2012
02.20

That goes where?!

Kodaka and Yozora find Sena still obsessed with visual novels, with her addiction devolving to eroges. FUNImation has also taken its time to subtitle it, so the hearing-impaired are allowed to read about a girl coming inside her womb. Yeah, that’ll satisfy everyone not named Jack Shaftoe.

They get into another bitch fight over about the sense in playing an H-game at a Catholic School instead of trying to accomplish their mission from two episodes. Yozora proceeds to use several synonyms for “cum bucket” to describe her blonde counterpart. Really, other than the hair color, there hasn’t been much to differentiate the two. I guess one is bitchier than the other, but that’s not saying much.

Sena tries to make an argument over how eroge has far more intellectual and artistic value than books such as The Brothers Karamazov, which as a Dostoevsky fan, makes me want to claw through the screen in a half-hearted attempt to strangle her. Yozora dares her to read out the game’s lines to show if 2-d porn really is considered intelligent literature. They decide to have a dramatic reading contest, with Sena having to read through horrible dialogue which compares a sword to a black guy’s dick. No, really.

Naturally, she runs and cries like a newborn seconds away from tasting a soldier’s rifle. Yozora decides to show what she considers art in the form of bad poetry interspersed with more footage of Sena being a twat. Admittedly, there’s some entertainment in watching at least one of these characters suffer.

Later, Kodaka returns home to find his weeaboo sister, Kobato. Seconds in, and she already makes Yozora and Sena combined more likable than Omar Little. Seriously, she spends the episode in a maid suit, watches nothing but cheap knock-off anime like Full Metal Necromancer, does the “Kira” pose, and refers to juice as “lifeblood”. It’s like every bad fangirl stereotype combined into a hodgepodge of loathing.

Behind them, there’s news footage of a monkey riding a warthog. Why can’t I watch that instead of this shit?

Kodaka has to explain his life through exposition because the viewer’s too dumb to understand it themselves. It’s just crap about how his dad has to work in America, leaving his son to take care of that thing. You’d think the whole dead mom aspect would probably put a dent to his employment plans, or at least get a caretaker or something, but no! His son has to fend for his own fucking self!

At the club, Kodaka reasonably wonders what point there is in the club. Of course, Sena interrupts him because she needs to learn how to swim. She needs to understand in order to impress her VN girlfriends. On a normal viewing, this would be the point where I’d just quit and never return like a space cowboy. But it’s for the trial, so the show must go on. Argh.

There’s also an eyecatch of Kobato’s back, as bare as Hel’s exoskeleton. Yeah, here’s one more thing to make me feel uncomfortable about this dreck.

Kodaka and Sena take a bus trip to the pool. In other words, it’s an excuse to show some fanservice and wish-fulfillment at the behest of the people who actually like this show. We get a montage of it all, most of which I doubt is actual swimming training.

They have lunch and talk about how the pool might be going out-of-business, oddly leading to a Takahashi moment between the two. They also argue about Yozora’s name calling while we get shots of Sena’s cleavage. Classy.

Kodaka goes to the bathroom and gets a flashback that has no connection the plot whatsoever, before finding Sena arguing with a bunch of guys. And as always, the only way she can get through this predicament is thinking with her pussy and pretend that Kodaka’s her slave. Sena congratulates him with the promise of being allowed to lick her feet, causing Kodaka to teach her a lesson in misogynist submission. Because how dare a woman speak without being spoken to?

The two part ways as Kodaka gets more flashbacks of being beaten up by racists, until naked Kobato appears and cries over how the bath is cold. Unlike other older brothers in anime, he… just doesn’t seem to react at all. Well, I’ll give this show a point for avoiding the incest angle, for now at least, even if apathy really isn’t a step up. And Christ, what does it say when “not having incest” is considered a plus for an anime?

Kodaka gets another flashback where a girl who looks like Ash Ketchum tries to defend him against bullies, only to get into battle royale without the guns, and then friendship occurs. Because, you know, a bloody nose assures that you’re no longer alone in the world. Not-Ash then has a Patrick Stewart speech about how it doesn’t matter if you don’t have a hundred friends, as long as you value them as if you had that amount. They laugh, and Kodaka finds himself teleported to the club.

Then it turns out, Yozora was that girl! But she’s turned into a bitch, and this is an anime, so she can’t reveal her true feelings until the last episode. Kodaka, not even knowing what gender Not-Ash was, offers more exposition about what happened to that sod of a kid, devolving into friendship fluff that makes the fucking ponies look subtle.

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