scale)