02.06
Episode 2: Class-Representative Selection Match
For the record, I’m not actually expecting this show to be… well, ‘ya know, good, at any point during the course of its 12-episode run. Going into a series that I was already told beforehand would suck, I’m naturally expecting the worst of the worst at the turn of every frame. That said, I am, however, expecting the 11 remaining episodes to not be as dreadfully boring as the first. After all, this is supposed to be an action series (or, at least, a softcore titty hentai series with underlying action elements). Does Episode 2 deliver? Let’s fiiiiind out!
…aaaaand in this corner, it’s the Badass Brit clad in Bluuuuueeeee!
Revelation time! As it would happen, the school seems to have “run out” of extra stock IS suits, so to compensate, the Japanese government will apparently be providing our boy Ich with his very own “personal” IS. Oh joy! The difference between the two suit models (stock and personal) is never truly elaborated upon, but I digress. Resident braggart Cecilia Alcott then struts onto the scene, largely regurgitating a number of things we already knew from Episode 1; that she’s awesome, that she’s British, and that she’s one badass motherfucker when she’s piloting an IS. Yawn. In the midst of all this shameless ego boosting, we do get another sprinkling of IS history and universal folklore; apparently, only 467 of these things exist WORLDWIDE, which is, of course, a staggering ratio in contrast to the human population of over six billion. Only the elite of the elite are privileged enough to have their very own, as she so candidly puts it. I dunno; if I were her, I’d think the fact that a dunderhead like Ichika is getting HIS own suit, which essentially puts him in the same upper echelon that she’s supposedly in, would kinda take the starch out of the whole thing… but again, I digress.
More IS history ensues, courtesy of Miss Yamada. Most of it comes down to boring, technical aspects of how an IS operates, 99.9% of which Ichika does not understand whatsoever. For apparently being able to operate one of these things himself, he sure is dense. One other tidbit of information also slips, in that Houki Shinonono (Ich’s roomie, remember?) is apparently related to THE person who builds IS suits in this very day and age, a Dr. Tabane Shinonono. I don’t know what ass they are randomly pulling this stuff out of, but I seem to recall it being said in Episode 1 that these things are manufactured by government entities for space travel (which later reverts to Olympic sport after that endeavor fails). I guess after the whole space thing failed, they harbored off the technology to outside minds. Or something; I don’t know, and I don’t even care. I suppose it’s just a convenience factor for them to invent characters on the fly, and making Houki fairly knowledgeable in how an IS operates does help to further along her relationship with Ichika (you’ll see why this is important shortly). I shouldn’t be surprised.
It is around this time that we are also treated to what might possibly be the worst scene in the entire episode. Oh, who am I kidding; it IS the worst scene. It’s not important, but I’m going to mention it anyway, because it pissed me off THAT much. Yep, you guessed it; comic relief gone horribly, horribly wrong. Random Girl #22A in class asks ol’ Yamsy if thinking of an IS suit as a “partner” is the same as thinking of it as a boyfriend, or something idiotic like that (because Yamada told the class to think of the IS as a partner, as opposed to “just a tool”). It is then implied that Yamada is, in fact, a virgin (and with hooters THAT size; who knew?), and the girls in class all squeal, call her cute, make dumb jokes, giggle uncontrollably… and I die a little inside. So far, this show tends to be more boring than bad, but other times, it’s just an absolutely pitiful excuse for entertainment.
Ichika has his sights on Houki shortly afterward, who sits alone with her thoughts. He invites her to eat lunch with him, which she coldly declines. He also invites a bunch of other girls, who do just the opposite. THOSE girls aren’t what he’s interested in, though, and his persistence in getting Houki to join in the merriment costs him a swift punch to the ground, and plenty of humble pie to go around for having his ass handed to him by a girl. She’s a bit taken back at how much weaker he’s apparently become (the two were in the same Kendo class, if you remember), but that doesn’t stop him from trying to get her to join him. Ich then grabs her by the hand, and actually drags her down to the lunchroom with him… and she DOESN’T resist this time! Not only that (and this next part really gets me), but as he’s holding her hand, the faint signs of Houki falling for our absent-minded hero are written all over her face. I still don’t know how she suddenly goes from decking him to the floor, to being slightly turned on by such a simple gesture, but whatever. It’s a show about people flying around in robot suits; it’s not supposed to make sense.
Lunch is rather boring, so we’ll skip that. If you must know, the only major event of remote importance here is that Houki offers to teach Ichika how to properly operate an IS, as he frets over his impending match with Cecilia. This doesn’t actually happen, mind you; Houki instead proceeds to kick Ichika’s ass at Kendo for about a week or so, insisting that he isn’t strong enough to operate an IS in his current state. When the actual suit is doing the bulk of the fighting FOR you, one wonders exactly why any of these measures of physical strength are considered important, but I’ve learned by now that asking questions only leads to more questions. It’s best to just assume that every character OTHER than Ichika is right; he is an idiot, after all.
Nowwwwwwwwww we’re getting somewhere, and it only took 14 grueling minutes! Ichika’s personal IS battle suit has finally arrived, and in spite of learning a whole lot of nothing on how to actually operate it, he’s ready anyway. The fight is about to begin; with Yamada and Chifuyu manning the control the tower, and Cecilia awaiting outside, Ich blasts off, as the ass-kicking of a lifetime surely awaits him. Cecilia offers him one final out-clause, saying that if he apologizes and forfeits the match, she won’t annihilate him. Ichika rebuffs her proposal, and the fight is underway. Cue lasers!
Ooooohooooo, that’s gotta hurt, Gene!
It’s pretty much back and forth action here. Actually, scratch that; it’s pretty much “Cecilia fires a bunch of lasers at Ichika, and he runs away several times” here. Yeah, that’s more like it. For being totally dense as to how an IS operates, though, Ich can and does maneuver out there quite nicely. Guess he really DOES have some past experience in piloting these things; honestly, for a while there, I was starting to think it was all BS. Even Cecilia is, surprisingly enough, in awe at how well he’s holding up.
Deciding to finally go on the offensive after she’s blasted him for the 3rd or 4th time, Ich draws out a new weapon, a “laser sword” of sorts (it’s the official IS lightsaber! Yeah!), and locks on his target. After making a slightly ridiculous, yet also noble, speech about how he’s going to start “protecting his badass, Olympic IS champion sister” or something like that, he makes his move. Just as he’s about to lay the death blow into Cecilia with his lightsaber, the buzzer sounds. Ich has just lost the match; apparently, that latest maneuver drained his suit of all of its “shield energy”, and the ironclad rules of IS clearly state that when a contestants shield energy runs dry, the match is over, and they automatically lose. Yamada and Chifuyu break down the situation during the next scene with excruciating detail… but I’m really not in the mood to get into specifics. Basically, long story short, Ich made the mistake of using something called the “Barrier-Disabling Attack”, which drained all of his shield energy. For whatever reason, this is a no-go in IS battle… and thus, Ich loses, and Cecilia wins. Sadface.
FINAL SCENE. Houki was impressed with Ichika’s battle skills, and as she continues to think about their recent “hand connection” earlier in the episode, she slowly begins to fall for him more and more (whilst also FINALLY agreeing to properly teach him the in’s and out’s of using an IS). Meanwhile, Cecilia Alcott, rather than reveling in her latest victory, is feeling totally the opposite of what one might expect from her character. Instead of gloating in her typical fashion, she finds herself alone, in the shower… THINKING ABOUT ICHIKA?!?! Say whaaaaaaaaaa? The look on her face says it all; it is strongly implied that Cecilia now has romantic feelings for Ich. Seriously. In the span of ONE episode, Ichika goes from universally reviled from two of the shows central characters, to some kind of secret love interest to the both of them, ala Helga Pataki to Arnold or some sort. As Bill O’Reilly once said, “You Can’t Explain That”.
…aaaaand, that’s all she wrote. We now close the book on Episode 2. I’ll give kudos where credit is due; it was better than Episode 1, I’ll say that much. That doesn’t exactly mean it’s worth watching, though, and I’m still expecting an all downhill ride from here (this is, after all, a harem show… and yet the harem aspects were surprisingly subdued this time, which I am obviously not expecting in future outings). Just be glad I’m the one watching this, and you aren’t. Oh, the things I do for you people…
Originally posted on Friday, September 2, 2011.