08.01
Man, this show sucks. *Big Bang Theory laugh track*
I honestly can’t even believe this OVA was produced.
That’s right! Diabolik Lovers (that horrible rape-ridden vampire show from 2013) is back, to the applause of literally no-one! The only response the OVA announcement yielded was the s̶͡oun͝d҉͘ ͝o͢f̵͜͡ ͜me̷͢ ̡̡͠vi̸̕c̢̛͟i̢͢o̡u̸͢͝s͜l͝y̸̛ c͠r͟y͏i̢̢͡n̶ǵ̢͢,́ k̡͘ņo̧̡̕c͜͝k͠in̢͞g̨ m͡y͢͢͞s͡e͞l͠f̶ ͠ba̢c͠͝͠k͢͠ ҉̷a̸͘ńd̶ ̧f̨̀҉o͞͡r̛̕t͟ḩ͘͡ ̧i̵n ͢a͡͝ ͜d́͠u̧ś̨̨t̷̨y͘,́ ͘f͟ilt͟͠͡h́y ̶c̷o҉͜r̶̢̢ne͟r̡̛ trying to forget this media franchise existed in the first place. You don’t even want to imagine my reaction to the second season announcement, because lots of bad things happened, like the destruction of my house and various destroyed cars burning in other houses. It really was like the fallout from an apocalypse.
Speaking of apocalypses, the only people I imagine enjoying Dialovers are Immortan Joe’s henchmen of the Mad Max universe, because it really fits right in with their misogynistic views on women.
What happens in this OVA? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Considering how plotless the first season was, it is a great continuation because it does nothing to further any sub-plot. You see, the only reason this OVA exists in the first place is to advertise the second Diabolik Lovers game called MORE,BLOOD. MORE,BLOOD is the source material for Dialovers’ second season, which will air during the very fitting period of Halloween, where I can cover myself in virgin blood and exorcise the show from airing. I will try everything to erase this from existence.
MORE,BLOOD is the fan-disc sequel to Haunted Dark Bridal, the aborted foetus that paved the way for the first season, but the game this OVA was packaged with is Dark Fate, which is apparently the actual canonical sequel to Haunted Dark Bridal or some shit like that? I honestly forgot to care while researching this. The only way Zexcs is getting MORE,BLOOD is if I ̡sli҉̶͜t́ m͘y͘͠ ̴̸͠w̸r̛͡i͏̷sts͏ ̷͞͠o̴p͜e̛n̛͢ ̢͜҉w̕̕͞įt͟h̶ m͘y̨ n̴͟ai̷̸l̸͘͞s ͜͞w̸̨h̡iļ̶̨e ̴́͘w͠at̕͢c͢͠h͏ín̷g̛͝ ̶͞͡t̨̡h͡is̡ anyway, the second season is based off MORE,BLOOD, which will contain the riveting plotline of Yui getting abused by the Sakamaki vampire brothers again but with a twist: you’ve got new vampires now! Yes, more douchebags are in for the ride of dehumanising Yui – the Mukami brothers, named Ruki, Kou, Azusa and Yuma. I found the names on the Dialovers Wiki, because they only mention the names once in the OVA briefly and I just forgot they actually had names apart from ‘dick #1, #2’ and so on.
There is no plot in this nameless OVA. I don’t know if this is just a bridge between the first and second season to quickly introduce the Mukami brothers, or pointless official wank animated by Zexcs for some shitty bonus item to come with the Dark Fate PSVita game that has no impact on anything related to the anime sides of the field. It’s just wank all around; 11 minutes of pure nothingness. The Mukami brothers magically pop up in the Resident Evil mansion looking for Yui, and making the Sakamaki brothers quake in their boots because masculinity or something. Ayato is still desperately controlling of Yui, slamming her against walls and wailing ‘you’re mine!’ and other excrement. I’m also sure he calls her ‘pancake’ again. Laito does call her ‘little bitch’, too. It’s like I’ve reunited with old acquaintances I desperately want to murder every second. The Mukami brothers discuss Yui with the Sakamaki brothers in various places around the house. Ruki (probably the main guy for the second season) gets to suck Yui’s blood when she finally appears, 7 minutes in! Naturally, he does it in a creepy and non-consensual way, because who f̝̭u҉̝͇̬̘̳͖͍̫͚ç̸͇̥͍̹ḳ̵͔̫̦̼̯͓̮͉i̡̩͚̜̙̱̭n̛̳͈g̷͞͏̻ ̦͇̳͕k̛͇͎͕̣͎̖̹̦n̛̛͓̦̰̲̳̣̬͟o̵͝҉͈̫̞͙̥͕ẃ̴͉̖͓̼̠s͏͕ ҉̱͔͕͞I̝͓͔͉̘͢’̧͖̥͍͔̕ḿ̝͚ ̷̺̪̳̻s̟̫̪͙̬͉̩̻͡ͅo҉̛҉̫ ҉͍͕̫͉̯̜͔̤̀ͅd̷́͏̳̣o̴͈̳͖̞n̷̯e̷͈ͅ ̻̲̮̳̫̘̭̀p҉̮͈̟̳̗̥l̬̺͇̰͝͞e̶̥̱͕͖̬̲͈͖̰͘͟a̖̰̯̻̙͘s̢̡̭̩̙͙̹̻͕͝e͎̫͕̱̤̤͟ ̮̱̟͚̙̱̝͔͝͝s̡̗a̸̜̘̻̰̻̜̠͠v̶̞̞̜͕̮͘͜ę̵̛̳̯͇͙ ̵̨̝̫̱̪͔̠̗̟ͅm̶͔̺͟͞e̫̬͎̻̝͈̼͕ ̶̪̻̯̟̹͝ͅḩ҉̼͇͚̳̼e͔̬͙̝l̴͢҉̱̤͍p̧͉̙̭̪͔̯̤̙̭͝ ͖̲m̶̱̬͔͇̀̕e҉̡͔̪̱̣̫ ̫̜͘͝ͅà͔̻̰̦̫͙n̵͔̤͖̪͕͚͙̼y̷̗͔̼͇͕̟o̧̘͉ǹ̹͈̳͖̝̼̯é̥͢ͅ
Why is Yui still hanging around with Ayato and his fuck-crew? I mean, she isn’t possessed by Cordelia any more, she can get away whenever she wants to. Unless she has Stockholm syndrome. Which is probably true because f҉҉̢u̕͘ck̀ ̧͝ȩ͘v́͘e̡͜r̸͟yt̢͠h̨̧i̶n̨҉̀g̶ a̶͜͡b̀o̵͏ut͏̀ ̧́t̛́̕hi̛͏s̶̛͞ s͏̢h͜ò̶w̷̡͞ Ayato still treats Yui like his property, and so does every other Sakamaki brother. Kanato is still a little creepy shit and all the brothers hate each other. Like how this show makes me ̛h͢at͜e̵̢ ̧m͡y͟͝sè̡l̵f ͝e͡v̶́e̴͠r̨̧̕y̵̕҉ s͘e̴c̸̡o̕nd̶̕͟ ͜Į͜͡ ͞p̀a̧y̡͟ ̨̀a͡͡͡t͞͏͜t̴e̕͢n̵t͟͠i͢o͢ń ̛t̢̛o҉̀ it͏́
So! This OVA was a complete waste of 11 minutes, life is terrible, I’ve seen Unfriended four times in the space of four months and Amagi Brilliant Park hasn’t been confirmed for a second season yet. Wake me up when I̖̤͎ ̮͉̞̪̺͡c̸̱͚̟͉a͍̖̠̥̩ͅn̺̪͉͕̯̠ ̖͚ṣ̪̗̪t͙̣a͏̳̙̱̳ͅi̱͔̙̱n͟ ̘̱͜m̷̺̮̭ͅy̢̖̜̖̻̬͓ e̖̥̦n̼̟̤̫̗̪̬e̺̘̤͖ͅm̤i̧̦̜͎͚̣ẹ̷͚̰̺s̷͙͍͓ ̼̻w̹͎̖͎͜ͅi͕͔͇t̨͈͚̠̺͎̦h͔͉͍ ̷̯t̯̲̤͔͡ḫ̨͓̗͍̜̰ȩ͔̳ ̞̖̩̝̣̯͢b͏̫̭͔̖͔̩ͅl͎oo̩̫d̤̯ ̶̭̠̳̯ͅof͚̜̦̥͎ ̴̤d̨͍̻̭̟̲e̜̦͙͜a̺̼͍̞̟͘ͅd̜͔͇̞͓ ̼͡m̦̤̤̯̮̦̪e̗̠̘̞͚̘n ̢̼à̮͇̦̰͉ṉ̷̖̗d͖ͅ ̰͖̗͈͝h̵͉̭̪͈a̻̖̮̞͝ͅn̢͇̱̱̱͍̼̝g̼͖̬̼̘͙̣ ̗͡ṭ͇͎̯̭͞h̻̣̝̗ẹ̛̖̖̻͇i͕̰̭͖̺̱̺r̦ ̶̱̺͉c͚̥̮̩̣o̷̼̮̝͍r̫̘͍̗̩̟p̵͉̟̖̩̻͚͚s̞̪̹̘̞̥̭e̶ś ̬͖͇͉̻͡o͚̰̦̭͔̖͇͜f̪̀f̬̼͞ ̪̤͔̜͘r̷o̥͎̮͔̤o̜̠̣͡f̧̯͎̤̦t̯̭̘̲̥o҉͚̜͕̟͙̥ͅp̷̝̳͓̳̟̺s͉̲͈͉̬̯͘ͅ
MORE,BLOOD starts airing in October. The emotional trauma never ends.