The Spring 2017 Anime Clusterfuck: Written, Directed, Voiced, Edited, and Fellated by Neil Breen

The Spring 2017 Anime Clusterfuck: Written, Directed, Voiced, Edited, and Fellated by Neil Breen

Akashic Records of Bastard Magical Instructor Yes That Really Is The Title Look For it Wherever Videotapes Are Sold. Hey guys!!! This year has been pretty quiet hasn’t it? You know what we haven’t had at all this season? MAAAAAGIC SCHOOOLZ! AWWWWWWW YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADFADGADGAFDAGADSGDSAHF! Oh boy I am so excited to watch Onegai Bastard! WOOOO HOOOOOOOOoooooooo …he lied. Oh look! Tsunderes! Delinquents! Recycled character designs from other anime that sucked (Oh Hi Leonmitchelli Gallete des Roi!)! No plot! No characters! All…

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The Spring 2017 Anime Clusterfuck: *insert some shitty RW 4chan meme we’ll have to edit out later here*

The Spring 2017 Anime Clusterfuck: *insert some shitty RW 4chan meme we’ll have to edit out later here*

Hello. I welcome you to Spring 2017 Clusterfuck of Japanese Animations. Please peruse to your delight. Alice & Zoroku Oh boy its another “Girl escapes from a secret organization and has a random encounter on a rain swept road” show! What? You didn’t know about this genre before? Well neither did I, but then we had that shitty Brynhildr show and that awesome Flip Flappers show so somebody at the ever awful J.C. Staff decided “Hey! Here’s something we haven’t…

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Samurai Jack: The Only Man Who Still Likes Frank Miller

Samurai Jack: The Only Man Who Still Likes Frank Miller

It’s weird. When Samurai Jack did their Frank Miller tribute episode with the Spartans back in the day, Miller was still revered as the trendsetter of comics. Who aside from some rough spots like Dark Knight Strikes Again, was one of those names every fan of comics knew. But in 2017, Frank Miller’s now a laughingstock and a pariah because of his recent works like The Holy Terror, failed attempts at a directing career with The Spirit movie, and controversial…

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Samurai Jack: Are you there God? It’s me, Aku.

Samurai Jack: Are you there God? It’s me, Aku.

Let’s talk about mirror scenes, which we previously saw in Jack rescuing a couple dogs from beetle drones like he did in the first show. This time, we get a callback to when the water aliens agreed to build a totem in Aku’s honor in exchange for living in his domain. There, he wasn’t particularly emotional or hammy like his usual self, but he seemed to take a little joy in the idea of ruining a species’ homeworld and having…

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Samurai Jack: LCII – Adrian’s Revenge

Samurai Jack: LCII – Adrian’s Revenge

It’s always fascinating to see a show come back and have to adapt to modern storytelling practices. For the most part, the original Samurai Jack played by standalone episode rules. One-in-done. Little continuity in the way, with the occasional follow up episode. But this is the current year! Where even cartoons for toddlers have intricate lore and ask you to watch every previous episode to understand the latest one. So our revived Samurai Jack has to adapt, to evolve in…

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What Makes Samurai Jack Work?

What Makes Samurai Jack Work?

Boy, are people hyped for the new Samurai Jack. Even the people who don’t care for the show have the mental thought noise of Phil LaMarr saying “Gotta get back, back to the past” in their head recently. None of that hesitant hype people had for the new Powerpuff Girls or Teen Titans Go that eventually soured and became seething rage that quickly overpopulated actual discussion of those respective shows. Just genuine awe and excitement over seeing a little show…

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Kubo and the Two Strings: THE HEARTTTTT

Kubo and the Two Strings: THE HEARTTTTT

I hate having a film that I want to watch, but I don’t either because of lack of time, there are other things to watch, genuine forgetfulness, and so on. I’m seldom known for being on point the moment something important pops up. And while many films can hold that distinction for me, one that just kept getting away was Kubo. Meant to watch it on August, but no theaters around me had it. Meant to watch it on November,…

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Rose of Versailles: Blooming West

Rose of Versailles: Blooming West

Rose of Versailles was always that show I heard referenced to for years, but never got around to watching it. For years, I’ve watched more of that musical theatre version of the story than the manga or the anime. Embarrassing, I know. How dare I write reviews of anime when I haven’t watched all of the greats yet? But that was then, and now I’m cured, delivered, and I’ve seen the light that is a 70s/80s anime from Tokyo Movie…

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Winter 2017 Anime Clusterfuck: Kwanzaa on a Rational Planet

Winter 2017 Anime Clusterfuck: Kwanzaa on a Rational Planet

Chain Chronicle Whoa, I wasn’t expecting that opening. All of the cast just striking at the empire right before I’m ready for the opening. I feel like I missed ten episodes before this. I assumed I was meant to watch something beforehand, but even other fans tell me the movies were like this too. Overall, a very off-putting experience, not necessarily a bad one. Actually pretty refreshing to get past all of the exposition to see this, because all of…

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Winter 2017 Anime Clusterfuck: Recruit More Pimps

Winter 2017 Anime Clusterfuck: Recruit More Pimps

Welcome to the Winter season of this year’s anime! After a troublesome 2016, let’s hope 2017 has more to offer, shall we? Akiba’s Trip: The Animation Just watch fucking Akibaranger instead. – BloodyMarquis Blue Exorcist: Kyoto Impure King Saga Well, well, well look who came crawling back. >_< Last time on OwBlech—OH WHO AM I KIDDING? THERE WAS NO LAST TIME!!! IT WAS A FUCKING ANIME FUCKING ORIGINAL FUCKING FILLER ARC THAT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED BECAUSE FUCK ANIPLEX FUCK SEVEN…

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