04.06
Next Thursday, on the CW...
First off, what’s the deal with the incest? Is it supposed to be romantic that these kids want to fuck so badly? I’d be less annoyed if this wasn’t the only thing going on between Tatsuya and Miyuki. Every scene where the two are even a few yards away is dominated by Miyuki swooning for her Onii-sama, as if she needs to say that word as often as she blinks. She’s supposed to be a competent magician, right? But all we get from her is that she loves her brother. Probably in love too, but I’ll wait when they hit second base. It’s Onii-sama this and Onii-sama that, like she literally cannot function on her own. Also, I like how in the one scene where she talks to a guy who isn’t her brother, the guy attempts to fondle her because of her “sheer purity”.
It all just feels like the first hour of a dating sim, where all the girls introduce themselves to the main character so nonchalantly that it just spells out how they’re routes for a possible romance. Like hey, here’s the feisty red-haired girl. If that’s not to your taste, here’s the ultra-submissive glasses girl. And if none of those options interest you, then you can always fuck the sister. But then, can I expect wit from the one character that got excited that her name rhymed with the main character’s name? Even the president of the student council wanted to get into Tatsuya’s after only a few minutes of talking, as if he’s the most interesting man in the world despite being the lowly Weed in this magic school.
Oh yeah, there’s the Weed-Bloom conflict going on in the first episode, which is basically school clique crap that only highlights how awesome Tatsuya acts for one-upping his supposedly superior Blooms. It’s like jocks and nerds, except Tatsuya is way too cool to be a nerd, right? Just because he types at a maximum speed and acts diligent in class doesn’t mean he should be lumped in with dorks, because he is so fine that he makes women orgasm from a single compliment. Also, what’s with him being several feet taller than all of the other girls? He’s like a CLAMP character with that disproportionate of a body structure.
So as a first course to what has been constantly paraded as the new Sword Art Online, I got exactly what I expected: Another Sword Art Online. Except by that show’s first episode, there were stakes involving how the main characters would die if they lost the game. But here, the first episode’s just like “Pfft. Magic school. Whatevs.” But what do I know? I clearly don’t understand how martial arts and gunplay constitute as magic, or how Miyuki’s first spell in this series involved wiping the dirt away from her pseudo-maternity gown. Screw being interesting with your magic. Magic is the best when it’s mundane. If Miyuki formulates a new spell that involves generating sandwiches for her beloved Onii-sama to nibble on, color me oh-so surprised.