Autumn 17 Years After Millennium Japanimation Orgy Part Two: Crucify the Umaru

Autumn 17 Years After Millennium Japanimation Orgy Part Two: Crucify the Umaru

Dies Irae Let it be known that in an era marked by social strife and the rise of fascism I am watching an anime about bishounen nazis. BISHOUNEN NAAAAAZEEEEEEEEES. Not only that but a show about Bishounen nazis funded entirely with kickstarter money. Somebody gave up their hard earned cash to see a show about bishounen Nazis. This is flat out appauling but not surprising considering Japan gave us Tanya The Evil earlier this year. And wasn’t Tanya the Evil…

Read More Read More

The Fall 2017 Anime Clusterfuck Part One: “This is the Anime Liberals Want”

The Fall 2017 Anime Clusterfuck Part One: “This is the Anime Liberals Want”

Hello, scoundrels. Hope you’ve been well, and watching good Christian entertainment like Martha and Snoop’s Potluck Dinner Party. As a reward for your good behavior, here is the new clusterfuck. Disobey in the future, and charlatans will lick your eyeballs clean. The Ancient Magus’ Bride Boy does this look familiar. So familiar that I feel like wrote it up LAST YEAR. Whoops. – Lord Dalek Black Clover Oh boy, more shonen shit! More obnoxious, irritating, generic pablum destined to be…

Read More Read More

Death Note (2017): My Twisted World

Death Note (2017): My Twisted World

At last, after over a decade of production talks and Zac Efron scented rumors, we finally have our American Death Note movie. Precious years have been spent to calculate the absolute best way to adapt the series into a film, and all those mountains of research have resulted in a movie where the blind guy from The Fault in Our Stars screams like a little girl for twenty-five seconds. Bask in this new picture, now that the pathos of Death…

Read More Read More

Legend of Korra Turf Wars: Oh No, It Isn’t…

Legend of Korra Turf Wars: Oh No, It Isn’t…

I don’t like the Avatar comics. Everyone I read had so many large issues and little nitpicks that made Book 2 of Korra look pleasant by comparison. The Search was so bad that I wished they kept the story of Zuko’s mom an unanswered riddle if this was going to be their explanation. I could forgive them if they were just regular tie-in comics written by nobodies I had never heard of, but these were written by Gene Luen Yang,…

Read More Read More

The Summer Anime 2017 Clusterfuck Part Three: Re:Creators is Just Traced Over Aldnoah;Zero Stills

The Summer Anime 2017 Clusterfuck Part Three: Re:Creators is Just Traced Over Aldnoah;Zero Stills

Battle Girl High School: Battle Girl Project BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! …Pfft, okay. What’s the real name of this show? Wait, this show is seriously called “Battle Girl High School: Battle Girl Project”? …BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, so, BGHS:BSP is exactly what you think it is. It’s an anime about a bunch of girls who fight battles in futuristic armor against some alien threat while also going to a high school where they learn how to fight battles. It’s painfully dull and I found myself…

Read More Read More

The Summer 2017 Clusterfuck Part Two: I’d Rather Watch Hbomberguy and Moviebob Than Hold Hands With Your Waifu

The Summer 2017 Clusterfuck Part Two: I’d Rather Watch Hbomberguy and Moviebob Than Hold Hands With Your Waifu

18if This is perhaps the single most bizarre show I have yet done in the five years since I’ve started writing articles for the seasonal clusterfuck. Watching I had absolutely no idea what was going on, who any of the characters were, or where the hell it was supposed to be going And yet… I simply couldn’t take my eyes off of it. That is how utterly absurd 18if really is. It simply dares you to look away and not…

Read More Read More

The Summer 2017 Clusterfuck Part One: Sixty Minutes of Black

The Summer 2017 Clusterfuck Part One: Sixty Minutes of Black

Aho-Girl Aho-Girl succeeds where Aoyama-kun fails. It takes a character defined by their exaggerated quirk and pushes the limits of what you can do with them in creative and unpredictable ways. Maybe it’s helped by its 11-minute runtime, but I didn’t tire of the comedy even though there’s a clear formula: Yoshiko does or says something stupid, there’s a banana joke or sexual harassment or both, and then Akkun hits her. It’s a really obvious formulaic structure that they just…

Read More Read More

The Point of Ashi

The Point of Ashi

The smoke is still billowing from the Samurai Jack finale, and it will take a while for some opinions on the season to solidify. But one major part of these last episodes will surely be a subject of debate, and by part, I mean Ashi. Ever since she was first introduced, fans were polarized at the thought of a new character taking some of the spotlight from Jack. Some were happy and pretended she was the new Ilana. Many were…

Read More Read More

Samurai Jack: Akup D’état

Samurai Jack: Akup D’état

It’s finally the end, and I can finally stop doing these. This final ride for Jack’s been an intriguing one ever since it was first announced. That first teaser of the new season, where Jack’s silhouette made him look like Galactus, felt like ages ago. But now, it’s over. The sword’s sheathed for good. And we can finally relax until Cartoon Network makes a final season to something else. I don’t know. Maybe Squirrel Boy? Or perhaps the Class of…

Read More Read More

Samurai Jack: We Did Get Our Father-Daughter Relationship

Samurai Jack: We Did Get Our Father-Daughter Relationship

Oh hey, it turns out Ashi’s mom did meet up with Aku at least once. And Jack and Ashi didn’t copulate after that kiss. Well, Genndy. I admit to being rused, and I’ll salute you for that. What I also salute are some of the moments between Jack and Ashi this week. The episode improved far more in those interactions compared to last week, with Jack telling Ashi about his childhood and how the cherry blossoms flew in the spring….

Read More Read More