02.06
Hey, long time no trial.
At nighttime, Tomoya, Nagisa, and Fuko decide to do what any sane teenager would do, i.e. break into school. Tomoya plays the straight man and questions this idea, but Nagisa trusts this path given how her father still remembers Fuko after hearing her name. Since really, how hard can it be to forget this annoying green-haired midget? I know I unfortunately haven’t.
After a few minutes of sitting around while the opening plays, Fuko tears apart the wrappings of her gifts. When Tomoya scolds her for not being patient, she replies, “Even if my head knows it, I can’t control what my hands do.” What a surprise.
She looks at her presents, which just consist of a party hat, some candles, a microphone…. What the hell kind of presents are these?
Fuko orgasms yet again, giving Tomoya the opportunity to steal her hat. She goes into manchild rage and starts attacking Tomoya until she gets back her swag. They both fall onto the floor, leading to Fuko sitting on Tomoya’s lap like a hooker on Christmas.
Tomoya calls Fuko a fatass, then she randomly points out how neither of the two leads call each other by their first names. Wait, she’s making sense for once? Tomoya becomes stupid and says, “That is not a very logical argument.” But since she has it her way, Fuko just forces them to use honorifics and the like. So Tomoya ends up stuttering when trying to say “Nagisa-chan.”
“That just proves that the two of you are more childish than me.” Well said, midget ghost girl.
Tomoya then decides to drop the honorifics like any decent dub should do, and realizes how natural it sounds. Well, duh!
Fuko yet again becomes the sane man in the show by talking about how Tomoya and Nagisa are exactly like Future Tomoya and her sister. She then kisses both of them, which Nagisa replies by wrapping a party hat on her. Having ascended into Teletubby status, Fuko becomes giddy as bloody Blondie and wants to start a party with these… people.
Ignoring the dangers of letting Fuko near fire, they throw a celebration for the sister and her wedding that no one will go to because of Melodrama Ex Machina. They just sit around together for the next few minutes while staring at candles. Realizing that the plot makes no sense, the three all go to sleep. And by the morning, Fuko finally disappears; with the remaining two wondering what the hell they did last night.
Nagisa’s dad assumes that it’s what all of you presume and decides to bring Mr. Bat along to swing at Tomoya before being forced to just attack the air. The Furukawas don’t remember, since apparently even Fuko’s name causes people to forget. Soon after, Tomoya and Nagisa both wonder about the exact purpose of the starfish carvings that they somehow got, yet feel relaxed at the mere look at it, as if it’s their stash.
Kyou wanders in, wondering why the hell Tomoya’s been standing around doing nothing like he’s been acting every other episode. She asks him to shop with her and the doormat, but Kyou gets rejected because Tomoya’s too stupid to write down stuff about Fuko in case he’d forget it.
He sits beside Nagisa and keeps on angsting about what he needs to remember. They both walk by Hitler, who’s writing up a giant sign for the wedding. Wait, the Fuhrer can remember being told about the wedding, but Nagisa and Tomoya can’t? Why? I mean, Ms. Ibuki told them about the wedding. It’s not like she has memory denying powers or whatever the hell this show’s trying to do.
After being reminded of Ms. Ibuki, they finally remember Fuko, which causes her to automatically spawn between them. Tomoya whines about how they could have forgotten such an important commemoration, and then they hug, being so sappy that the Tanners could vomit from watching this.
The next day, they find a bunch of people at the school for the wedding, except the students since they can’t be convinced to give a damn about their teacher unless they get a starfish thrown at them. The show cuts to Future Tomoya putting the wedding ring on Ms. Ibuki. After which, the trio find a hoard of students out and about at the school. Kyou and Ryou appear, just having found their starfish at the exact bloody day of the wedding and being reminded of the wedding unlike Tomoya and Nagisa. Sunohara pops up in a bowtie, because bowties are lame. We then get a brief montage of everybody from Droopy to Glasses Girl appearing at the marriage, even those guys that beat up Sunohara in the first episode.
As the couple march out, Fuko remembers that dream of hers about starfish and shirtless Tomoya, and decides that she’s finally at peace, leading her to finally fucking disappear. Ms. Ibuki notices our humble protagonist crying, hearing him going on about how much he loved her despite how we saw nothing but them acting like bastards to each other. I’ve seen more cordial conversations between Christian fundamentalists and gay pride participants in comparison to how Tomoya and Fuko acted to each other. You’re really going to tell me these two had some special, inseparable bond? Really?
Being Clannad, Fuko appears again to give her sister a starfish only to fade away. Nobody seems to freak out over how a ghost randomly appeared out of nowhere, let alone turned into confetti. After the nuptials, Ms. Ibuki gives a speech about how Fuko can be happy as long as everyone else is happy (and buy Clannad merchandise. One can only be happy if they buy Clannad merchandise. You wouldn’t want Fuko to be unhappy, would you?).
The day after, they forget about Fuko again, yet have really vague memories of her interspersed with the girl going off into the light like in Poltergeist. Tomoya then proceeds to give a monologue as if anything of what we saw means something.
Well, at least Fuko’s gone and will never come back again… Right? Right?
Okay, we finally close off the first arc. Laughs were had, deeds were done, and I became diagnosed for severe clinical depression. As a consolation, the next arc can’t be that bad in comparison—
“Will she bully me?”
“Yes! If you would like me too.”
Fuck… o.
Originally posted on Thursday, October 27, 2011.