Animation Revelation's Animation Blog

Absolute Duo

New year, new season, new clusterfuck! Will we see any real improvement over last year’s fresh supply of flaming crap? Sadly no, as Absolute Duo feels like a sloppy seconds of all that went wrong in 2014. Magic school? CHECK. Weird girls from made-up European countries? CHECK. Yoshitsugu Matsuoka? CHEEEEEEECK. Well I sure picked a winner?!? DOUBLE CHECK AND MATE SUCKAH!

In Jolly Old England (at least I think it is, Big Ben makes an appearance in the first two minutes), there is a school for magic where A: the entrance exam is to smack the shit out of the person sitting next to you, B: the headmaster is clearly Kuroneko after she went insane due to Kirinosuke, C: your home room teacher is an insane maid/Playboy bunny hybrid, and D: there is no D. Our Generic Yoshitsugu Matsuoka Protagonist (GYMP) is the rather unfortunately named Thor, a well mannered boy from Japan who has come to this school to learn how to use his soul generated magic weaponry for good. Problem being said weaponry is a shield instead of a sword making him something of a…wait for it…irregular at this magic high school! AHAHAHAHAHAHA godIhatethisseasonalready.

Meanwhile there’s also a white haired girl with no personality named Julie he’s been pared to be his soulmate. They end up bunking together and drinking tea and that’s the episode. No really that’s it. Even less happens in this than both Mahouka and Trinity Seven. Not sure how that worked.

Absolute Duo’s main defining characteristic is it doesn’t have one. This show is as generic as generic gets which is utterly unsurprising due to its increasingly banal magic school genre. Seriously, we had like 10 of these in the last two years. And to various degrees, they all sucked, save for Magi: The Kingdom of Magic which isn’t a magic school show as much as it is a battle shonen which had one arc set a magic school. This show falls squarely in the middle. Its not nearly as insufferable as Mahouka or Magical Warfare, but it also doesn’t even remotely try to do anything with its concept ala Witchcraft Works. It just is. It exists but doesn’t do anything to justify its existence. In a way, that’s kinda worse. At least Unbreakable Machine Doll had its sheer annoyance factor make it distinctive (THIS IS NOT A POSITIVE). Absolute Duo?…nothing. Absolutely nothing. — Lord Dalek

Aldnoah.Zero 2nd Season

In a perfect world, I would be excited for another cour of Aldnoah.Zero. In a perfect world, Gen Urobuchi would have delivered on his promise of an old school style giant robot show that still managed to bring new ideas to the table. In a perfect world, we’re not in Iraq, the Republicans did not win the Senate and lost the House last November, the College Football Playoff was a thing from 13 years ago, and I can find Tim’s Cascade Hot Jalapeno Potato Chips at my local Kroger.

Alas, this is not a perfect world and Aldnoah.Zero is still utter shit.

I tried, oh lord did I try to like season one, but no. Once Cruhteo started whipping and Slaine started shooting, there was no salvation. In a year where the Urobucher’s reputation was kicked down a couple of notches (Kamen Rider Gaim excepted), A.Z was arguably the worst of the lot, if only because Urobuchi sorta worked on it (as opposed to how Tow Ubokata fucked over Psycho-Pass 2) and Ei Aoki clearly did. But that doesn’t matter now, none of that matters. We have arrived at season two, no hope necessary, this show is irredeemably awful and the gloves are coming off.

So where were we? Oh yeah. Nobody died! That whole kill-em-all ending? Thrown right out the window. Saucebomb was only mostly dead, Eggy’s back with robot eyes because why the hell not, and Slaine now has his precious Asseylum stored away in a cryogenic tube which he spends every night fingering himself looking at. I wish was making this up. I wish… Otherwise, its been 19 months and the crew of Space Battleship Otomamay (now reduced to the ones we don’t remember + crazy strangler girl) are soaking up the sun at the beach. But suddenly a mean old VERS Kataphrakt with freezing powers appears and makes their beach party into a snowman building competition in t-minus! Since every other Earth millitary guy has been awful to date, who could be the only one to show up and save the day but…OH FUCK HIM FUCK HIM WITH AN WHISK!

What’s left to say? There is no light at the end of this tunnel. Only the unintentional comedy keeps me going. Will the last fried egg please turn out the light. — Lord Dalek

Assassination Classroom

The most notable moment of the first episode of AssClass for me was the lengthy conversation I had with Mahou in regards to the confusion we had over the gender of the main protagonist. This, my friends, is Nagisa.

Believe it or not that’s actually a guy!….somehow. It was literally the only thing we got from watching this 24 minute exercise in drab shonenshit tedium. Way to go Kishi, you somehow managed to distract us from the rest of your shitty show by posing difficult questions we did not want to answer.

As for the rest of Assassination Classroom, well its all about the Sensei. He is literally the only interesting character in the show and it makes me wonder why the show should be about trying to kill KoroSensei rather then KoroSensei trying to kill everybody else. The problem is that concept would simply turn the show into Battle Royale and everybody would simply complain to Shonen Jump that this is a blatant ripoff instead of a “subtle” one. Frankly I’ll take entertainment over attempts to protect “originality” any day thank you very much.

So what does one say about Assassination Classroom? Nothing. It is about as lame as the lamest anime Shonen Jump has produced and boy howdy was that lame. Already have I forgotten what I watched about it. In fact I no longer even remember what I just typed. — Lord Dalek

Second Opinion!

Yusei Matsui’s Assassination Classroom was virtually an overnight success when it started serialization in Weekly Shonen Jump in 2012. In fact, it is easily one of it’s most popular currently running titles, regularly competing with One Piece for the #1 spot in the magazine and a mainstay in the top 5, not to mention being one of the highest selling manga in general for the last two years, which are no small feats. No doubt you’ve heard of the series before, or you’ve at least seen Korosensei’s smiling face somewhere while surfing the internet. So the question is – does this anime live up to the hype?

I’d say “no,” myself. However, don’t get the wrong idea here. I’ll tell you right now that I am a fan of this series. In fact, right now I’d say it is one of two currently-running weekly manga that I look the most forward to reading every week, alongside Yamada-kun and the Seven Witches (which will be getting an anime adaption this spring). That said, most shonen series take a while to pick up steam and Assassination Classroom is no exception. That isn’t to say it started at a low point and made me go “why the hell is this popular?,” like how I found The Seven Deadly Sins for the first three volumes. Rather, despite the weird premise, it plays out as a pretty straightforward “unorthodox teacher helps troubled students” and “friendship and teamwork rah rah rah” series for a while and wasn’t particularly hilarious or interesting in the execution of that. Eventually when the series moves away from that and more plot threads start getting set up and some of the characters start getting development the series picks up a lot of steam, and by the time the “Island Time” arc ended I was pretty much sold on the series, but the early stuff is still a slow burn. That makes going back and watching this first episode after reading the superb “God of Death” arc for the past four months kind of jarring for me. Especially seeing things like Nagisa being kind of a whiny pushover and Terasaka being a jerk-ass bully, it just makes me go “wow, this series has come a long way, huh?”

But enough about the manga, we’re here to talk about the anime adaption right? Well, this first episode is a pretty straightforward adaption of the first chapter of the manga and the set-up is pretty simple. It’s also just one of those first episodes with a lot of exposition that’s honestly kind of boring outside of a moment or two. I can also see some people going “why?” at some things like the fact the government is letting a class 9th graders deal with killing a monster that blew up the bloody moon and such, but it’s something you just have to go “fuck it” and see where it’s going with it. What makes Assassination Classroom‘s premise interesting, and probably what drew a lot of people to it, is that first, it’s essentially about kids trying to kill their teacher. Who didn’t ever fantasize about doing that at some point in their childhood? Second, it’s a light commentary on the japanese education system. As cartoonishly mean-spirited as the teachers and other students came across here, the idea behind Class E and the general treatment of the subject is actually decent satire for a shonen series, and as it goes on more interesting things are played with it.

The third and probably the most important factor to AC’s popularity is, clearly, Korosensei himself. His smiling yellow face and small beady eyes, frolicking tentacles, playful attitude, and a spot-on performance by Jun Fukuyama is easily the most entertaining thing in this first episode. Korosensei is just a fun character in general and what helped keep me reading through the early chapters of the series. The fact that he plays both the villain and the mentor figure to the students also makes for an interesting dynamic. He is both the one who is looking out the most for them and pushing them to do and be their best, while at the same time he’s threatening to blow up the planet and kill their families if they rub him the wrong way, and they only have a year to off the guy before he delivers on his threat. Of course, as a villain Korosensei is fairly transparent. It’s pretty obvious that his real goal is to help out the students of Class E and the whole blowing up the moon thing was just a means to an end in order to do that. No, this isn’t something that’s been revealed in later chapters of the manga or anything, this is just the obvious observation I made the first time I read the first chapter and comes off no less obvious in this first episode. Not to say the flashback scene weakens the effectiveness of him as a character, but it’s something you just instinctively go “yeah, I know where this is going” when you see it.

Production-wise this turned out better than you might think of a Seiji Kishi-directed anime. I don’t have anything against the man myself, since I’ve barely seen any of his stuff besides Carnival Phantasm (which I quite liked), but I watched a few episodes of that Hamatora show he did last year, which was pretty shitty looking among other things, and the bits I have seen of some of his other stuff like Daganronpa didn’t look all that hot either. AC looks pretty decent though, with nice color design and staging and stuff, much better than I thought it would from the previews. What’s really lacking is the super stiff and obvious minimal as possible animation, which is really a drag to see at times. The OST is pretty forgettable too. I suppose the opening does kinda stick out, but mostly in a “what the hell am I watching?” kind of way more than anything else (I generally like it when the main characters of a series sing the opening/ending themes, though).

Overall the presentation isn’t particularly good or bad, but it works all right. I said before I don’t think AC lives up to it’s hype, and that’s because for as popular and hyped as it is, if you were to just judge it by this first episode it doesn’t seem all that special. Still, this is a competently made adaption and I have no doubt the series is going to pick up more fans and popularity because of it. Considering the first volume of the manga has stayed in the New York Times best selling manga list for 4 weeks now, I have a pretty good feeling that Korosensei is about to take the american anime fandom by storm, if not the world.  Some people will probably just be bored for the first few episodes while the series is still in it’s “Korosensei helps a kid find what they are good at” phase and might as well skip it, but most will probably like the series just fine as it is, and only better as it goes on. — Cartoon X

Cute High Earth Defense Club LOVE!

Well that was boring. I expected something far sillier, and only got people discussing the ingredients to make Japanese stew. Half of the episode is “Chikuwabu is the element of Oden” and “Chikuwabu is nothing on its own”, and while I know what they’re getting at by using the food as allegory, this show spends too much time and feels as meandering as hearing Araragi speak. Maybe it’s a cultural divide because I had to google the ingredient names, but this makes 5-minute scenes feel like half an episode. I just get constant re-iterations on food, and how to make such food, and why the food won’t be complete without special care. People predicted that anime fans would be mad over the magical boys part, but I suspect they’ll be more annoyed by the culinary allusions. They even fight a food monster themed around their Chikuwabu discussion, and it’s not exactly poetry for their discussions to drift into that. I expected more wit from the School Rumble guy.

I get the sense (and from looking at the show’s pedigree) that it wants to be witty and subversive, but that all falls apart because it’s 2015. Clichés like calling out your attacks and doing Sailor Moon poses have been called out for years. Do you think you’re the first ever show to acknowledge how stupid magical girl shows can be? It’s like those books that pretend to be breaking story conventions when they’re guilty of even more clichés than the series they’re parodying. Maybe this show would’ve been an interesting shock to the status quo of magical girl shows in 2002 at the latest. The tropes it mocks are ones that even PreCure barely touches nowadays. The average episode of Aikatsu has more self-awareness of its genre than this. When the show has little in the way of humor other than “Wouldn’t it be funny if guys wore dresses?”, it feels quaint. That’s what I can say for this show. It’s quaint. — Bloody Marquis

Second Opinion!

I don’t know what to make of this show. I didn’t even know this was a show until at least a week ago, and only three days ago I was informed it was to start broadcasting this season. I would have prefered it stay in the dark until it developed an identity, because Cute High Earth Defense Club LOVE! was a big dump of dull.

You see, a magical boy show is something the anime industry has neglected. It’s a idea that could be well handeled if exploited correctly. However, Adorable Secondary Ground Protection Organisation LUST! or whatever it was called doesn’t blend well, nor does it bode well for its future. It appears to be a show aware of its premise, and tries to be satirical with it, but ends up failing due to not being able to properly convey this self-identity awareness – simply discussing how stupid the power of love sounds does not equal satire. In the end, it just falls into place with any other typical magical boy/girl show. I’d like this idea if it was placed into more capable hands.

I don’t know what to write about this show, either. It left a bland taste in my mouth, and when the episode finished, I completely forgot that I had watched it. This is not helped by the fact the show isn’t very pleasing to the eye. It appears to be the show production studio Diomedea put the least effort into, considering they are producing three shows this season along with LOVE! (Kantai Collection: KanColle, Unlimited Fafnir, and World Break being the other shows). The character designs are normal. The music is normal. I hate to say it, but this show is normal, and with such bland normality, comes forgetableness. Can this show pull itself together? Who knows, but I hope they stop talking about chikuwabu and the significance of it, because the introduction to the episode made me feel like I was watching the latest installment of Monogatari. Chikuwabugatari.

I think this show tries to use shock value to create humour. ‘Seeing a male high-school student in a magical boy outfit should create laughs, right?’ is probably a thought the writer of the show had in his head. Watching a pink wombat with a croaky voice discuss the powers of love isn’t as funny as I would like. They didn’t even make the wombat look cute. Some dude has skin-coloured eyes, too. I’m so disappointed with this show now.

Also, why the hell are Nagisa Hazuki and Utena Tenjou in this show?  Utena deserved better. — Mahou Shounen

Death Parade

…well that was a thing.

Death Parade is probably the most anticipated show of the season, and for once, it doesn’t actually disappoint! This show is absolutely ridiculous, teetering precariously between uncomfortable social commentary and sick and twisted black comedy. Its as if somebody at Madhouse spent the entire night watching the old Amicus Tales from the Crypt and Vault of Horror movies from the 70s and went “Hey! Lets make THIS into an anime.” And yes I am well aware of the source material this was derived from, a one off short from two years ago where a couple of guys played a game of pool to the death, but I couldn’t remember for the life of me what it was about (no thanks to Trigger) so… NYAH!

Here’s the plot. Play darts or you die! Nah that’s too simple. A pair of newlyweds find themselves in Quindecim, a creepy bar run by a taciturn man with no memory of how they got there. The reason for their purpose here, to play a game of death. The winner gets to leave, the loser hung out back in a meat locker (not kidding!). As the episode progresses, we get to learn a little more about our couple and the secrets of their past which of course seriously influences the course of the game. And if you’ve seen one of the aforementioned Amicus horror flicks then you can guess where this is going. The two are actually already dead and the game decides who gets to go to heaven or hell…or does it?

Death Parade is an anthology show so there’s really no point in trying to get aquainted with the characters. Instead its all about the atmosphere and that atmosphere is nothing but uncomfort and dread. Madhouse nails it perfectly and it really gets you into the show, especially coming off a very strange and almost comedic opening that doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the show at all (doesn’t make it any less awesome though). For once, I’m actually interested in where a show is going to go this season.  Good for you Madhouse! — Lord Dalek

Second Opinion!

Death Parade is another step in the right direction for Madhouse, after the dark years of the company suffering with a case of ‘bad anime production’. With Parasyte: the maxim and Death Parade in hand, and many promising shows in the future announced, can Madhouse fully redeem itself and enter the inevitable Madhouse Renaissance?

Based off the 2013 Anime Mirai short Death Billiards (also animated by Madhouse), Death Parade maintains the original concept of a death game and introduces new games such as darts (as featured in this episode) to the table. In this installment, a newly-married couple arrives at the bar Queen Dequim, the setting of the show, and they meet the enigmatic bartender and main protagonist, Dequim. Dequim is a silent, serious man who oversees the Death Games and ultimately decides their winner in secret. As the couple play to be freed, terrible secrets emerge as the game reaches its climax.

Death Parade is a stylish-looking show, with an interesting colour palate full of moody and dark colours and unique, alluring character designs. Its simple plot is easy to follow, but its straightforward approach is its greatest strength in regards to its story; the show is in complete control of itself, and knows what it is trying to be, giving off a good first impression. Dequim is a cryptic and curious individual, and the show would be in great service to explain more about him later in the series. It appears Death Parade will be a episodic-type series, but with some plot carrying on from episode to episode.

The show without a doubt has the best opening of the season, Flyers by Bradio. The fun feel of the song coupled with energetic animation provides the best introduction to the show, even if the show itself isn’t happy-go-lucky. With the setting of the show being a bar featuring bar games, the music is smooth and full of jazz tracks. This helps improve the mood of the show, making it more atmospheric and similar to a bar in the real world. The animation is handled well, staying on-model throughout the entire episode with more fluid and energetic animation used as the condition of the human characters, Takashi and Machiko, decreases with their breaking psyche.

There is not a lot to say about Death Parade without spoiling it; it is one of the best shows of the Winter 2015 season, a season plagued by mediocre anime. It is highly recommended. — Mahou in the Hole

Dog Days”

It’s a dark terror that has haunted me for over two years. Dog Days was about as derivative as you could get but it wasn’t the worst thing 2011 can and did offer. The following year’s Dog Days’ on the other hand was a shameless pile of the most awkward trashy fanservice ever devised by human hands and just the mention of it triggers my gag reflex. And then… the announcement of a third season in 2013…oh god. But then, nothing came of it! A whole year went by with no sign of Dog Days 3 and then another! It seemed like Masaki Tsuzuki had finally lost interest in his product and was ready to move. Alas October came and Dog Days” was finally anounced. Oh god why….

Well let’s get this over with. When we last left bland idiot git Shinku Izumi, he spent a rather uneventful summer in Flognard with his not-girlfriend Becky and annoying bitch cousin Nanami which ended with a lot of creepers and not much else. Three months later, they’re back again but not before a freak bolt of lightning sends Shinku and Nanami off course to the Dragon Forest instead of Biscotti and Gallette respectively. So instead of dealing with the usual losers, our pair of erstewhile heroes has to deal with new jerk Sharu and a slew of dinosaurs. How will they survive?!?

One does not expect quality from the Dog Days franchise so I was honestly surprised to have what could be considered a return to “form” for it. Oh it’s still not good at all but after the nightmare fuel that was Dash, its nice to see Masami Tsuzuki is at least TRYING this season to do something with his lameass Final Fantasy fanwank. Apparently those two years off did help stew some ideas around that black hole of quality. Does that mean anything though? No not really. Soon or later we’re going to get back to the usual waste of Shinku getting shoved into Yukikaze’s rack, or Nanami stroking Leonmitcheli’s erogenous zones, or those damn tentacles *shudder*. In which case, I will not be the last to say “See I told you so!” — Lord Dalek

Second Opinion!

Dalek requested I legitimately put time and effort into writing about the first episode of this series (pfft!), presumably because it’s one of his favorites or something. Doing so is certainly better than the alternative of dressing up as Shinku and twerking to the theme tune for him, so I suppose I’m happy to oblige.

Everything about this show is pain. The visuals, writing, voice acting, even the fucking title are horrendous. Dog Days Double Dash, eh? I didn’t realize this was a Mario Kart spinoff. I suppose the music is alright, but its general competence is made up for by some of the most obnoxious character designs I’ve ever seen. Nearly everyone has little tails that wag to and fro, candy-colored hair, and the sweetest demeanor imaginable, and it’s all about as sickening as supposed cutesy anime gets. And yet, though the first half of this episode tries to be quote kawaii unquote, I’VE SEEN THE TENTACLE RAPE TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE FROM SEASON 2, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. NOTHING WILL EVER BE ADORABLE AGAIN.

Ahem. As far as I can tell, most of the main characters are named after food, except for the protagonist, who is named after that thing you wash your hands in. Everyone calls him “Shinku” in the episode proper, but we all know that’s to help him cover the shame he feels over his birth name, Sink. It’s good that there will always be someone nearby to help clean up when this show causes me to vomit uncontrollably, at least.

I’ve come to the conclusion that, after this episode, I’ve seen enough anime. I will never watch or blog about it again. Dog Days” has completely killed my love for the medium. — Foggle

Addendum!

But for real, sorry that my entries for this season’s clusterfuck are so short and insubstantial. I’ve been tired/busy/sick/depressed/other worthless excuses as of late and thus haven’t really had the chance to write much recently. Oh, and Dog Days sucks, but this episode wasn’t that terrible, and was still better than the entirety of the previous two seasons.

Fafner Exodus

So, uh, if Xebec actually made a second season of Fafner, that means the long-awaited Nadesico season 2 can’t be far behind, right? …Right? — Foggle

Gourmet Girl Graffiti

Ladies and gentlemen, the unholy union of modern anime has finally come upon us. In this corner: Studio SHAFT and director Akiyuki Shinbo, makers of increasingly annoying excursions into godawful style over increasingly disgusting substance. In the other: scriptwriter Mari Okada, purveyor of trite SOL crap and assorted regurgitated fantasy tropes that go nowhere. Truly this will be hell on Earth and there shall be no survivors.

TWENTY THREE MINUTES LATER…

…its not that bad. Hell, Koufuku Graffiti may end up being the most “normal” thing SHAFT has produced in years. I suspect that Okada seems to have reined in Shinbo’s weirdness for the better, and while that might not produce anything not destined to join Mekakucity Actors and Sasami-san@Gabaranai in the SHAFT obscurity bin, it at least makes this show actually WATCHABLE for once.

The plot: moeblobs eat food. …well that was quick. Oh okay, they also ORGASM after eating food because that’s what every moeblob does now when its faced with a mindblowing inarizushi. There’s also something about parental conflicts created by sudden pushes into vegetarianism but that’s window dressing, this show is all about the foodporn. And as Japanese foodporn goes, Graffiti is lodged square in the middle, somewhere inbetween the two extremes of Iron Chef and full-on Tampopo. In typical Okada fashion, this show wants you to think its a yuri but only goes so far before jumping back, so instead of food and uncomfortable underage shoujo-ai, its just food. And I’ll take that. No questions asked.

Now where does that leave Shinbo being Shinbo? Well outside of the prerequisite SHAFT tilts and unmoving plaid/polka dots, the typical SHAFTiness has been considerably reined in. The animation is pretty decent this time and not some conceptual art project ala Monogatari. We’re not forced to read mounds of on-screen text that make no sense and there is not one bit of SHAFT wind. In the end, this could easily have been made by some other studio for once! If that’s a compliment, I don’t know what is. — Lord Dalek

The Idol M@ster Cinderella Girls

It seems to be a running trend throughout the Winter 2015 anime season to think the shows released during the season don’t leave its viewer with long-lasting thoughts or impressions. This running trend has ground, and it always will. This season is one of the weakest in recent years. THE iDOLM@STER Cinderella Girls helps support this, by providing a show so full of boredom it sapped my life energy.

This is my first exposure to THE iDOLM@ASTER, and I’d really like it to be the last. I was not very impressed by this episode, as it was dreadfully boring and dull to watch. The idol genre is known for being quite grading to experience, and this is no exception. The animation is standard, the character designs distracting and unappealing, the plot….was there a plot? I think so. I can’t remember. The music is very lovely on the ears though, thanks to MONACA’s musical capabilities.

THE iDOLM@STER is probably a series with a very weird and niche demographic – people who help 15-year old girls become idols, whilst their producer is stern and creepy and follows potential idols around. For me, it was exhausting to watch. For its target demographic, it’s a dream come true.

Just don’t let the glass slipper break while it’s on your foot, making it bleed like no tomorrow. There is no rest for the strong, after all. — m@HOUM@STER

JoJo’s Ludicrous Excursion Part 3: Sunsand Champions Part 2: Arabian Fights

I’ve always been weary of the JoJo’s series. A blatant Pokemon ripoff to the core (Iggy is obviously a Sandshrew clone and Jotaro clearly rips off that one monkey thing that kept beating up Ash), with way too much flamboyant manliness for it’s own good, JoJo has become the cancer killing anime and dragging people away from the glorious 90s cartoon master race. The hacks that make this doesn’t even have the dignity to put cute girls in short skirts for us to fap to as we ignore the show itself. Of the one and a half episodes I’ve watched, neither has shown the promise of developing a deep and layered plot. I still don’t fully understand how they travel on those dotted lines on the map. It pails in comparison to similar shows, such as Cow and Chicken or Sonny With A Chance. But I thought that clip from the series final that I saw on Youtube, in which Jotaro smashes some rocks, was the perfect way to end the series.

So I have to ask, why continue? What is the point? Who cares about a Hey Arnold! character farting on people’s faces or this blind African singer? JoJo’s Oddball Vacation worked better when it was contained to just one season. Stretching it out like the shitty shounen it is just makes it worse. And of course the music just gets more and more awful. They couldn’t even get the ending theme right. Like everyone else, I was expecting Demi Lovato’s “Get Back” to be the new ending theme, and like everyone I was incredibly disappointed. Really, “JoJo’s Abnormal Road Trip Part 9 or something” is just a waste of time. I’ve got to check Demi’s Twitter again anyway. — DarkSydePhivator

Second Opinion!

David, you magnificent trolls. Posing/10. — ShadowGentleman

KanColle

Based on a wildly popular online card game. Kantai Collection (or Kancolle for short) is about girls that are anthropomorphic reincarnations of World War II battleships fighting demonic sea-monster thingies, and they do this by having guns and missle launchers straped on to them.

Holy fucking shit that is awesome.

Unfortunately instead of focusing on this, the anime chooses to follow newbie shipgirl Fubuki, who has quite possibly the blandest character design I’ve seen from this show, and her slice-of-life antics with her sisters-in-arms, and swooning over her sempai, Akagi (who probably would’ve been a much better protagonist). The SoL segments weren’t necessarily bad, in fact they even had a few good moments for yuri fans such as myself, but I’m much more interested in the “cute anime girls fighting sea-monsters” thing. One could say that the focus on a newcomer character is to introduce the world and characters to non-fans…except that the anime apparently assumes that the viewer is already familiar with the franchise and its characters, thus rendering it as mostly padding for newcomers. The battles, while enjoyable, felt a little too slow-paced and suffered from some poor music direction, one can only hope this was because it was just an introductory episode, and not indicative of what the show will be for its entire run.

Despite all these flaws, I really enjoyed this first episode, despite having not played the card game (though I am interested in checking it out, especially after watching this). Most of the character designs are nice, the OST is pleasant, and the battles are fun. The biggest plus for Kancolle so far (outside of its ridiculously awesome premise) is the animation,  it’s pretty damn easy to tell that the of the three Diomeda shows airing this season, the bulk of their budget went into this show, the show just looks really great and is easily one of the best looking shows of the season, shoddy looking CGI notwithstanding. Sadly it seems I’m in the minority when it comes to liking the Kancolle anime as a non-fan, but whatever. If you like ridiculous premises, yuri undertones, and moe anthropomorphications, then check this out, if not, then you’re probably candy ass.

Also, there are arrows that transform into planes piloted by chibi’s. If that’s not the coolest thing ever then I don’t know what to say to you. — Rynnec

Second Opinion!

After watching the first episode, there are three criteria I assume you must fulfill to enjoy this show:

1) Do you know what KanColle is?
2) Do you care?
3) Have you ever intentionally read a doujin based on it?

If you answered “yes” to all three of these questions, you’ll probably like the anime adaptation. If not, well… you could do worse, I guess. — Foggle

Kuroko’s Basketball Season 3

If you got excited watching Kuroko play with his balls on both previous occasions, I’m sure you’ll still find it invigorating the third time around. — Foggle

Maria the Virgin Witch

Bandai Channel aired this on their website a day before the TV airing, and I can see why they would. Not as like a special sneak peak at their new hit show or any of that nonsense, but like how Nickelodeon shoved Korra into streaming. This show is not something that demands a grand entrance, but one that warrants a quiet exit out of the fire escape. And without the context, it would seem sad. After all, this is Goro Taniguchi’s return to directing after a few years of storyboard slumming. For all of the faults in a show of his that I shan’t name, he was a director that could prove to entertain any viewer. Even if his ideas were stupid, he could pull them off into something interestingly dumb rather than just plain idiocy. S-CRY-ed was really dumb, but I liked watching it all those years ago.

This, however? I like swords-and-sorcery fantasy and all, but this was boring. It only had two seconds of any fantasy before going back to writing more suited for The Waltons. About the only interesting thing in this show is that the main character likes to sleep in the nude. I could compliment this anime and say that it can be decently animated at times, while plodding at the worst moments. I could say that even with all of the boorish storytelling, this is an anime that you could watch as background noise and not feel any discomfort. But then, they reveal how this is an analogue for Joan of Arc’s life, and I think “Really?” You’re going to commit to that, when the knights in this show are as active as Space Invaders? Just tell me when the Gilles de Rais counterpart shows up so I can pretend I’m watching The Caster Show. — Bloody Marquis

The Rolling Girls

There are shows and then there’s this show. Its not even a show, its an experience. Its not even an experience really, its a way of life. Its not even an even… It is what it is and what it is is The Rolling Girls. Easily the most bloody insane 24 minutes of animation you’re likely to see in the Winter 2015 season, only Death Parade comes close and even that reins itself in by the end. Rolling Girls by comparison is nothing but sheer energy and joy. When it ends you feel emotionally drained, as if a little brightness in your soul has been snuffed out, just like finding out all your They Might Be Giants LPs are now scratched and don’t play anymore. The Rolling Girls is the true birdhouse in your soul.

So what’s it about? Well I don’t really know. Hell I don’t think Wit Studio knows. They just figured “Fuck it, we’re going to be stuck making Attack on Titan for the rest of our lives, lets out-trigger Trigger!” And on that day, the story of weird mafia prefectorial battles featuring Kamen Rider/Sentai wannabes and Satsuki Kiryuuin clones brandishing giant clothes pins was born. Apparently this also involves girls on motorbikes but this weeks episode mostly focused on competitive ramen eating and random acts of amusement park rollercoaster terrorism. This is what the Rolling Girls is, its not for mere mortals like myself to comprehend. You cannot define it by any form of human concept.

So the question dear reader obviously poses is “Should I watch The Rolling Girls?” Well in the words of a black man in a snakeskin trenchcoat, noone can be told what The Rolling Girls really is and you have to see it for yourself. The difference being that this is already 10x better than any flick the Wachowski siblings have spewed out in the 15 years since Neo bent backwards. And perhaps far more inspiring as well! — Lord Dalek

Second Opinion!

So Joseph Joestar walks into a bar high on LSD and ends up having drunken sex with Ryuko Matoi. The resulting child is raised by Samurai Flamenco, befriends Space Sheriff Shaider, and goes to Amagi Brillent Park. This show is that child. This show is every anime I’ve liked in recent times shoved into one show. This show is amazing. — ShadowGentleman

Saekano -How to Raise a Boring Girlfriend-

Shows who believe that making fun of shows with certain aspects makes them better or more enjoyable are the worst kinds of anime out there. Saekano: How To Raise a Boring Girlfriend makes this mistake within its very first minute, and it goes downhill from there. By explaining the things wrong with modern-day anime and then doing the exact thing it was mocking is not only hypocritical, but painfully unamusing. Saekano is not your comedy anime this season, and it never will be. A-1 Pictures has raised a boring anime.

The show follows a group of friends who take part in a doujin circle – in this opening episode, the team are scouting for areas and scenarios for their Winter Comiket game. Hijinks ensue, such as ping pong and hot river fanservice. That’s the entire episode. Fun, huh?

I honestly don’t have a lot to say about this show, mostly because it was too boring to register a thought beyond ‘wow, this is boring’. The show flaunts around fanservice like an incentive to keep watching it, whilst the character designs look too boring to be seen as different. The characters themselves are boring, too. Every aspect regarding this show’s existence is too mundane, too dull, and again, too boring. Boring really sums it up, so the title lives up to itself in one regard. Also, Utaha Kasumigaoka looks Sayumi Takahashi from Inou-Battle, a show which also tried too hard to be seen as something it’s not.  Why do some anime try too hard?

That’s all I got. Saekano is dull, uninspired and unintelligent. Stay away. — Maehouno

Shonen Hollywood -Holly Stage for 50-

Shounen Hollywood? Shit, man, if I wanted to watch an idol show, I’d… stop and think very hard about what had happened in my life to make me legitimately consider doing so. — Foggle

Tantei Opera Milky Holmes TD

As a recent long term Sherlock Holmes, I was rather worried about viewing this particular Japanese illustrated moving picture. This is understandable, given the Japanese races’ perchance for taking respectable literary works and transforming them into escapist reveries populated by prepubescent females. I must very relived to discover that this story dealt not with pedophilic flights of fancy, but instead with the often overlooked problems facing werewolves in future society. Our dear Holmes had managed to preserve himself into the distant future, where he set it upon himself to continue his duty. Like any good Holmes series, nothing is ever quite what it seems. The case I witnessed started with a run-of-the-mill lover’s quarrel soon develops into something more: a man who is transformed into a hideous beast by his own experiments. Never have I seen such an emotional merry-go-round, juggling the concepts of love, faithfulness, humanity, and and questioning one’s very being with great ease. This may not only be one of the best renditions of the Holmes mythos in recent years (surely better then that dreadful production starring the dragon and the elf), but one of the best pieces of entertainment currently available. I give it my highest recommendation. — Timothy Bourbon Belmonte III

The Testament of Sister New Devil

You ever have that feeling of Deja Vu? That sensation that you’ve watched a show 20 times in the last year already? Well that’s this show. Testament of Sister New Devil is yet another europhane bag of Ecchi trash from the TNK-wannabes at IMS, but one that’s completely biodegradable and made out of 99.999999999% recycled materials! The character designs are borderline retraces from other shows. The plot is clearly derived from either some random light novel generator or an edition of Mad Libs. The music is the clinical definition of “background”. There is literally nothing to say about it because I’ve already written or said the same thing about shows like Bladedance and DxD which this show is so desperate to ape, but try I must…

Ok so there’s this normal guy and his dad is getting remarried. That means normal guy has to spend time with his new stepsister and her, oddly unrelated, live-in help. But this being anime SHOCK! sister is actually the daughter of some demon lord and the live-in help is actually some lame Disgaea reject! Their attempts at brainwashing normal guy go horribly awry when it turns out he’s actually the descendent of god warriors or something! What kind of wacky hijinx will ensue between these three?!? (cue the music)

This show is the pits. If it was slightly more revolting or at least tried to have a sense of humor about itself, I might have had SOMETHING to write about. As it stands, Testament is the essence of tedium. It only exists to be part of your hazy memory as you wait for something else to come on like that boat girls on waterskis thing. And in that regard it is probably the most representative example of the anime industry in general now. Sorry Shirobako, you are no longer pertinent. — Lord Dalek

Second Opinion!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH- yeah, no. — Foggle

Unlimited Fafnir

For those who aren’t up on their Wagnerian opera (or at least its greatest “fanfic”, Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings), let’s have a history lesson. In Das Rheingold, Fafnir is the name of a giant who (along with his brother Fassolt) is shammed into building Valhalla by Wotan with the promise of receiving the apple maiden Freya as his payment. After renegging on the deal, Wotan instead provides the two giants with a huge pile of lucre he has aquired from the dwarves of Nibelheim. However there’s one small trinket missing, a (or rather THE) Ring that the evil dwarf Albrecht has forged out of the Rheingold that makes other due his bidding. When Wotan is forced to relinquish it as well, the two giants fight each other for it with Fafnir ultimately killing Fassolt. In the end, he uses The Ring to transform into a dragon and then spends Die Walkure chilling out in his cave with his huge stash o’cash before finally getting what’s coming to him by way of Siegfried and his recently reforged sword Nortung.

….what does this have anything to do with Unlimited Fafnir? Well in typical light novel Ring Cycle obsession, not much outside of weirdly appropriated window dressing. In this show, 25 years ago, dragons began to attack the earth before vanishing without a trace. 23 years later, the dragons return, however their first appearance has had a lingering effect on the population. Children known as “D”, all having tatoos in the shape of a wing, and all sporting the same magic powers as the dragons are beginning to pop up in the world. The funny thing is, they’re all girls (and tsunderes to boot) except for one… and he’s a GYMP… goddammit this is just Absolute Duo again isn’t it?

I can’t believe it, this is the same goddamn show I watched last Tuesday except with more stupid technobable and 100% more dubst-OH GOD ITS MAHOUKA TOO NOW ISN’T IT?!?! Yeah anime is so far out of ideas that the well has already gone dry for the stupid magic school genre and its only been around for about five years. Obviously this is Diomedea’s way of scoring a cheap quick cash-in before that tract gets drained but the milkshake’s already been drunk. No shits were given by I for this shit. — Lord Dalek

World Break: Aria of Curse for a Holy Swordsman

Have you seen Unlimited Fafnir? Yes? Then you’ve seen World Break. — Foggle

Yatterman Night

Yatterman Night begins with a rather charming scene featuring the utter obliteration of the human race leaving a scarred wasteland and a moon now reshapen to look like a creepy skull!…oh dear. Yes friends, Tatsunoko’s clearly gone off the deep end once again in order to “celebrate” the “anniversary” of one its beloved properties! In this case, its the endlessly regurgitated monstrosity that is Time Bokan, a quote-unquote classic metaseries whose existance is only known to various oldfags, Mike Toole, and Pokemon trivia masters. For the record, I have watched Time Bokan and found its the clinical definition of godawful, no wonder why Tatsunoko hasn’t been leaping at the prospect of letting Sentai dub it (as opposed to their awesomely terrible/terribly awesome Gatchaman dub). Yatterman Night should therefore naturally be an update of the second and most popular (to the point that its the only one Japan remembers) Time Bokan series, which is a bit strange because we already HAD that 7 years ago. And for what its worth, Yatterman 2008 completely thrashes the original show in both humor and quality control. As for this show, well its sort of the midpoint between those two other weird Tatsunoko updates, Casshern Sins and Gatchaman Crowds in that it basically radically updates/distorts an old 70s shonen anime for better or worse. There are, however, two differences…

A. The original Yatterman (or the 2008 remake at least) is still acknowledged canon in this series

and

B. This show’s actually good!

No I am not kidding. After two failed attempts bogged down by abstract weirdness/Kenji Nakamura not giving a shit, its refreshing to see Tatsunoko finally make one of their dark preversion seqmakes work. For one, the animation is incredibly pleasing on the eyes. The character designs, while nothing to write home about, don’t look like either stained glass windows or bad fan art. The backgrounds capture the barren and lifeless world the Doronbo gang has been cast out into better than endless flat deserts and rocks. And it seems quite a bit of money has been thrown at the framerate keeping it fairly fluid. But more to the point, Yatterman Night basically does what anybody whose watched the original Yatterman has been thinking for years, Gan-chan and Ai were bigger dicks than Doronjo, Tonzura, and Boyacky combined therefore THEY should be the villains. And in this show they are, or at least their descendents are, the exact chronology of how long this is set after the original show is never stated but it appears a few centuries have past, at least.

As for the characters, an 9-year-old Doronjo, fairly clean shaven Boyacky, and pumped-up Tonzura…well if this was written like previous Tatsunoko updates, I would be complaining about how they were either a bunch of whiny cyphers or utterly useless, but not this Doronbo gang. They have personalities, their backstory is appropriately tragic, they want revenge for a reason. And you’re rooting for them. I could never say that about Hajime, oh lord no.

In many ways Yatterman Night feels like the show I wished I was blogging two years ago with Gatchaman Crowds. One only hopes they don’t hit me with crushing disappointment sooner rather than later. — Lord Dalek

Yurikuma Arashi

I wonder if this is the director’s statement against a certain show, one where humans also defend themselves against creatures that can transform into humans by building a wall as a barrier. Maybe it’s a message on how ridiculous the premise is when you replace one look with another, turning an apocalyptic setting into a 70s shojo wonderland, though I can’t help but think teddy bears with blurry eyes are no more silly as a satire than the genuine product could deliver. Perhaps this is all a test on one’s perception of seriousness. Can scenes like a court case retain their gravity when the judge and jury all wear bear mittens and bear ears?

But I don’t expect an answer on that, or anything. Given the creator’s pedigree, I just expect more lesbians. There will be so much subtext that on-screen scissoring would look quaint. You could show this at a gay pride festival, and the audience will give odd looks. Try it in a few months when parade season starts. I dare you. It would drive the men in Divine costumes in shame, unable to come up with something as garish in their lifetimes as what Ikuhara can make in a fortnight. Even when it’s not about lesbians, this episode is so noisy. There’s so much talking and repeated phrases, a second of no dialogue probably seems like complete anathema to the production staff. It’s a constant barrage of the senses without shame, without question, and without apology.

One thing I really love about Ikuhara is that ability to create elaborate and downright stupid scenes without any hint of self-awareness to them. Any other creator would do Yuri Bear Storm with either a snarky remark or a shameful reliance on censors to hide the really naughty bits. Ikuhara, however, doesn’t care about that. There’s nothing tongue-in-cheek to his work. When he does something stupid, it’s not with a wink but with a burlesque dance. He doesn’t care if making girls lick another girl’s orchid on her groin will lower or raise BD sales. He just does it because it tickles his fetishes. It’s the same reason why the entire car scene from Adolescence of Utena happened, or the Survival Strategy. Although, I suppose that’s why it takes him years at a time to make an anime. — Bloody Marquis

Second Opinion!

Yuri Bear Storm is the latest anime by Kunihiko Ikuhara of Revolutionary Girl Utena fame. The plot, as it were, takes place in a pseudo post-apocalyptic (?) earth after a meteor storm caused by the destruction of a planet named Kumaria caused the bears on earth to become violent and attack humans. Fearing for their lives, humanity built a giant wall between them and the bears to prevent further attack, however, two bears named Giriko and Lulu disguise themselves as humans and enroll in one of their schools to feast on their homo-sapien snacks. Our story follows Kureha Tsubaki, a girl who has a strong hatred for bears and practices killing them in her spare time. Soon after Giriko and Lulu transfer, tragedy strikes when Kureha’s girlfriend becomes a victim of a bear attack.

This show is weird, to put it mildly. Being a single-cour, Ikuhara has opted to go straight into mindscrew territory, with some erotic imagery thrown in for good measure. That being said, I am liking this anime so far, and am very curious to see where it goes, everything about this show is just so bizarre that I can’t help but be drawn to it. It may seem weird on the surface, but naturally theories behind the meaning of the shows plot have already popped, and given the directors track record, I wouldn’t be surprised if these theories turned out to be legit. If you like mindscrew anime and Ikuhara’s previous works, then this will be your show of the season. — Rynnec

Third Opinion!

We have reached a point of no return. My opinions regarding Lily Bear Storm cannot be expressed in words, a thing I thought not possible. Laughter, surprise, me shouting ‘what the hell?!’ and more laughter accurately sum up my experience of Lily Bear Storm, both episodes 1 and 2. It’s a bear shock, and you have to watch it. That is all. — Mahou SHOCK

One Hundred And Twenty-Ninth Opinion!

This installment of the clusterfuck is rather unique and requires a different kind of article… — Lord Dalek